Memoirs of a Woman of Pleasure [Fanny Hill] (Volume I)

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MEMOIRS
WOMA N.

OF

PLEASURE.

LONDON: -~..

Printed for G. Fenton in the “Strand :
M.DCC. XLIX.

MEMOIRS.

OF A

Woman of Pleafure. -

SIT down to give you aa
undeniable proof of my con-

difpenfible orders :- ungra.
cious then as the tafk may be, I fhall
recall to view thofe fcandalous ftages
of my life, out of which I emerg’d at
length, to the enjoyment of every blef-
fing in the power of love, health, and
fortune to beftow; whilft yet in the
A2 flower

fidering your defires as ine.

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a en eo aig eg ee Natale el rn ETE mek a ne a na ae ee te alt ee ae ee | ee wet

4 Memoirs of a

flower of youth, and not too late to
employ the leifure afforded me by great
eafe and affluence, to cultivate an under-
{tanding naturally not a defpicable one,
and which had, even amidft the whirl of
loofe pleafures I had been toft in, exerted
_more obfervation on the charaéters and
manners of the world, than what is com-
mon to thofe of my ‘unhappy profeffion,
who looking on all thought or reflexion
as their capital enemy, keep it at as great
a diftance as they can, or deftroy it with-
out mercy.

Hating, as I mortally do, all long
unneceffary prefaces, I fhall give you
good quarter in this, and ufe: no farther
apology, than to prepare you for feeing
the loofe part of my life, wrote with the
fame liberty that I led ic,

Truth! ftark naked truth, is the
word, and I will not fo much as take
the pains to beftow the ftrip of a gauze-
wrapper on it, but paint fituations fuch ,
as they actually rofe to me in nature,
rch of violating thofe laws of decency,

- that

Woman of Pleafure. ‘
that were never made for fuch unreferved
intimacies as oyrs; and you have too
much fenfe, too much knowledge of the
originals themfelves, to {nuff prudihhly,
and out of character, at the pictures of
them. The greateft men, thofe of the firft
and moft leading tafte, will not fcruple
adorning their private clofets with nudities,
though, incompliance with vulgar preju-
dices they may not think them decent de-
corations of the ftair-cafe or faloon,

This, and enough, premifed, I go
foufe into my perfonal hiftory, My
maiden. name was Francis Hill. 1 was
born at a {mall village near Liverpool in
Lancafbire, of parents extremely poor,
and I pioufly believe, extremely honeft.

My father, who had received a maim
on his limbs that difabled him from fol-
lowing the more laborious branches of
country-drudgery, got, by making of
nets, a fcanty fubfiftance, which was not
much enlarg’d by my mother’s keeping a
little day-{chool for the girls in her neigh-
bourhood. They had had feveral children,

A 3 but

6 Memoirs of a

but none lived to any age, except my-
felf, who had received from nature a con-
ftitution perfectly healthy.

My education, tift paft fourteen, was
no better than very vulgar 3 reading, or
rather fpelling, an illegible fcraw], anda
little ordinary plain-work, compofed the
whole fpftem of it: and then all my
foundation in virtue was no other than a
total ignorance of vice, and the fhy timi-

dity general to our fex, in the tender

ftage of life, when objects alarm, or
frighten more by their novelty, than
any thing elfe : but then this is a fear too
often cured at the expence of innocence,
when Mifs, by degrees, begins no longer
to look on man as a creature of prey that
will eat her,

My poor mother had divided her time
foentirely between her fcholars, and her
little domeftic cares, that fhe had fpared
very little of it to my inftruction, having,
from her own innocence from all ill, no
hint, or thought of guarding me againtt
any.

I was .

Woman of Pleafuree 7

I was now entering on my fifteenth
year, when the worft of ills befell me
in the lofs of my tender fond parents,
who were both carried off by the {mall-
pox, within a few days of each other;
my father dying firft, and chereby haften-
ing the death of my mother, fo that I
was now left an unhappy friendlefs Or.
phan: (for my father’s coming to fet-
tle there, was accidental, he being ori-
ginally a Kentifo-man.) That cruel di- —
_ ftemper which had proved fo fatal to
them, had indeed feized me, but with
{uch mild and favourable fymptoms, that
I was prefently out of danger, and, what
I then did not know the value of, was
entirely unmark’d. Ifkip over here, an
account of the natural grief and affliction,
which I felt on this melancholy occafion.
A little time, and the giddinefs of that
age, diffipated too foon my reflections on
that irreparable lofs ,; but nothing con-
tributed more to reconcile me to it, than
the notions that were immediately put
into my head, of going to London, and
A 4 looking

$3 Memars of a

looking out for a fervice, in which I was
promifed all affiftance and advice, from
one Effher Davis, a young woman that
had been down to fee her friends, and
who, after the ftay of afew days, was to
return to her place,

As I had now nobody left sive in the
village, who had concern enough about
what fhould become of me, to ftart any
objections to this fcheme, and the woman
who took care of me after imy parents
death rather encouraged me to purfue it,
I foon came to a refolution of making
this launch into the wide world, by repair-
ing to London, in order to feck my fortunes
aphrafe, which, by thebye, has ruined
more adventurers of both fexes, from the
country, than ever it made, or advanced.

Nor did Efther Davis a little comfort
and infpirit me to venture with her, by
piquing my childifh curiofity with the
fine fights chat were to be feen in Lon-
don; the Tombs, the Lions, the King,
the Royal Family, the fine Plays and
Operies, and in fhort all the diverfions

which

e — wean t

Woman of Pleafure. 9
which fell within her fphere of life to
come at the detail of all which perfectly
~ turn’d the little head of me. _

Nor can I remember, without. ‘laugh-
ing, the innocent admiration, not without
a fpice of envy, with which we. poor
girls, whofe church-going cloaths did
not rife above dowlafs fhifts, and ftuff
gowns, beheld Efther's fcower’d fattin-
gown, caps border’d -with an inch of .
lace; taudry ribbons, and fhoes belaced
with filver! all which we imagined grew
in London, and entered for ‘a great deal
into my determination of trying: to come
in for my fhare of them.

The idea however of having the com-
pany of atownfwoman with her, was the
trivial, and all che motive that engaged
Eftber to take charge of me during my
journey totown, where fhe told me, after
her manner and ftyle: ** as bow feveral
“© maids out of the country bad made them-
<¢ felves and all their kin for ever, that
© by preferving their VARTUE, fome had
“© teken fo with their maflers, that they

| 6 had

‘Io Memoirs of «

‘© bad married them, and kept them
“* coaches, and lived vaftly grand,
“ and bappy, and fome, may-bap came
go be Dutchefes: Luck was all, and
“S why not I as well as another,” with
other almanacs to this purpofe, which
fee mea tiptoe to begin this promifing
journey, and to leave a place, which
though my native one, contained no re-
Jations chat I had reafon to regret, and
‘was grown infipportable to me, from
the change of the tendereft ufage into
a cold air of charity, with which I was
entertain’d, even at the only friend’s
houfe, that I had the leaft expectations of
care and protection from ; She was how-
ever fo juft to me, as to manage the turn-
ing into money the lictle matters that. re-
mained to me after the debts, and burial-
charges were accounted for, and at my
departure put my whole fortune into my
hands, which confifted of a very flender
wardrobe, pack’d up in a very portable
box, and eight guineas, with feventeen
fhillings in filver, ftowed in a fpring-
| pouch,

ws
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gia SS 7 EESTI I

Woman of Pleasure. 11
pouch, which was a greater treafure than
ever I had yet feen together, and which
I could not conceive there was a poffibi-
lity of running out: and indeed I was
fo entirely taken up with the joy of
feeing myfelf miftrefs of fuch an immenfe
fum, that I gave very litle attention toa
world of good advice which was given
me with it,

Places then being taken for E/fber and
me, in the Cheffer-\\ aggon, I pafs over
a very immaterial fcene of leave-taking,
at which I dropt a few tears betwixt grief
and joy ; and for the fame reafons of in-
fignificance, fkip over all that happened
to me on the road, fuch as the Wag-
goner’s looking liquorifh on me, the
fchemes Jaid for me by fome of the paf-
fengers, which were defeated by the
vigilance of my guardian Effher, who,
to do her juftice, took a motherly care of
me, at the fame time that fhe taxed me
for her protection, by making me bear
all travelling charges, which I defray’d -
with the utmoft chearfulnefs, and thoughr
| myfelf

12 Memoirs of a

myfelf much obliged to her into the bar-
gain. She took indeed great care that
we were not over-rated, or impofed on,
as well as of managing as frugally as pof-
fible : expenfivenefs was not her vice.

It was pretty late in a fummer eve-
ning when we reached the town, in our
flow conveyance, though drawn by fix at
length. As we pafied thro’ the greateft
ftreets that led to our inn, the noife of the
coaches, the hurry, the crowds of foot

paffengers, in fhort, the new fcenery of ©

the fhops and houfes at once pleafed and
amazed me,

But guefs at my mortification and fur-
prize when we came to the inn, and our
things were landed, and deliver’d to us,
when my fellow traveller and protec-
trefs, Efiber Davis, who had ufed me
with the utmoft tendernefs during the
journey, and prepared me by no pre-
ceding figns for the ftunning blow I
was to receive; when, | fay, my only
dependance, and friend, in this ftrange
place, all ofa fudden affumed a ftrange

and

_ wt F

Woman of Pleafure. 13
and cool air towards me, asif fhe dread-
ed my becoming a burden to her,

Inftead then of proffering me the conti-
nuance of her affiftance and good offices,
which I relied upon, and never more
wanted, fhe thought herfelf, it feems,
abundantly acquitted of her engagements
to me, by having brought me fafe to my
journey’s end, and feeing nothing in her
procedure towards me, but what was |
natural and in order, begun to’ em-
brace me, by way of taking leave,
whilft I was fo confounded, fo ftruck,
that I had not fpirit or fenfe enough fo
much as to mention my hopes or expec-
tations from her experience, and know-
- ledge of the place fhe had brought me to, -

Whilft I ftood thus ftupid and mute,
which fhe doubtlefs attributed to nothing
more than a concern at parting, this idea
procured me perhaps, a ilight alleviation
of it, inthe following harrangue: ** Thar
ss now we were got fafe to London, and
«¢ that fhe was obliged to go to her.
‘* place, fhe advifed me by all means to

eget

Id: Memoirs of a

*¢ get into one as foon as poffible——
‘s That I need not fear geiting one—
‘¢ there were more places than parifh-
‘¢ churches—that fhe advifed me to go
¢ to an intelligence-office——that if fhe
‘«s heard of any thing ftirring, fhe would
‘¢ find me out, and let me know, ——=
«¢ that in the mean time I fhould take a
s¢ private lodging, and acquaint her where
‘¢ ro fend to me, that fhe wifh’d me
«© good luck, and hop’d I fhould
<¢ always have the grace to keep myfelf
«¢ honeft, and not bring a difgrace on
‘s my parentage :’’ with this fhe took
her leave of me, and left me, as it were,
on my own hands, full as lightly as I had
been put into hers,

Left thus alone, abfolutely difticute
and friendlefs, I began then to feel
moft bitterly the feverity of this fepara-
rion, the fcene of which had paft in a
little room in the inn: and no fooner was
her back turned, but the affliction I fele
at my helplefs ftrange circumftances,
-burft.out into a flood of tears, which in-
finitely

-

—~ =>

~ bg -

Woman of Pleafure. 15
. finitely relieved the oppreffion of my heart ;
though I {till remained flupified, and
moft perfectly perplex’d how to vee
of myfelf.
~ One of the drawers coming in, added
yet more to my uncertainty, by afking
me, ina fhort way, if I called for any
thing ? to which I replied, innocently,
No; but I wifhed him to tell me where
I might get a lodging for chat night :
he faid, he would go and fpeak to his
miftrefs, who accordingly came, and told
me drily, without entering in the leaft
into the diftrefs fhe faw me in, that [
might have a bed for a fhilling: and
that, as fhe fuppofed I had fome friends
in town (here I fetched a deep figh in
vain!) I might provide myfelf in the
morning.

>Tis incredible what trifling confolations
the human ‘mind will feize in its greateft
affiictions. The affurance of nothing more
than a bed to lie on that night, calm-
ed my agonies ; and being afham’d to
acquaint the miftrefs of the inn aa Se :

16 ~ Memuirs of a

had no friends to apply to in town, I
propofed to myfelf to proceed, the very
next morning, to an intelligence-office, to
which I was furnifh’d with written di-

rections, on the back of a ballad of E/-

ber’s giving me. There I counted on
getting information of any place that
fuch a country-girl as I might be fit
for, and where I could get into any fore
of being, before my little ftock fhould be
confumed: and as to acharacter, LEjther
had often repeated to me, that I might
depend on her managing me one; nor,
however affected I was at her leaving me
thus, did I entirely ceafe to rely on her,
as I began tothink, good-naturedly, that
her procedure was all in courfe, and that
it was only my ignorance of life that had
made me take ic in the light I at firft
did.

Accordingly, the next morning, I
dre{s’d me as clean and as neat as my ruf-
tic wardrobe would permit me ; and hav.
ing left my box, with f{pecial recommen-
dation, to the landlady, I ventured out

by

Woman of Pleafure. 17
by myfelf, and without any more diffi-
culty than may be fuppofed of a young
country-girl, barely fifteen, and to whom
every ign or fhop was. a gazing-trap, I
got to the wifh’d-for intelligence-office, |

It was kept by an elderly woman, who
fat at the receipt of cuftom, with a book
before her, in great form and order, and
feveral fcrolls, ready made out, of direc-
tions for places.

I made up then to this important per-
fonage, without lifting up my eyes, or
obferving any of the people round me,
who were attending there on the fame
errand as myfelf, and dropping her curtfies
nine-deep, made juft a fhift to ftammer
out my bufinefs to her.

Madam having heard me out, with all
the gravity and brow of a petty-minifter
of ftate, and feeing, at one glance over
my figure, what 1 was, made me no au-
fwer, but to afk me the preliminary fhil-
ling, on receipt of which fhe told me,
places for women were exceeding fcarce,
efpecially as I feemed too flight-buile for

9 hard-

18 Memoirs of a

hard-work ; but that fhe would look
over her book, and fee what was to be
done for me, defiring me to ftay a little
till fhe had difpatched fome other cuf-
tomers.
‘ On this, I drew back a little, mot
heartily mortified at a declaration which
carried with it a killing uncertainty, that
my circumftances could not well endure. -

Prefently, affuming more courage, and
feeking fome diverfion from my uneafy
thoughts, I ventured to life up my head
a little, and fent my eyes ona courfe
‘round the room, where they met full-
tilt with thofe of a lady (for fuch my
extreme innocence pronounc’d her) fit-
ting in a corner of the room, drefs’d ina
velvet manteel (nota ben’, inthe midft of
fummer) with her bonnet off ; pnor nes
red faced, andat leaft fifty.

She look’d as if fhe would devour me
.with her eyes, ftaring at me from head
to foot, without the leaft regard to the

confufion and blufhes her eying. me fo.

fixedly put me to, and which were to
4 her,

Woman of Pleafure. 19
her, no doubt, the ftrongeft recommen-
dation, and marks of my being fit for _
her purpofe, After a little time, in —
which my air,‘ perfon, and whole figure,
had undergone her ftriét examination,
which I had, on my part, tried to ren-
der favourable to me, by primming,
-drawing up my neck, and ferting my beft
looks, the advanc’d, and fpoke ta me
with the greateft demurenefs : :

Qu. Sweat heart, do you want a place?
Anf, Yes! and pleafe you, (with a
ccurtfy down to the ground.) |
Upon this, the acquainted me, that
fhe was aétually come to the office her-
felf, to look out for a fervant —— that
the believed I might do, with a little of
her inftru€lions,, —-— that fhe could take
my very looks for a fufficient character,
that London was a very wicked,
vile place, —— that fhe hop’d I would
be tractable, and keep out of bad compa- .
ny,—— in fhort, the faid all to me that
an old experienced practitioner in ‘town
could think of, and which:was much
more

20 - Memoirs of a

more than was neceffary to take in an
- artlefs unexperienced country-maid, who
was even afraid of becoming a wanderer
about the ftreets, and therefore gladly
Jump’d at the firft offer of a fhelter, efpe-
cially from fo grave and matron-like a
lady, for fuch my flattering fancy affur’d

me this sow miftrefgof mine was: | being

actually hired under the nofe of the good
woman that kept the office, whofe fhrewd
{miles and fhrugs I could not help obfer-
ving, and innocently interpreted them ag
marks of her being pleafed at my getting
intoplace fo foon: but, as I afterwards
came to know, thefe Beldams underftood
one another very well, and this wag
a market where Mrs. Brown (my mif-
trefs, frequently attended. on the watch
for any freth goods that might offer there,
for the ufe of her cuftomers, and her
own profit,

Madam was, however, fo well pleafed
with her bargain, that, fearing, I pre-
furne, left better advice, or fome accident
might occafion my flipping through her

fingers,

Woman of Pleafure. 21

‘fingers, fhe would officioufly take me in
a coach to my inn, where calling herfelf
for my box, it was, I being prefent, de-
livered without the leaft fcruple, or ex-
planation as to-where I was going.
This being over, fhe bid the coach-
man drive toa fhop in St, Pawl’s church-
yard, where fhe bought a pair of gloves,
which fhe gave me, and thence renew’d
her directions to the coachman, to drive
to her. houfe in —— treet, who accord-
ingly landed us at her door, after I had
been chear’d up, and entertain’d by the
way with the moft plaufible flams, with-
out one fyllable from which I could con-
clude any thing but that I was by the
greateft good luck fallen into the hands of
the kindeft miftrefs, not to fay friend,
that the var/al world could afford; and
accordingly I enter’d her doors with
moft complete confidence and exulta-
tion, promifing myfelf, that, as foon as
I fhould be a little fettled, I would ac-
quaint Efther Davis with my rare good
fortune,
Year

22 Memoirs of a

You may be fure tlie good opinion of:
my place was not leffened by the appear-—
ance of a very handfome back-parlour, :
into which I was led, and which feemed:
to me magnificently furnifhed, who had.

never feen better rooms than the ordinary
ones ininns upon the road. There were
two gilt pier-glaffes, and a beaufét, in
which a few pieces of plate, fet out to the

mot fhew, dazzled, and altogether -

perfuaded me, that I muft' be got into a
very reputable family. "S a"

Here my miftrefs firft began her part,
with telling me, that I muft have good

fpirits, arid learn to be free with her, that’
the had not taken-me to be a common fer-'

vant, to do domeftic drudgery, but to be

a kind of companion to her ; and that, if.

I would be a good girl, fhe would do
more than twenty mothers for me; to all
which I anfwered only by the profoundeft
and the aukwardeft curtfies, and a few
monofyllables, fuch asyes! no! to-be-fure.
Prefently my miftrefs touch’d the bell,
and in came a ftrapping maid-fervant,
| who

Woman of Pleafare. 23.

who had letus in: Here, Martha, {aid
Mrs. Brown, I have juft hir’d this young
woman to look after my linnen, fo ftep
up, and fhew her her chamber; and J
charge you to ufe her with as‘ much re-
fpec&t as you would myfelf, for I have
taken a prodigious liking to her, and I
do not know what I fhall do for her.
Martha, who was an atch jade, and
being ufed to this decoy, had her: cue
perfect, made me a kind of half curtfy,
and afked me to walk wp with her, and
accordingly fhew’d me a neat reom
two pair of ftairs backwards, in. which
there was a handfome bed, where Mar-
tha told me I was to Jay with a young
gentlewoman, a coufin of my miftrefs’s,
who fhe was fure would be vaftly good to

me: then fhe ran out into fuch affected —

encomiums on her good miftrefs! her
{weet miftrefs! and how happy I was to

light upon her,~——that I could not have

befpokea better,———with other the like
grofs ftuff, fuch-as would itfelfhave ftarted
fufpicions in any but fuch, an unpractifed

fime

24 Memoirs of a:

fimpleton who was perfectly new co life,
and who took every word fhe {faid, in
the very fenfe fhe laid out for me to take
it; but fhe readily faw what a pene-
tration fhe had to deal-with, and mea-
fured me very rightly in her manner of
whiftling to me, fo as to make me pleafed
- with my cage, and blind to its wires.

In the midft of thefe falfe explanations
of the nature of my future fervice, we
were rung for down again, and J was re-
introduced into the fame parlour, where
there was a table laid with three covers;
and my miftrefs had now got with her
one of her favourite girls, a notable ma-
nager of her houfe, and whofe bufinefs it
was to prepare and break fuch young Fil-
lies as I was to the mounting-block: and
fhe was accordingly, in that view, allot-
ted me for a bed-fellow ; and to give her
the more authority, fhe had the title of
coufin confer’d on her by the venerable
prefident of this college.

Here I underwent a fecond furvey,
which ended in the full approbation of

Mrs.

Woman of Pleafure. 25

Mrs, Phebe Ayres, the name of my tu-
terefs elect, to whofe care and inftructions
I was affectionately recotnmended.

Dinner was now fet on the table, and
in purfuance of treating me as a compa-
nion, Mrs, Brown, with a tone to cut
Off all difpute, foon over-rul’d all my
moft humble and moft confufed protefta-
tions againft fitting down with her Lady-
foip, which my very fhort breeding juft
fuggefted to me could not be right, or in
the order of things.

At table, the converfation was chiefly
kept up by the two madams, and car-
ried on in double-meaning expreffions,
interrupted every now and then by kind-
affurances to me, all tending to confirm
and fix my fatisfaction with my prefent
condition : augment it they could not, fo
very a novice was I then. |

It was here agreed, that I fhould keep
myfelf up, and out of fight for a few .
days, till fach cloaths could be procured
for me, as were fit for the character I was
to appear in, of -my miftrefs’s compa-

Vor. I. B nion

26 . Memoirs of a

panion, obferving withall, that on the
firft impreffions of my figure, much might
depend ; and, as they well judged, the
profpect of exchanging my country-
cloaths for London finery, made the claufe
of confinement digeft perfectly well with

me, Butthe truth was, Mrs. Brown did

not care that I fhould be feen or talked
to by any, either of her cuftomers, or. her.
Does, (as they call’d the girls provided
for them) till fhe had fecured a good -
market for my maidenhead, which I had
at leaft all the vppearances of having
brought into her ladyfliip's fervice, .

To flip over minuties of no importance
to the main of my ftory, I pafs the inter-
val to bed-time, in which I was more and
more pleafed with the views that open’d
to me of an eafy fervice under thefe good.
people: and after fupper, being fhew’d
up to bed, Mifs Phebe, who obferved a
kind of modeft reluétance in me to ftrip,
and go to bed in my fhift before her, now
the maid was withdrawn, came up to me,
and beginning with uopinning my hand-

| _kerchief,

Woman of Pleafure. | 27
kerchief, and gown, foon encouraged me
to go on with undrefling myfelf, and,
till blufhing ac now feeing myfelf. naked
to my fhift, 1. hurried to get under. the
bed-cloaths, out of fight. Phebe laugh’d,
and was not long before fhe placed her-
felf by my fide. She was about five and

twenty, by her own moft fufpicious ac- |

count, in which, according to all appear-
ances, fhe muft have funk at leaft ten
good years,. allowance too being made
for the havoc which a long courfe of hac-
ney-fhip, and hot waters, muft have made
of her conftitution, and which had alrea-
dy brought on, upon the. fpur, that ftale
ftage, in. which .chofe of her. profeffion
are reduced to think of /Lowing company,
inftead of /eeing it.

No fooner then was this precious fub-
fticute of my myftrefs’s lain down,: but
fhe; who was never out of her way when
any occafion of lewdnefs prefented itfelf,
turned to me, embraced, and kifs’d me
with preat eagernefs, This was new, this
-was.odd; but imputing it to nothing but
B 2 pure

28 Memoirs of a.

pure kindnefs, which, for ought I knew,

ic might be the Londos way to: exprefs
in that manner, I was determin’d not to
be behind-hand with her, and returned
her the kifs and embrace, with all the fer-
vour that perfeét innocence knew...

Encouraged by this, her hands became
extremely free, and wander’d over my
whole body, with touches, fqueezes, pref-
fures, that rather warm’d and furpriz’d
me with their novelty, than they either
fhock’d or alarm’d me.

The flattering praifes fhe intermingled

with thefe invafions, contributed alfo nota
little to bribe my paffivenefs, and know-
ing no ill, I fear’d none; efpecially from
one who had prevented all doubt of her
womanhood, by conducting tny hands to
a pair of breafts thac hung.loofely down,
in a fize and volume that full fufficient-
Jy diftingyifhed her fex, to me at: leaft,
_ who had never made any mene com-

parifon.
I lay then al tame and aa as
fhe could wifh, whilft her freedom, raifed
no

Woman of Pileafure. 29
ne other emotion bit thofé of a ftrange,
and> cill then. unfelt pleafure : every
part of me was open, and expofed to
the licentious courfes of her hands, which
like a lambent fire ran over my whole
body, and pate all coidnefs as they
went.
Nfy breatts, if it is not too bold a fi-
gure to call fo, two hard, firm, rifing
hillocs, that jutt began to fhew them-
felves, or fignify any thing to the touch,
émoloy’d and amufed her hands s.while,
till Nipping down lower, over a fmooth
track, fhe could juft feel the fofe filky
down that had but a few months before
put forth, and garnifh’d the mount-plea-
fant of thofe parts, and promifed to
fpread a grateful fhelter over the {weer
feat of the moft exquifite fenfation, and
which had been, till that inftant, the fear
of the moft infenfible innocence. Her
fingers play’d, and ftrove to twine in
the young tendrils of that mofs which
nature has contrived ac once for ufe and

ornament. :
B 3 But

30 . Memoirs of «a

But not contented with thefe outer-

pofts; fhe now attempts the main-fpot,
and began to twitch, to infinuate, and
at length to force an introduétion of a
finger into the quick itfelf, in fuch a
manner, that had fhe not proceeded by
infenfible gradations, that enflamed me
beyond the power of modefty to oppofe
its refiftence to their progrefs, 1 fhould
have jump’d out of bed, and cried out
for help againft fuch ftrange affaults.

Inftead of which, her lafcivious touches
had lighted up a new fire that wanton’d
through all my veins, but fix’d with vio-
lence in that center appointed them by
nature, where the firft ftrange hands were
now bufied in feeling, fqueezing, com-

preffing the lips, then opening them a--

gain, with a finger between, till an Oh!
exprefs’d her hurting me, where the nar-
rownefs of the unbroken pafiage refuled
it entrance to any depth.

Inthe mean time the extenfion of my
limbs, languid ftretchings, fighs, fhort
heavings, all eopipicd to affure that ex-

perienced

oaae ee ee eee ms

Woman of Pleafure. 31
perienced wanton, that I was more pleafed
then offended at her proceedings, which
fhe feafoned with repeated kiffes and ex-
Clamations, fuch as ** Oh! what a charm-
«sing creature thou art! ——— what a
“ happy man will he be that firft
‘© makes a woman of you |! ——-——
¢¢ Oh! that I were aman for your fake
a ——!” with the like broken ex-
preffions, interrupted by kiffes as fierce
and falacious as ever 1 pecrives from the
other fex.

For my: part, I was ene con:
fufed, and out of myfelf: Feelings fo
new were too much for me; my heated
and alarm’d fenfes were tn a tumult thac
robb’d me of all liberty of thought ;
tears of pleafure gufh’d from my eyes,
and {omewhat affuaged the fire that rag’d
all over me.

| Phebe herfelf, the hackney’d, tho-
rough -bred Phate, to whom all ‘modes
and devices of pleafure were known and
familiar, found, it feems, in this exer-
cife of her art to break young girls, the

B 4 gra-

32 Mmars of a
gratification of one of thole arbitrary

taftes, for which there is no accounting :;

not that fhe hated men, or did not even
prefer them to her own fex ; but when
fhe met with fuch occafions as this was,
a fatiety of enjoyments in the common
road, perhaps to a fecret byafs, inclined
her to make the moft of pleafure, where-
ever fhe could find it, without diftinétion
of fexes, In this view, now well affured
chat fhe had, by her touches, fufficiently
inflamed me for her purpofe, the roll’d
down the bed-cloaths gently, andI faw
myfelf ftretch’d naked, my fhift being

turned up to my neck, whilft I had no.

power or fenfe to oppofe it; even my
glowing blufhes expreffed more defire
than modefty, whilft the candle left, to
be fure not undefignedly, burning, threw

a full light on my whole body.
_ & No! (fays Phebe) you muft not,
<¢ my fweet girl, think to hide all thefe
‘¢ treafures from me, my fight muft be
<6 feafted as well as my touch ——I muft
‘© devour with my eyes this {pringing ba-
ss fom,

es = <r

Woman of Pleafure. 33
66 fom, ——~ fuffer me to kifs it —— .
«¢ I have not feen it enough ————« let
«sme kifs it once more —~—~ what
“ firm, fmooth, white flefh is here
cc _.— how delicately fhaped! —~
“¢ _ then this delicious down! Oh!
« let me view the fmal], dear, tender
‘¢ cleft |! ——- this is too much, I can-
“ not bear it, 1 muft, I muft ———”.
Here fhe took my hand, and, in a tranf-
port, carried it where you will eafily guefs ;
but what a difference in the ftate of the
fame thing ! a {preading thicket of
bufhy curls mark’d the full-grown com-
plete woman: then the cavity, to whieh
fhe guided my hand, eafily received it,
and as foon as fhe felt it within her, fhe
moved herfelf toand fro, with fo rapid a
friction, that I prefently withdrew it, wet
and clammy, when inftantly Phcbe grew
more compofed, after two or three fighs,
and heart-fetch’d Oh’s! and giving me
a kifs, that feemed to exhale her foul
through her lips, fhe replaced the bed-
cloaths over us, —

Bs | What

34 - Memoirs of a

What pleafure fhe had found I will
not fay; but this I know, that the firft
fparks of kindling nature, the firft
Ideas of pollution, were caught by me

that night, and that the acquaintance and’

communication with the bad of our own
fex, is often as fatal to innocence, as all

the feduétions of the other : But to go
on: — when Phebe was reftor’d to

that calm, which I was far from the en-
joyment of myfelf, the artfully founded
me on all the points neceflary to govern
the defigns of my virtuous miftrefs on
me, and by my anfwers, drawn from
pure undiffembled nature, fhe had no
reafon but to promife herfelf all imagin-
able fuccefs, fo far as it depended on my
ignorance, eafinefs, and warmth of con-
ftitution.

After a fufficient length of dialogue,
my bed-fellow- left me to my reft, and I
fell afleep, through pure wearinefs, from
the violent emotions I had been led into,
when nature (which had been too warmly

ftir’d, and fermented to fubfide without
| allay-

Woman of Pleafure. 35
allaying by fome means or other) relieved
me by one of thofe lufcious dreams, the
tranfports of which are fcarce inferior to
thoie of waking, real action.

In the morning I awoke, about ten,
perfeétly gay and refrethed , Phebe was
up before me, and afked me in the
kindeft manner how I did, how I had
refted, and if I was ready for breakfaft ?
carefully at the fame time avoiding to
encreafe the confufion fhe faw I was ins.
at looking her in the face, by any hint of
the night’s bed-fcene. —— I told her, if
fhe pleafed, I would get up, and begin
any work fhe would be pleafed to fet me
about. She fmil’d; prefently the maid |
brought in the tea-equipage, and I juft.
huddled my cloaths on, when in waddled
my miftrefs. I expected no lefs than to
be told of, if not chid for, my late ri-
fing, when I was agreeably difappointed
by her compliments on my pure and frefh
looks: ‘* I was a bud of beauty ; (this was
<¢ her ftile) and how vaftly all the fine
«¢ men would admire me!” to all which

“my

34 Memoirs of a

my anfwers did not, I can affure you,
wrong my breeding: they were as fim-
_ ple, and filly as they could wifh, and,
no doubt, flattered them infinitely
more than had they proved me enlight-
ened by education and knowledge of the
world,

We breakfafted ; and the tea-things
were fcarce removed, when in were
brought two bundles of Jinnen and wear-
ing apparel; in fhort, all the neceffaries
for rigging me out, as they termed ir,
compleatly,

. Imagine to yourfelf, madam, how my
little coquet-heart flutter’d with joy at
the fight of a white lute-ftring, flower’d
with filver, fcoured indeed, but paft on
me for fpick-and-fpan new, a Bre/ffel-
lace cap, braided fhoes, and the reft in
proportion, all fecond-hand finery, and
procured inftantly for che occafion, by
the diligence and induftry of the good
Mrs. Brown, who had already. a chap-
man for me in the houfe, before whom

my charms were to pafs in review ; for he
\ had

a ———F- ~~ cee ows eee an

wee? (en ene pa

Woman of Pleafure. 87
had not only in courfe infifted on a pre-
vious fight of the premiffes, but alfo on
immediate furrender.to him, in cafe of
his agreeing for me concluding very
wifely, that fuch a place as 1 was in, was
of the hotteft, to truft the keeping of
fuch a perifhable commodity in, a8 &
‘maidenhead.

The care of dreffing, and tricking me
out for the market, was then left to
Phebe, who acquitted herfelf, if not well,
at leaft perfectly to the fatisfaction of
every thing but my impatience of feeing
myfelf drefs’d. When it was over, and
I view'd myfelf in the glafs, I was, no
doubt, too natural, too artlefs, to hide
my childifh joy at the change; a change
in real truth for much the worfe, fince I
muft have much better become the neat
eafy fimplicity of my ruftic drefs, than
the aukward, untoward, taudry finery,
that I could not conceal my ftrangenefs

to.
Pheste’s compliments, however, in
which her own fharé in drefling me was
not

38 Memoirs of a

not forgot, did not a little confirm me
in now the firft notions I had ever enter-
tained concerning my perfon, which, be
it faid without vanity, was then tolerable
enough to jutify a tafte for me, and of
which it may not be out of place here to
fketch you an unflatter’d picture.

I was tall, yet not too tall of my age,
which, as I ‘before remark’d, was barely
turned of fifteen, my fhape - perfectly
ftraight, thin waifted, and light and free,
without owing any thing to ftays. My
hair was a gloffy auburn, and as foft as
filk, flowing down my neck, in natural
buckles, and did not a little fet off the
whitenefs of a fmooth fkin. My face
was rather too ruddy, though its fea-
tures were delicate, and the fhape was
a roundifh oval, except where a pit
in my chin had far from a difagree-
able effect: my eyes were as black as can
be imagin’d, and rather languifhing than
fparkling, except on certain occafions,
when I have been told they ftruck fire
faft enough: my teeth, which I ever care-

fully

Woman of Pleafure. 39
fully preferv’d, were fmall, even, and
white ; my bofom was finely rais’d, and
one might then difcern rather the pro-
mife, than the actual growth, of the round,.
firm breafts, that in a little time made
that promife good: in fhort, all the
points of beauty that are moft univerfal-
ly in requeft, I had, or at jeaft my va-
nity forbid me to appeal] from the de-
cifion of our fovereign judges the men,
who all, that I ever knew at leaft, gave

it thus highly in my favour; and I met.
with, even in my own fex, fome that.
were above denying me that juftice, |

whilft others praifed me yet more unful-

vectedly, by endeavouring to detract

from me, in points of perfon and figure

that 1 obvioufly excelled in. ——~ This is
1 own, too much, too ftrong of felf-

praife ; but fhould J not be ungrateful to
nature, and to a form to which I owe

fuch fingular bleffings of pleafure and

fortune, were I to fupprefs, through an
affectation of modefty, the mention of
fuch valuable gifts ?

Well.

40 Memoirs of a

Well then, drefs’d I was, and little did
it then enter into my head that all this
gay attire was no more than decking the
victim out for facrifice, whilft I inno-
cently attributed all to fheer friendfhip and
kindnefs in the fweet good Mrs. Brown,
who, I was forgetting to mention, had,
under pretence of keeping my money
fafe, got from me, without the leaft he-
fitation, the Driblet, (fo 1 now call it)
which remained to me after the expences
of my journey.

After fome little time, moft agreeably

fpent before the glafs, in fcarce felf-ad-
miration, fince my new drefs had by
much the greateft fhare in it, I was fene
for down to the parlour, where the old
lady faluted me, and wifhed me joy of my-
new Cloaths, which, fhe was not afham’d

to fay, fitted me as if 1 had worn nothing:

but the fineft all my life time; but what
was it fhe could not fee me filly enough to
{wallow ? at the fame time fhe prefented
me to another coufin of her own creation,
an elderly gentleman, who got up at my

| entry

Woman of Pleafure. 41

entry intothe room, and on my dropping —
a curtfy to him, faluted me, and feemed
a little affronted that I had only prefent-
ed my cheek to him; a miftake, which,
if one, he immediately correéted, by
glewing his lips to mine with an ardour
which his figure had not at all difpofed
me to thank him for: his figure, I fay,
than which nothing could be more fhock-
ing or deteftable; forugly, and difagree-
able, were terms too gentle to convey a
juft idea of it.

- Imagine to yourfelf, a man rather paft
‘threefcore, fhort and. ill made, with a4
yellow cadaverous hue, great poggling
eyes, that ftared as if he was ftrangled ;
an out-mouth from two more properly
tufhes than teeth, livid lips, and a breath
dike a jakes; then he had a. peculiar
ghaftlinefs in his grin, that made him
perfe&tly frightful, if not dangerous to
women with child; yet, made as he was
thus in mock of man, .he.was fo blind to
his own ftaring deformities, as te think
himfelf born for pleafing, and that no

woman —

42 Memoirs of a

woman could fee him with impunity: in
confequence of which idea, he had Javifh-
ed great fums on fuch wretches as could.
gain upon themfelves to pretend love to
his perfon, whilft to thofe who had not
art or patience to diffemble the horror it
infpired, he behaved even brutally. Im-
potence, more than neceffity, made him
feek in variety, the provocative that was
wanting to raife him to the pitch of enjoy-
ment, which too he often faw himfelf
baulked of by the failure of his powers :
and this always threw him into a fit of
rage, which he wreak’d, as far as he
durft, on the innocent objects of his fit
‘of momentary defire.

This then was the monfter to which my
confcientious benefactrefs, who had long
been his purveyor in this way, had doom-
ed me, and -fent for me down purpofely
for this examination: accordingly, fhe
made me ftand up before him, turned me
round, unpin’d my handkerchief, - re-
‘mark’d to him the rife and fall), the
— and whitenefs of a bafom juft be-

ginning

Ee ae ce a

Woman of Pleafure. 43

ginning to fill; then made me walk, and
took even a handle from the rutfticity of
my gait, to inflame the inventory of my
charms: in fhort, fhe omitted no point
of jockey-fhip ; to which he only anfwer’d
by gracious nods of approbation, whilft
he look’d goats and monkeys at me:
for I fometimes ftole.a corner-glance at
him, and,~ encountering his fiery eager
ftare, looked another way from pure hor-
ror and affright, which he, doubtlefs in
charaéter, attributed co nothing more than
maiden modefty, or at leaft the affec-
- tation of it.

However, I was foon difmifs’d, and
reconducted to my room, by Phebe, who
ftuck clofe to me, by way of not leaving
me alone, and at leifure,. to make fuch
reflections as might naturally rife to any
one, not an idiot, on fuch-a {cene as I
had juft gone through; but to my fhame
be it confefs’d, that fuch was my imvin-
cible ftupidity, or rather portentous inno-
cence, that Idid not yet open my eyes oa
Mrs. Brown’s defigns, and faw ‘nothing

i

44. Memoirs of a
in this titular coufin of her’s, but a fheck-
ing hideous perfon, which did not at all
concern me, unlefs that my gratitude for
my bencfactrefs made me extend my re-
fpect to all her coufinhood. :
Phebe, however, began to fift the fare
and pulfes of my heart towards this mon:
fter, afking me how I fhould approve of
fuch a fine gentleman for a. hufband?
(fine gentleman, I fuppofe the called him,
from his being daubed with lace) I an-
dwered her very naturally, that I had no
thoughts of a hufband ; , but that if I was
to choofe one, it fhould be among my.owa
degree fure! fo much-hdd my averfion
to that wretch’s hideous figure indifpofed
me to all fine gentlemen, and confounded
my ideas, as if thofe of that rank had
been neceffarily caft in the fame mould
that he was.;. bur Phebe was not to be beat
off fo, but went on with her endeavours to
melt and foften me:for the purpofes of my
reception into that hofpitable houfe: and
whilft fhe. talked of the fex in general, fhe
had no reafon to: defpair of a compliante,
~ which

Woman of Pleafure. 45

which more than one reafon fhewed her
would be eafily enough obtained of me ;
but thea fhe had too much experience
not.to difcover that my particular fix’d
averfion to thacfrightful coufin, would be
a block not fo readily to be removed, as
faited with the confummation of their bar-
gain and fale of me.

Mother Brown had in the mean time
agreed the terms with this liquorifh old
goat, which I afterwards underftood were
to be fifty guineas peremptory for the Ii-
berty of attempting me, and a hundred
more at the compleat gratification of his
defires, in the triumph over my virgini-
ty: and as for me, I was.to be left en-
tirely at the difcretion of his liking and
generofiry. This unrighteous contract
being thus fettled, he was fo eager to be
put in poffeffion, that he infifted on being
intreduc’d to drink tea with me that
_afterncon, when we were to be left alone ;
‘nor would he hearken to the procurefs’s
remonftrances, that I was not fufficient-
a prepared, and ripened for fuch an at-

tack ;

46 .. Memoirs ofa

tack ; that 1 was yet too green and un-
tam’d, having been fcarce twenty-four
hours in her houfe: it is the character
of luft to be impatient, and his vanity
arming him againft any. fuppofition of
other than the common refiftance of @
maid on thofe occafions, made him reject
all propofals of delay, and my dreadful
trial was thus fix'd, unknown to. me that
‘very evening...

. At dinner, Mrs. Borah saa Phabe did
‘nothing but run riot in praifes of this won-
derful coufin, and how happy that wo-
man would be that he would favour. with
-his addreffes:: in fhort, my two goffips
exhaufted all their rhetoric co perfyade
me to:accept them; ‘* that the gentle-
‘© man was violently {mitten with me at
sf firft fight'- --- that he would make

6¢ my fortune if I would be a good girl,

and not ftand.in-my own light - - -
© chae I fhould cruft his honour - - - -
ss that J fhould be made for ever, and
s¢ have a chariot to go abroad in, ” - - -
with all fuch ftuff as was fit to turn the
a head

Woman of Pleafire. 49.

head of fuch a filly ignorant girl as J then
was: but luckily here my averfion had:
taken already fuch deep root in me, my
heart was fo ftrongly defended from him
by my fenfes, that, wanting the art to
mafk my fentiments, I gave them no
hopes of their employer’s fucceeding, -at
leaft very eafily, with me. The glafs too
march’d- pretty quick, with a view, I
fuppofe, to make a friend of the warmth
of my confticution, in the ae of the
imminent attack.

. Thus they kept me pretty long at
table, and about fix in the evening, after
I was retired to my owa apartment, and
the tea-board was fet, enters my venera-
ble miftrefs, follow’d clofe by that fatyr,
who came in grinning ina way peculiar
to him, and by his odious prefence con-
firm’d me in all the fentiments of detef-
tation which hijs firft appearance had given
birth to.

He fat down fronting me, and all tea-
time kept ogling me in a manner that
gave me the utmoft pain and confulion,

all

a a ee

48 Memoirs of a

all the marks of which he ftill explained
co be my bafhfulnefs, and not being ufed
to fee company. |
Tea over, the commode old lady
pleaded urgent bufinefs, (which indeed
was true) to go out, and earneftly defired
me to entertain her coufin kindly till the
came back, both for my own fake and
her’s; and then, with a © pray fir, be
<s very good, be very tender of the fweet
¢ child,” fhe went out of the rooms
leaving me ftaring, with my mouth open,
and unprepared, by the fuddennefs of her
departure, to oppofe it. |
‘We were now alones and on that idea
a fudden fit of trembling feized me; —
~——-I was fo afraid, without a precife
notion of why, and what I had to fear,

thac I fat on the fettee, by the fire-fide,

motionlefs, and petrified, without life or
fpirit, not knowing how to leok, or how
to ftir. 7

But long I was not fuffered to remain
in this ftate of ftupefaction: the monfter
{quatted down. by be onthe fettee, and

7 with

Woman of Pleafure. 49.
without farther ceremony, or preamble,
flings his. arms about my neck, and draw-
ing me pretty forcibly towards him,
oblig’d me to receive, in fpite of my
ftruggles to difengage from him, his
peftilential kiffes, which quite overcame. _
me: finding me then next to. fenfelefs
and unrefifting, he tears off my neck-
handkerchief, and laid all open there te
his eyes, and hands; ftill 1 endur’d all
without flinching, till embolden’d by my
fufferance, and fileace, (for 1 had not the
power to fpeak, or cry out) he attempted-
to lay me down on the fettee, aad I felt
his hand on the lower part of; my: naked .
thighs, which were crofs’d, and. which he
endeavour’d, to unlock. Oh then! I was,
rouzed out of my paffive endurance, and.
{pringing from him with an aétivity he:
was not prepar’d for, threw myfelf at
his feet, and bege’d him, in the moft
moving tone, not to be rude, and that he:
would not hurt me: - - - © Hurt you,
‘© my dear! fays the brute, I intend: you:
¢s no harm - - - Has not the old lady

Vox. I. C <* tald

50 Memoirs of a
<¢ told you that I loved you? - - - that
ss | thall do handfomely by you?” - - -
fhe has indeed, fir, faid 1, but I cannot
love you, indeed I cannot! —— pray,
let me alone - - - - yes! 1 will love
you dearly, if you will lec me alone, and
go away: but I was talking: to
the wind ; for whether my tears, my at-
titude, or the diforder of my drefs prov’d
frefh incentives, or whether he was now
under the dominion of defires he could
not bridle, but fnorting and foaming
with luft and rage, he renews his attack, .
feizes me, and again attempts to extend
and fix me. on the fettee; in which he
facceeded fo far as to lay me along; and
even to tofs my petticoats over my head,
and: lay my thighs baré, which | -obfti-
nately kept clofe, nor could he, though
he attempted with his knee to force them -
open, effect it fo as to ftand fair for being
matter of the main avenue: he was un-
buttoned, both waiftcoat and breeches,
yet I only felt the weight of his body -
upon me, whilft I lay ftruggling with
indig-

Woman of Pleafure. gt
indignation, and dying with terrors; but
he ftopt all of a fudden, and got off,
panting, blowing, curfing, and rehearf-
ing upon me o/d and ugly! for fo I had
very naturally called him,’ in the heat of |
my defence, Ss.

The brute had, it feems, as I after-
wards underftood, brought on, by his
eagernefs, and ftruggle, the ultimate’
period of his hot fit of luft, which his
power was too fhort-liv’d to carry him
through the full execution of; of which
my thighs and linnen_ received the
effufion. |

When it was over, he bid me, with a
tone of difpleafure, get up - - - - “that
‘© he would not do me the honour to
“‘ think of me any more, -- - that the
‘¢ old b—h might look out for another
“scully, - - - - thathe would not be
fool’d fo by e’er a country mock-
«s modefty in England - - - --that he
s¢ fuppofed I had left my maidenhead
‘¢ with fome hobnail in the country, and
** was come to difpofe of my fkim-milk

C2 in

$2 Memoirs of a

“6 in town,” with a volley of the like

abufe ; which I liftened to with more
pleafure than ever fond woman did to
proteftations of love, from her darling
minion: for, uncapable as I was of re-

ceiving any addition to my perfect hatred,

and averfion to him, I Jook’d on his
railing, as my fecurity againft his renew-.
ing his moft odious careffes.

Yet, plain as Mrs. Brown’s views were.

now come out, I had not the heart, or

{pirit to open my eyes on them: ftill I

could not part with my dependence on
that beldam ; fo much did I think my-
felf her’s, foul and body: or rather, I

fought to deceive myfelf with the conti-

nuation of my good opinion of her, and.
chofe to wait the worft, at her hands,
fooner than being turn’d out to ftarve in.
the ftreets, without a penny. of money,

or a friend to apply to: thefe fears were:

my folly.

Whilft this confufion. of ideas was paf-
fing in my head, and I fat penfive by the:
fire, with my eyes brimming. with tears,

my

Woman of Plesfure. 53
‘my neck ftill bare, and my cap fall’n of
in the ftruggle, fo that my hair was in
the diforder you may guefs, the villain’s
luft began, 1 fuppofe, to be again in
flow, at che fight of all that bloom of
youth which prefented itfelf to his view,
a bloom yet unenjoy’d, and in courfe not
yet indifferent to him.

After fome paufe, he afk’d me, with
atone of voice mightily foften’d, whe-
ther I would make it up with him be-
fore the ald lady returned, and all] fhould
be well; he would reftore me his affec-
tions: at the fame time offering to kifs
me, and fee] my breafts. But now my
extreme averfion, my fears, my indigna-
tion, all acting upon me, gave mea fpi-
ric not natural to me, fo that breaking
_loofe from him, [ ran to the bell, and
rang it, before he was aware, with fuch
violence and effect, as brought up the
maid to know what was the matter, or
whether the gentleman wanted any thing ?
and, before he could proceed to greater
extremities, fhe bounc’d into the room,

C 3 | and

54 Memoirs of a

and feeing me ftretch’d on the floor, my
hair al] difhevell’d, my nofe guifhing out
blood, (which did not a little tragedize
' the fcene) and my odious perfecutor ftill
intent on pufhing his brutal point, un-
mov’d by all my cries and diftrefs, fhe
was herfelf confounded, and did not
know what to do.

As much however as Martha might

be prepared, and hardened to tranfactions ©

of this forr, all womanhood muft have
been out. of her heart, could fhe have
feen this unmov’d. _Befides that, on the
face of things, fhe imagined that matters
_ had gone greater lengths than they really
had, and that the courtefy of the houfe had
been actually confummated on me, and
flung, me into the condition I was in: in
this notion fhe inftantly took my part,
and advis’d the gentleman to go down,
and leave me to recover myfelf, and that
all would be foon over with me. —
That when Mrs. Brown, and Phebe,
who were gone out, were return’d, they
would take order for every thing to his

fatis-

_— a papas la. cde 3 Sees

Woman of Pleafure. 55

fatisfation, - - - - that nothing would
be loft by a little patience with the poor
tender thing, - - -- that for her part,

fhe was frighten’d, - - - - - fhe could
not tell what to fay to fuch doings, -
but that the would ftay by me_till.my
miftrefs came home. , As the wench faid
all this in a refolute tone, and the monfter
himfelf began to perceive that things
would not mend by his laying, he took
his hat and went out of the room mur-
muring, and pleating his brows like an
old ape, fo that I was delivered from the
horrors of his deteftable prefence.

As foon ashe was gone, Martha very
tenderly offered me her affiftance in any
thing, and would have got me fome hartf-
horn drops, and put me to bed; which
laft I, at firft, pofitively refufed, in the fear
that the monfter might return, and take
me at that advantage : however, with much
perfuafion, and affurances that I fhould
not be molefted that night, fhe prevailed
on me to lie down; and indeed I was fo
weakened by my ftruggles, fo dejected

C 4 by

56 Memoirs of a

by my fearful apprehenfions, fo terrour-
ftruck, chat I had no power to fit up, or
hardly to give anfwers to the queftions
with which the curious Martha ply’d and
‘perplex’d me.

~ Such too, and fo cruel was my fate,
that I dreaded the fight of Mrs. Browz,
as if I had been the criminal}, and fhe the
perfon injur’d: a miftake which you will
not think fo ftrangé, on diftinguifhing
that neither virtue, or principles, had the
leaft fhare in the defence J had made;
but only the particular averfion I had con-
ceiv’d againft this firft brutal and fright-
ful invader of my tender innecence.

I pafs'd then the time till Mrs. Browns
return home, under all the agitations of
fear and defpair that may eafily be guef-
fed. |

About eleven at night my two lIa-
dies came home, and having receiv’d
rather a favourable account from Martha,
who had run down to let them in: (for
Mr. Crofts, that was the name of my
brute, was gone out of the houfe, after

, walting

Woman of Pleafure. 57

waiting till he had tired his patience for .
Mrs. Brown’s return) they came thunder-
ing up ftairs, and feeing me pale, my
face bloody, and all the marks of the
moft thorough dejection, they employed’
themfelves more to comfort and re-in{pirit
me, than in making me the reproaches I
was weak enough to fear: I who had fo
many jufter and ftronger to retort upon
them.

Mrs. Brown withdrawn, Phebe came
prefently to bed to me, and what with
the anfwers fhe drew from me, what
with her own method of pal/padly {fatis-
fying herfelf, fhe foon difcovered that J
had been more frighted than hurt; up.
on which, I fuppofe being herfelf feiz*d
with fleep, and referving her leCtures and
inftructions till the next morning, fhe left
me, properly fpeaking, to my unreft:
for after toffing, and turning, the greareft
part of the night, and tormenting myfelf
with the falfeft notions and apprehenfions
of things, I fell, through meer fatigue,
into a kind of delirious doze, out of which

Cs J waked

58 _ Memoirs of a

I wak’d late in the morning, in a violent
fever ; a circumftance which was ex-
tremely critical to reprive me, at leaft
for a time, from the attacks of a wretch,
infinitely more terrible to me than death
itfelf.

The interefted care that was taken of
nje during my illnefs, in order to reftore
me to a condition of making good the
bawd’s engagements, or of enduring fur-
ther trials, had however fuch an effect on
my grateful difpofition, that I even
thought myfelf oblig’d to my undoers for
their attentions to promote my recovery,
and, above all, for the keeping out of
my fight that brutal ravifher, the author

of my diforder, on their finding I was”

too ftrongly mov’d at the bare mention
of his name.

Youth is foon raifed ; and a few days
were fufficient to conquer the fury of my
fever: but what contributed moft to my
perfect recovery, and to my reconcilia-
tion with life, was the timely news, that
Mr. Crofts, who was a merchant of confi-

BO derabie

-~ @

~_ - ~~ ~~

Woman of Pleafure. | 59

derable dealings, was arrefted at the king’s
fuit, for near forty thoufand pounds, on
account of his driving a certain contra-
band trade, and that his affairs were fo
defperate, that even were it in his inclina-
tion, it would not be in his power to re-
new his defigns upon me: for he was in-
{tantly thrown into a prifon, which it
was not likely that he would get out of in
hatte.

Mrs. Brown, who had touch’d his fifty
guineas, advanc’d to fo little purpofe,
and loft all hopes of the remaining hun-
dred, began to look upon my treatment
of him with a more favourable eye; and
as they had obfev’d my temper to be per-
fectly traétabie, and conformable to their
views, all che girls that compos’d her
flock, were fuffer’d co vifit me, and had
their cue to difpofe me, by their converfa-
tion, to a perfect refignation of myfelf to
Mrs. Brown’s direction.

Accordingly they were let in upon me,
and all that frolic and thoughtlefs gaie-
ty in which thofe giddy creatures con-

fume

60 ‘Memoirs of a

fume their Jeifure, made me envy a con-
dition of which I only faw the fair fide:
infomuch, that the being one of them
became even.my ambition: a difpofition
which they all carefully cultivated ; and
I wanted how nothing but to reftore my
health, that I might be able to undergo
the ceremony of the initiation.

Converfation, example, all, in thert,
contributed, in that houfe, co corrupt my
Native purity, which had taken no root
in education, whilft now the inflamable
principle of pleafure, fo eafily fired at my
aye, made ftrange work within me, and
all che modefty 1] was brought up in the
habit, (not the inftruction) of, began to
melt away, like dew before the fun’s heat
not to mention that I made a vice of ne-
ceffity, from the conftant fears I had of
being turn’d out to ftarve.

I was foon pretty well recover’d, and
at. certain hours allow’d to range all over
the houfe, but cautioufly kept from fee-
ing any company , till the arrival of lord
RB — from Bath, to whom Mrs, Brown,

in

ag ee

ee
bh <

Woman of Pleafure. 61

in refpeét to his experienced generofity
on fuch occafions, propofed to offer the
refufal of that trinket of mine, which
bears fo great an imaginary value ; and
his lordfhip being. expected in town in
lefs than a fortnight, Mrs. Brown judged
I fhould be entirely renewed in beauty, |
and frefhnefs, by that time, and afford
her the chance of a better bargain than
fhe had driven with Mr. Crofts.

In the mean time, I was fo thorough-
ly, as chey call ic, brought over, fo tame
to their whiftle, that, had my cage-door
been fet open, I had no idea that |
ought to fly anywhere, fooner than ftay
where I was ; nor had I the leaft fenfe of
regretting my condition, but waited very
quietly for whatever Mrs. Brows fhould
order concerning me, who on her fide,
by herfelf, and her agents, took more
than the neceffary precautions to lull and
lay afleep all juft reflexions on my defti-
nation, |

Preachments of morality over the left

fhoulder, a life of joy painted in the
gayelt

_—

62 Memoirs of a

gayeft colours, careffes, promifes, ins
dulgent treatment, nothing in fhort was
wanting to domefticate me entirely, and
to prevent my going out any where to
get better advice; alafs! 1 dream’d of
no fuch thing,

Hitherto I had been indebted only to
the girls of the houfe for the corruption
of my innocence: their lufcious talk, in
which modefty was far from refpected,
their defcriptions of their engagements
with men, had given me a tolerable in.
fight into the nature and myfteries of
their profeffion, at the fame time that
they highly provok’d an itch of florid
warm-{pirited blood through every vein;
bute above all, my bed-fellow Phede,
whofe pupil I more immediately was,
exerted her talents in giving me the

firft tinétures of pleafure: whilft nature

now warm’d, and wantoned with dif-
coveries fo interefting, piqu’d a curio-
fity which Phebe artfully whetted, and
leading me from queftion to queftion of

her own fuggeftion, explain’d to me
; all

ome. alfa

ve

Woman of Pleafure. 63
all the myfteries of Venus; but I could
not long remain in fuch an houfe as that,
without being an eye-witnefs of more than
I could conceive from her defcriptions.

One day about twelve at noon, being

‘thoroughly recover’d of my fever, I

happened to be in Mrs, Brown’s dark
Clofet, where I had not been half an
hour, refting on the maids fettle-bed,
before I heard a ruftling in the bed-
chamber, feparated from the clofet only
by two fafh-doors, before the glaffes of
which were drawn two yellow-damafk
curtains, but not fo clofe as to exclude
the full view-of the room from any per-
fon in the clofet.

I inftantly crept foftly, and pofted
myfelf fo, that feeing every thing mi-
nutely, I could not myfelf be feen; and
who fhould come in but the venerable
mother Abbefs herfelf! handed in by
a tall, brawny, young horfe-grenadier,
moulded in the Hercules-ftile,; in fine,
the choice of the moft experienced dame,
in thofe ArrarRs, in all London.

64 Mmuors of a 7

Oh! how ftill and huth did I keep
at my ftand, left any noife fhould
baulk my curiofity, or bring thadam in-
to the clofet !

But I had not much reafon to fear
either, for fhe was fo entirely taken up
with her prefent great concern, that fhe
had no fenfe of attention to fpare to any
thing elfe. |

Droll was it to fee that clumfy fat
figure of her’s flop down on the foot
of the bed, oppofite to the clofet-door,
fo that I had a full front-view of all
her charms. |

Her paramour fat down by her: He
feemed to be a man of very few
words, and a great ftomach; for pro-
ceeding inftantly to effentials, he gave
her fome hearty fmacks, and thrufting
his hands into her breafts, difengag’d
them from her ftays, in {corn of whofe
confinement they. broke loofe, and
fwagged down, navel low at Jeaft. A
more enormous pair did my eyes never

behold, nor of a worfe colour, flagging-

fot,

~~ *
Be

ae

Woman of Pleajure. 65
foft, and moft lovingly contiguous: yet
fuch as they were, this neck-beef-eacer
feemed to paw them with a moft unenvi-
able guft, feeking in vain to confine or
cover one of them with a hand fearce lefs
than a fhoulder of mutton: after toying
‘with them thus fome-time, as if they
had been worth it, he laid her down
pretty brifkly, and canting up her petty-
coats, made barely a mafk of chem to her
broad red face, that blufh’d with nothing
but brandy.

As he ftood on one fide for a mi-
nute or fo, unbuttoning his wafte-coat,
and breeches, her fat brawny thighs
hung down, and the whole greafy
landfkip lay fairly open to my view:
a wide open-mouth’d gap, overfhad-
ed with a grizzly bufh, f{eemed held
out like a beggar’s wallet for its’ pro-
vifion.

But I-foon had my eyes called off by
a more ftriking object, that entirely en-
grofs’d them.

Her

66 Memoirs of a
Her fturdy ftallion had now unbut-
ton’d, and produced naked, ftiff, and
erect, that wonderful machine, which I.
had never feen before, and which, for the
intereft_ my own feat of pleafure began to
take furioufly in it, I ftar’d at with all
the eyes I had: however my _ fenfes
were too much flurried, too much con-
center’d in that now burning fpot of
‘Mine, to obferve any thing more than
In general the make and turn of that
inftrument, from which the inftinét of
Mature, yet more than all I had heard of
it, now ftrongly informed me, I was to
expect that fupreme pleafure which fhe
has placed in the meeting of thofe parts
fo admirably fitted for each other,
_ Long, however, the young fpark did
not remain, before, giving ic two or
three fhakes, by way of brandifhing it,
he threw himfelf upon her, and his back
being now towards me, I could only
take his being ingulph’d for granted,
by the direGtion he mov’d in, and the
impoffibility of miffing fo ftaring a
mark ;

Wotan of Pleafure. 67
mark ; and now the bed fhook, -the
curtains rattled fo, that I could {fcarce
hear the fighs, and murmurs, the heaves,
and pantings that accompanied the action,
from the beginning to the end; the
found and fight of which thrill’d to the
very foul of me, and made every vein
of my body circulate liquid fires: the
emotion grew fo violent that ic almoft
intercepted my refpiration.

Prepared then, and difpofed a as I. was
by the difcourfe of my companions,
and Phabe’s minute detail of every thing,
no wonder that fuch a fight gave the
laft dying blow to my native inno-
cence,

Whilft they were in the heat of the
action, guided by nature only, I ftole
my hand up’ my petty-coat, and with
fingers all on fire, feized, and yet more
inflamed that center of all my fenfes ;
my heart palpitated, as if it would force
its way through my bofom : I breath'’d
with pain : I twifted my thighs, {queez.-
ed, and comprefs’d the lips of that vir-

gin-

68 Memvirs of as

gin-flit, and Féllowing mechanically the
example of Phaebe’s manual operation on
it, as far as I could find admiffion,
brought on at laft the critical extafy, the
melting flow, into which nature, {pent
with excefs of pleafure, diffolves and dies
. away. .

After which my fenfes recover’d cool-
nefs enough to obferve the reft of the
tranfaction between this happy pair.

The young fellow had juft difmount-
td, when the old tady immediately
{prung up, with all the vigour of youth,
derived no doubt from her late refrefh-
ment, and making him fit down, began
in her curn to kifs him, to pat and pinch
his cheeks, and play with his hair, all
which he receiv’d with an air of indiffe-
rence, and coolnefs, that fhowed him to
~ me much altered from what he was when
he firft went on to the breach.

My pious governefs, however, not

being abeve calling in auxiliaries, un-

locks a little cafe of cordials that ftood
near the bed, and made him pledge her

in

| Woman of Pleafure. 69

in a very plentiful dram : after which,
and a little amorous parley, madam. fat
herfelf down upon the fame place at the
bed’s foot; and the young fellow ftand-
ing fideways by her, fhe, with the great-
eft effrontery imaginable, unbuttons his
breeches, and removing his fhirt, draws
out his affair, fo fhrunk and. diminifh’d
that I could not but remember the dif-
ference, now. creft-fallep, or juf faintly.
— lifting its head: but our experinc’d
matron very foon, by chafing ic with her
hands, brought it to {well to that fize

to. ,

I admired then, upon a frefh account,
and with a nicer furvey, the texture of
that capital part of man: the flaming
red head as it ftood uncapt, the white-
nefs of the fhaft, and the fhrub-growth
of curling hair that embrowned the roots
of it, the roundifh bag that dangled
down from it, all exaéted my eager at-
tention, and renewed my flame; but: as
the main-affair was now at the point -the

ine

and erection I had before feen it up

70: Memoirs of a

induftrious dame had laboured to bring
— itto, fhe was not in the humour to put
off the payment of her pains, but laying
herfelf down, drewhim gently upon her,
and thus they finifh’d, inthe fame man-
ner as before, the old laft act.

_ This over, they both went out-loving-

ly together, the- old lady having firft .

made him.a prefent, as near as I could ob-
ferve, of three or four pieces; he being
not only her’ particular: favourite on the
account of his performances, but a re-
tainer tothe houfe, from whofe fight fhe
had taken great care hither to fecret
me, left he might not have had pa-
tience to wait for my lord’s arrival, but
have infifted on being his tafter, which
the old lady. was under. too much fub-
jection to him to dare difpute with him ;
for every girl of the houfe fell. to him in
courfe, and the old lady only now and
then got her turn, in confideration of the
maintenance he had, and which he could
{carce be accufed of not earning, from
her,

As

.
a eee ee LOIN ATT = g

Woman of Pleafure. 71

As‘ foon as I heard them go down
ftairs, I ftole up foftly to my own room, -
out of which I had been luckily not mift,
There I began to breath a little freer,
and to give a loofe to thofe warm emo-
tions which the fight of fuch an encoun-
ter had rais’d in rhe. I laid mé down
onthe bed ftretch’d myfelf out, joining, ©
and ardently wifhing, and requiring any
means to divert or allay the rekindl’d
rage and tumult of my defires, which
all pointed ftrongly to their pole, man.
I felt about the bed, as if I fought for
fomething that I grafp’d in my waking
dream, and not finding it, could have
cried for vexation, every part of me
glowing with ftimulating fires. Ac length,
I reforted to the only prefent remedy,
that of vain attempts at digitation, where
the {mallnefS of che theater, did not yet
afford room enough for action, and where
the pain my fingers gave me, in ftriving
for admiffion, though they procur’d me
a flight fatisfattion for the prefent, ftart-
ed an apprehenfion, which I could not
be

2 Memetrs of «
be eafy cll I had communicated te
Phebe, and received her explanations
upon it.

The opportunity however did not of-
fer till next morning, for Phebe did not
come to bed till long after I was gone
to fleep : as foon then, as. we were both
awake, it was but in courfe to bring our
ly-a-bed chat to land on the fubjeé&t of
my uneafinefs: to which a recital of the

love -fcene, I had thus, by a chance been.

fpectatrefs of, ferved fora preface.

’ Phebe could not hear it, to the end
without more than one interruption by
peals of laughter, and my ingenuous way
of relating matters did not a little heigh-
ten the joke to her. -

But on her founding me haw the fight
had affected me : without mincing or hiding
the pleafurable emotions ithad infpir’d me.
with, I told her at the fame time that one
remark had perplex’d me, and that: very
confiderably: ‘* Ay! fays fhe, what
«© was thac?” why, replied I, having
very curioufly and attentively compared

the

eet SE ret te eagle ae

= ee ee

Woman of Prafure. 73
the fize of chat enormous machine, which
did not appear, at leaft to my fearful
imagination, lefs than my wrift, and at

Jeaft three of my handfuls long, to that

of the tender, fmall part of me which
was framed to receive it, I could not

conceive its being ‘poffible to afford it

entrafice there, without dying, pérhaps
in the greateft pain, fince -fhe well
knew that even a finger thruft -in there,
hurt ‘me beyond bearing: - --+---
as to my miftrefs’s and your’s --- -
-ee-- ican very plainly diftinguifh

the different dimenfions of them from
‘fmine, palpable to the touch, and vifible
tb the eye, fo that in fhort, great. as
‘the promifed pleafure may “be, I

am afraid of the pain of the experi-

Yrrent.

_ Phebe at this redoubl’d ther laugh,
and, whilft I expected a very ‘ferious
folution of my doubts and apprelenfions

im this matter, only told me that fhe |
‘never heard of a mortal wound being ©
given in thofe patts,. by that terrible

Vor I, D weapon >

74 ._ Memoirs of a”
weapon, and that fome fhe knew
younger, and as delicately made as my-
felf, had outlived the operation, that fhe
believed, at the worft, I would take a
great deal of killing: -- - - - ‘that true
it.was, there was a great diverfity of
fizes in thofe parts, Owing to nature
child-bearing, frequent over-ftretching
with unmerciful machines; but that at
a certain age, and habit of body, even
the -moft -experienc’d in thofe affairs
could- not well diftinguifh between the
maid, and the woman, fuppofing too an
abfence of all artifice, and. things in
their natural fituation: buc that. fince
chance had thrown in my way one fight
of that fort, fhe would procure me.an-
other, that fhould feaft my eyes more
delicately, and go a great way in the
cure of my fears from that imaginary
difproportion, ee
On this the afked. me if I knew
Polly Philips.. Undoubtedly, fays’ I,
the fair girl which was fo tender of me
-when I was .fick, and has been, as you
: | : _ told

Woman.of Pleafure. 75
told me, but two months in the houfe?
che fame fays Phebe, You mutt know
then, fhe is kept by a young Genoe/e mer-
chant, whom his uncle, who ts immenfe-
ly rich, and whofe.darling he is, {ent oyer
herewith an Engiifb merchant his friend,
on a: pretext of fettling fome accounis,
- but in reality to humour his inclinations
for travelling, and feeing the world. He
metcafually. with this Polly once in com-,
pany, and taking a likipg to her, makes.
it worth her-while to keep entirely tohim :
he comes to her here twice ar thrice a’
week, and fhe receives him in the light
clofet up one pair-of ftairs, where he en-
Joys her in a.tafte 1 fuppofe peculiar to’

the. heat, . or perhaps the caprices of his’
own country. I fay no more ; but to-
morrow being his day, you fhall fee what
pafies between them, from a place only
known-to your miftrefs, and myfelf..

— You may be fure, in the ply I was
now taking, I had no objection to the
propofal, and was rather a tiptoe for its
accomplifhment, .
: D2 “Ac

76 Memoirs of a
At five in the evening then, next day,
Phebe, punctual to her promife, came to
meas I fat alone in my own room, and
beckon’d me to follow her. |
- ‘We went down the back-ftairs very
foftly, and opering'the door of a ‘dark
clofet, where there was fome old farni-

ture kept, and fome cafes of liquors, fhe ©

drew me in after her, and faftening the
door upon us, we had no light bat what
came thtough a long crevice in the par-
tition between ours, and the light clofet,

where the fcene of ation lay : fo thar fit-

ting on thofe low cafes, we could, with
the greateft eafe, as well as: clearnefs, fee

all objects, (ourfelves unfeen) only ‘by ap-

plying our eyes clofe ‘to the crevice,
where the moulding of a pannel had
warp’d, or ftarted .a little on the other
fide, oo 7
The young gentleman was the firft
perfon I faw, with his ‘back ditettly to-
wards me, looking at a print. Polly was
not yet come, In Iefs than a minute

tho’, the door opened, and fhe came
- in

i geen NPE Se 9 ee

Woman of Pleefure. + _ 72
in, .and ae the noife the . door made,
be turned about, and came to meet her,
_ with an air of the.greateft tendernefs and

fatisfa¢tion.
After faluting her, he led her to a
couch that fronted ys, where they both
fat. dawn, and. the young Genoefe help’d
her to a glafs of wine, with fome Na-
ples bikes. on, a falver. |
. Prefently, when they. had exchanged
a few kiffles, and quettions in broken Eng-
lif on one fide, he began to: unbutton,
aad, in fine, ftrips into. his fhirt.’ “ |
Asif this had been the fignal agreed
on for pulling off all their cloaths, a
pda which the heat of the feafon per-
ixftly faveured, Poly began. ta draw her
pins, and as fe bad no. ftays, to unlace,
fhe was in a trice, with her gallant’s of-
ficious affiftance, undrefs’d to all but her

fhife. |
When he faw this, his breeches were
immediately loofen’d, waift, and knee-
banils, and” flipe over; his ancles —
iran off: his fhirt collar was unbut-
D 3 ton’d .

78 'Memotrs of a-

toned too : then firft giving Polly an en-

couraging kifs, he ftole as it were the
fhitt off the girl, who being I fuppofe
broke and familiariz’d to this humour,
blufh’d indeed, but lefs than I did, ‘ar
the apparition of her now ftanding ftark~
‘naked, juft as fhe came out of the hands
of pure nature, with her black hair loofes

and a-float down her dazling white neck.

and fhoulders, whilft the deepen’d carna-

tion of her cheeks went off gradually into

the hue of glaz’d fnow 3. for fuch were-
the blended tints, and polifh of her. fkin.:
This girl could not be abové eighteen:
Her face regular and fweet-featur’d, her:
fhape exquilite, nor could I help envying
her two ripe enchanting breafts, finely
plump’d out in‘ flefh, “but withal. fo
round, fo firm, that they faftain’d them-
felves, in fcorn of any ftay: then their
nipples pointing different ways mark’d
their pleafing feparation: beneath them
lay the delicious tract of the ‘belly, . which:
terminated in ‘a parting or rift fcarcedif-
cernable, that modefily feem’d to retire.
down-

ee ee

Woman of Pleafire. 79
. downwards, and feek fhelter between two
plump flefhy thighs: the curling hair
that overfpread its 5 delightful front, cloath-

ed it with the richeft fable fur in the -uni-

verfe: in fhort, fhe was. evidently a fub-
ject for the painters to court her fitting to
them fora pattern of female beauty, in
all the true: pace and pomp oe naked-
nefs,
- The young. Italian (ill in his fhirt) |
ftood gazing, and tranfported:at the fight
of beauties that might have fir'd a dying
hermit: his eager eyes devoui'’d hier, as
She fhifted attitudes at his difcretion: . nei-
ther were his hands excluded their fhare
Of the high feaft ; but wander’d , on the
hunt of pleafure, . over every. part,
and inch of her body fo qualified to afford
the moft exquifite fenfe of it.
_ Ip the mean time, one could not help
obferving the fwell of his fhirt before,
that bolfter’d out, and pointed out the
condition of things behind the curtain:
but he foon remov’d it, by flipping _ his
fhirt over his head; and now, as to
D 4 naked-

$0 . Memoirs of a
nakednefs, they had nothing te repreash
one another,

The young gentleman, by Phabe’s
guefs, was about two and twenty: tall
and well limb’d. His body was finely
form’d, and of a moft vigorous make,
fgquare fhoulder’d, and broad-chefted.
His face was not remarkable any way,
but for a nofe inclining to the Romam,
eyes large, black, and fparkling, anda
ruddinefs in his cheeks that was the more
a grace for his complexion being of the
browneft, pot of that. dufky dun colour
which excludes the idea of frefhnefs, but
of that clear, olive glofs, which glowing
with Jife, dazzles. perhaps lefs than fairnefs,

and yet pleafes more, when it pleafes at _

ajl. His hair being too fhort to tie, fell
no lower than his neck, in fhore eafy
curls: and he had a few fprigs about his
paps, that garnifh’d his cheft in a ftile
of ftrength and manlinefs, Then his
grand movement, which feem’d to rife
out of a thicket. of. curling hair that
fpread from the root, all round his

thighs

Woman of Pleafure. 8
thighs and belly up to the navel, ftood
ftiff, and upright, but of a fize to frigh-
ten me, by fympathy, for the {mall ten-
der part, which was the objeét of it’s fu-
Fy, and which now Jay expos’d ta my
faireft view: for he had immediately, on
friping off his fhirt, gently pufh’d her
down on the couch, which ftqgod canve-
niently to break her willing fall. Her
thighs were {pread gut to their utmoft
extenfion, and difcavered between them
the mark of the fex, the red-center’d
cleft of Beth, whofe lips vermillioning in-
wards, expreft @ {mall rubid line in {weet
miniature, fuch as not Gwido’s touch or
colouring could ever attain tq the life,
or delicacy of:

Phebe, at this, gave me a gentle jog,
to prepare me for a whifper’d queftion,
“ whether } thought my Little maidens
—& oy was much }efs °” but my attention
was too much engrofs’d, too much en-

wrap’d with all 1 faw, to be able to er
her any aniwer. .

_ _ Ds oe 4 By

82 - Memoirs of a... |
By this time, the young gentleman
had changed her pofture from lying

breadth to length-wife on the couch: but.

her thighs were ftill fpread,: and the mark
lay fair for him, who now-kneeling be-
tween them, difplay’d to us .a fide-view
of that fierce-ereét. machine of his, which
-threaten‘d no lefs than fplitting the tender
victim, -who. lay. fmiling at-the. uplifted
ftroke, nor feem’d to decline. it. He
ook’d upon his weapon himfelf with
fome pleafure, and guiding it with his
hand to'the inviting flic, drew afide the
lips, and-lodg’d ic (aftet fome’ thrufts,
which Polly feem’d even to affift) about
half way; but there it. ftuck, .I -fuppofe,
from its growing thicknefs: he draws ic.
again, and juft wetting it with fpitcle, re-
enters, and with eafe fheath’d it now, Up.
to the hilt, at which Polly gave a deep:
figh, which was quite in another tone
than.one of pain; he thrufts, fhe heaves,
at frft gently, and ina regular cadence,
but prefently the tranfport-began tobe too.
violent to obferve any order. or meafure,
~ moos their

: 1
ee een

Woman of Pleafure. 8¢
their motions were too rapid, their kiffes
too fierce, and fervent, for nature to fup-
port fuch fury long: both feem’d to me
outof themfelves, theireyes darted fires 5
s Oh! Oh! I can’t bear it ——>
ss ___. It is too much, —— I die.—
< —_.—-— Tama going > were
Polly’s expreffions of extafy sx his. , joys
were more filenc ; but foon broken mur-
murs, fighs heart-fetch’d, and at length
a difpatching thruft, as if he would have
forced himfelf up her body, and then the
motionlefs langour of all, his limbs, all
fhowed that the die-away moment was
come upon him, which fhe gave figns of
joining with, by the wild throwing of her
hands about, clofing her.eyes, and giving
a deep fob, in which the isthe to xplte
in an agony of biifs. .

When. he had finifh’d his at and
got from -off her, fhe lay, ftill with-
out the, leaft . motion, breathlefs, as it
fhould f{eem, with pleafure , He replaced
her again breadthwife on the couch, un-
able.to fit up, with her thighs open, be-
Cas tween

84 * Memoirs ofa
tween which I. could obferve a kind of
white liquid, like froth, hanging about
“the outward lips of that recent epened
wound, whichnew glowed with a deeper
red. Prefently fhe gets up; and throw-
Ing her arms round him, feemed far from
undelighted with the trial he had pute her
to, to jucge. at leaft by the fondnefs with
male fhe ey’d, and hung upon him.
‘For my part, I- will not pretend to de-
fcribe what F felt all over me, during this
feene ;: bue from: that. inftant, adieu all
fears of what man could do unto me?

they were now changed into fuch ardent

defires, fuck ungovernable longings, thae
¥ could have pull'd the firft.of that: fex
that fhoutd prefent himfelf, by the fleeve,
and offered him the bauble, which I now
imagin’d the lofs of would be a gain }
Could not teo foon procure myfelf, |
Phabe, who had: more experience, and
to whom fuch fights were not fo new,
could not however be unmov’d at. fo

warns afcere, and drawing me away

foftly from the peep-hele, for fear of
being

Baad

|

Woman of Phafure. &¢
being over-heard, guided me as near. the
door as poffible ; all pallives ae obedient

_ to her kaft fignals.,

Here was no room either to. fit, or: ke
but making me ftand with my back to-
wards the door, fhe lifted up my petti-
coats, and with her bufy fingers fell to
vifit, and explore that part of me, where
now the heat, and irritations were ‘fo vio- -
lent, that I was perfectly fiek and ready

“¢o die with defire: that the bare touch

of her finger in that eritieal place, -had
the effect of fire to a tratn, and her hand
inftantly made her fenfible to what a pitch
t was wound up, and melted bythe fight
fhe had thus procured me: fatisied ther
with her fuccefs, -in allaying a heat that
would have made me impatient of feeing
the continuation’ of tranfactions between
our amorous couple, fhe brought me a-
gain to the ae fo aeveuaee to ‘our
curiofity. :

We had certainly been but a few in-
ftlants away from it, and yet on our
return we faw every thing in good: for-

wardnefs

86 _ Memoirs of 4
wardnefs for recommencing the tender:
hoftilities.

The young foreigner was fitting downs
fronting us, on thecouch,; ,with Polly up-
op.one knee, who had her arms round
his neck, whilft the extreme whitenef$ of
her fkin was not undelightfully contrafted

by the fmooth _ brown: of her -

lover’s. .

. But who ‘could count the fierce, un-
number’d kiffes given and taken? in
which I could often difcover their ex-
changing the velvet thruft, when both

their mouths were doyble-tongu’d, and -

{eem’d to favour the mutual infertion with
the greateft guft and delight. se 3

_ In the mean time, his red- headed
champion that had fo ‘lately. fled the pit,
quell’d, and abath’d, was now recover’d
to the top of its condition, perk’d, and,
crefted, up. between, Polly's thighs, . who,
was not wanting on her part to coax
and keep itin good humour, ftroaking it
with her head down, and receiv’d even its
Velvet tip.between the lips of not its pro-

per -

—_—_———_ —_

-- sP-een- _».

a—

» sere SS gh

Woman of Pleafure. 87
per mouth, whether fhe did this. out of
any particular pleafure, Sor whether it was
to render it more glib, andeafy of en-:
trance, I could not tell’; . but it had foch.
an: effect, that the young gentleman, feem’d
by his eyes,.that fparkled with more ex-1
cited luftre, and his inflamed countenance, |
to receive encreafe of pleafure. Fle got up,
and taking Polly. in . his: arms embraced
her, and faid: forriething: too foftly for me.
to hear, leading. her withal. to. the. foot: of
the couch, .and taking delight to flap her:
thighs, ‘and pofterigurs with that ftiff fin-
new of. his, which hit.chemywith a {pring, °
that: he gave it with his hand, and made.
them refound again, but hurt her about asi
_much:as -he. meant to hurt. her, for fhe
feem’d to have as frolick a tafteas himfelf..

But, guefs my furprile, when I faw.
the lazy- young -rogee: Iter down: om his
back, and gently pull down Polly upon!
him, who. giving. way (to his humour,:
{traddiéd, and with her hands conducted °
her blind favourite to the right place, and»
following her impulfe; ram direédy wpon:

: er the

8 8 «= Memoirs of a -

the flaming point of this weapon of plea-
fare, which fhe ftak’d herfelf upon, up-
pierc’d, and infix’dto the extremeft_ hair~
breadth of it : thus fhe fat on him, afew
inftants, enjoying, and relifhing her fi-
tuation, whilft he toyed with her provok-
ing breafts, —-——. Sometimes fhe would
ftoep. to mect his kifs: bue prefently the
fting of pleafure fpurr’d them.up to fiercer
attion : then began the ftarm of heaves,
which, from the undermoft combatant,
were thrufts at the fame time : he croffing
his hands over her, and drawing her
home ro him with a {weet violence : the
inverted ftrokes: of anvil over hammer
feon brought on tbe critical petiod, in
which all the figns of a clofe confpiring

extafy, nee us.of the point hey were.
at.
For me, I couhl ees to Ge no ture |

Iwas: fo avercome, fo inflamed at this
fecond part of the fame play, that, mad
with intolerable defire, [I hugg’d, |

clafp’d Phebe, a3 it fhe had had where-;
withal to relieve: me: pleafed however
| with,»

a a a ee ee ened ne ag ae TO CaP DEAS TIE

Woman of Pleafure. 89
with, and pitying the taking fhe could
feel me in, the drew me.towards the door
and opening it as foftly as the could, we
both got off undifcover’d, and fhe recon-
ducted me to my own room, where un-
able to keep my legs, in the agitation, I
was, in, I inftantly threw myfelf down, on
the bed, where I Jay tranfported, the’
fhane’d. at, what I felt.

Phebe lay down by. me, and afked me
archly, if now that 1 had feen the eng-
my, and fully cqnfidered him, 1 was ftill
afraid of him? ar did I think I could
venture to come to a clofe engagement
‘with kim? = to all which not a word on
my fide: I figh*d, and could fearce
breath: She takes hold of my hand,
and having roll*d wp her own petticoats,
‘forced it. half-ftriyingly towards thofe
parts, where now grown more knowing,
I mift the main ebjeé&t of my withes ;
and finding not even the fhadow of
what I wanted, where every thing was fo
flat! or fo hallow! Inthe vexation [ was
‘in. at it, I thould liave withdrawn. my
7 | hand,

90 | Memoirs of a

hand, but for fear of difobliging her,
Abandoning it then entirely to her ma-
nagement, fhe made ufe of it as fhe
thought proper, to procure herfelf rather
the fhadow than the fubftance of any
pleafure. For my part, I now pin’d for
more folid food, and promis’d tacitly to
myfelf that I would not be put off much
longer with this foolery from woman to

_ woman, if Mrs. Brown did not foon pro- .

‘vide me with the effential fpecific: in
fhort I had all the air of not being able to

wait the arrigal af water laed. RR eh ad y

nam wane wreeav we we oaey aunts ae yy - CLI
he was now expected in a very few days:
nor did I wait for him, for love itfelf
took eharge of the difpofal of me, in
fpite of intereft, or grofs luft. ,

It was now two. days.after the clofet-

fcene, that I got up about fix in the.

morning, and leaving my bed-fellow faft
a-fleep, ftole down, with no other thought
than of taking a littlé frefh air in a {mall
garden, which our back-parlour open’d
into, and- from which my confinement
debarr'd me at. the times company came

, te

Woman ov Pleafure: ; 9%
to the houfe: but now Neep and filence
reign’d all over it. — ee ,

I open’d the parlour-door, ‘and well ,
furpriz’d was I, at feeing, by the fide of
a fire half out, a young gentleman in the
old lady’s elbow-chair, with his legs laid
upon another, faft a-fleep; and left there,
by his thoughtlefs companions, who -had
drank him down, and then went off with
every one his miftrefs, whilft he ftay’d
behind by the curtefy of the old matron,
who would not difturb, or turn him out
in that condition at one in the morning,
and beds, it is more than prouanie, t there
were NGiic £0 ipare: On the table {till re-
main’d the punch-bowl and glaffes, |
{trow’d about in their, ufual diforder after
a drunken revel.

_ But when I drew nearer to view the
fleeping eftray: Heavens | what a fight!
no! no term of years,. no turns of fortune
could ever eraze the sient Bie im-
preffion his form made on me. ers
Yes! deareft object of my earliett paffion;
I command for ever the remembrance of

thy

92 . Mempirs of a
thy fr appearance to, opy ravith’d eyes,
—— it calls thee up, prefent ; and I fee
thee now! : 3
Figure to yourfelf, Adadam, a fair
ftripling, between eighteen and nineteen,
with his head reclin’d on one of the fides
of the chair, his hair in diforder’d curls,
irregularly fhading a. face, on which all
the rofeate bloom of youth, and all the
manly graces confpired to fix my eyes

and heart. Even the languor, and pale- -

nefs of his face, in which the momentary
triumph of the lilly over the rofe, was
Owing to the exceffes of the night, gave
an inexpreffible 1wecas-/ (0 the fineft fea-

tures imaginable : his eyes clofed in fleep, ©
difplayed the meeting edges of. their lids

beautifully bordered with Jong eye-lafhes,
over which no pencil coyld have de-

{crib’d two more regular arches than

thofe that grac’d his fore-head, which
was high, perfectly white and fmooth ;
then a pair of vermillion lips, pouting,
and {welling to the touch, -as if a bee had
frefhly flung them, feem’d to challenge
) ee _ me

a me ee Oper ee

| sey furveying me, carried the fprigie

Woman of Pleafure. 98
me to get the gloves of this lovely
fleeper, ‘had not the modefty, and re-
fpeét, which in both fexes are infepara-
ble from a true paffion, check’d my ime
pulfes,

But on ‘feeing his fhirt collar umbuti

ton’d, and a-bofom whiter than a drift of
f{now, the pleafure of confidering it could
not bribe me to lengthén it at the hazard
Of a ‘health that began to be iny lif’s
concern: Love that madé ‘ie cithid,
taught me to be tender too: witha trem.
bling hand 4 took hold of one of his,

and waking ‘him as gently as poffible,

he ftarted, and looking at firft.a little
wikiy, faid, ‘with a voice that fent as
diarmonions fond t0 my heart: ** Pray,
* child, what a clock iste? Itold him :
land added, ‘thit he might catch cold, if
he flept longer wich his breaft open in the
ool of the mornmg air: On ‘this he
fhanked me, with a fweetnefs. pérfedtly
‘mgrecing with that of ‘his features and
eyes: the laft now broad open, and ea-

ly

94 Memoirs of a
ly fires they eee with direétly to By
heart.

‘Ie feems that having drank too ety
before he came upon the rake with, fome
of his young companions, he had put
himfelf out of a‘ condition to go through
all the weapons with them, and crowa
the night with ‘getting, a miftrefs, fo that
feeing me in a loofe undrefs,. he did not
doubt but I was one of the mifles ‘of the
houfe, fent in to. repair his, lofs of. umes
but though he feiz’d'. chat notion, and a
very obvious one it was, without hefitas
tion; yet, whether my. figure made a
inore. than: ordinary. impreffion. on him,
cor whether :it was his,natural_politenefs,
_ he adldreft-me in a: manner-far-frqm rude,
though ftill‘on the. foot of one ‘of the
‘hoife-pliers,: come: to amufe him; and
‘giving me the: firft kifs thac. I ever. re-
-lifh’dsfrom man in my life, afk’d me.if
‘I -could favour him: with my: cémpany,

‘affuring’mé that he would make. itiworth

my while: but had not évén new-born
doye, that true refiner of luft, oppos’d
: fo

= ane

| Woman of Pleafure. 95
fo fudden a furrender, the fear of being
furpriz’d by the houfe, was a futficienc
bar to my compliance.
_ I told him then, in a tone fet me e by
love itfelf, that for reafons I had ‘not
time to explain to him, I could not ftay
with him, and might not even ever fee
him again, with a figh at thefe laft words |
which broke from the bottom of my
heart. My conqueror, who, as he af-
terwards told me, had been ftruck with
my appearance, and lik’d me as much
as he could think of liking any one in
my fuppos’d way of life, afk’d me brifk-
ly at once, if I would be kept by him,
and that he would take a lodging for me
dire€tly, and relieve me from.any en-
gagements he pre{um’d I might be under
to the houfe. Rath, fudden, undigefted,
and even dangerous as this offer might be
from a perfect ftranger, and that ftranger
a giddy boy, the prodigious love I was
ftruck with for him, had put.a charm in-
to his voice there was no refifting, and
blinded. me ¢o every objection: - I could,

7 at

96 «= Memors off a -

at that inftant, have died ‘for him ; think;
if I could refift an invitation to live with
him! thus my heart beating ftrong to the
propofal, dictated my anfwer, after fcarce
a minute’s paufe, that I would accept of
his offer, and make my efcape to him,
in what way he pleafed, and that I would
be eritirely at his difpofal, let it be good
or bad. I have often fince wondered that
fo great an eafinefs did not difguft: ‘him,
or make’ me too cheap in his eyes; ‘but
my fate had fo appointed it, that,. in his
fears of the hazard of the town, he had

been fome time looking out for a girl co

take into keeping, and my perfon hap-
pening to hit his fancy, it was by one of
thofe miracles referv’d to love, that we
ftruck the bargain in the inftant, which
we fealed by an exchange of kiffes, that
the hopes of @ more’ uninterrupted enjoy-

“ent ‘engaged him to content himfelt

with. |
‘Never, however, did ren youth carry

in his perfon more wherewith to juftify

the turning of a girl’s head, and making

her.

-~

= Wee °-g* *
'

Woman of Pleafure. 97

her fet all conifequences at defiance, for

the fake of following a gallant.

For befides all the perfections of manly
beauty which were affembled in his form,
he had an air of neatnefs and gentility, a
Certain fmartnefs in the carriage and port
of hishead, that yet more diftinguifh’d

him ; his eyes were fprightly, and full of

meaning ; his looks had in them fome-.
thing at once fweet and commanding.
His complexion out-bloom’d the lovely-
colour’d rofe, whilft its inimitable tender
vivid glow, clearly fav’d it from the re-

' proach of wanting life, of raw and dough-

like, which is commonly made to thote
fo extremely fair as he.was. |

Our. little plan was, that I fhould get
out about feventhe next morning, (which
1 could readily promife, as I knew where

' to get the key of the ftreet-door) and he

would wait at the end of the ftreet witha
coach, to convey me fafe offs after
which he would fend and clear any debt

incurr’d by my ftay at Mrs. Brown's, who
" he only judg’d, in grofs, might | not care

Vor. I, E ta

98 Memoirs of a
¢o part with one, he thought, fo fit to
draw cuftom to the houfe,

I then juft hinted to him not to men-
tion inthe houfe his having feen fuch a
perfon as me, for reafons I would explain
to him more at leifure: and then,. for fear
of mifcarrying by being feen together, I
tore myfelf from him with a bleeding
heart, aud ftole up foftly to my room,
where I found Phwbe ftill faft afleep, and
hurrying off my few cloaths, lay down
by her, with a mixture of joy and
anxiety, that may be eafier conceived
than exprefs’d.

The rifks of Mrs. Brown’s difcovering
my purpofe, of difappcintments, mifery,
ruin, all vanifh’d before this new-kind?’d
' flame, The feeing, the touching, the
' being, if but for a night, with this idol
- Of my fond virgin-heart, appeared to me
a happinefs above the purchafe of my li-
berty or life. He might ufe me ill! Jee

him! he was the mafter! happy, too |

happy even to receive death at fo dear a
-~ hand,

To

ee 2

ew

Woman of Pleafure. - 99

To this purpofe were the reflexions of
the whole day, of which every minute
feem’d to mea little eternity, How of-
cen did I vific the clock? nay, was tempt-
ed to advance the tedious hand, as if that
would have advanc'd the time with it!
Had thofe of the houfe made the leaft
obfervations on me, they muft have re-
mark’d fomething extraordinary from the
difcompofure I could not help betraying :
efpecially when at dinner mention was
made of the charmingeft youth having
been there, and ftay’d breakfaft! Oh, he
was fuch a beauty ! I fhould have died
for him! they would pull caps for him!

-and the like fooleries, which however,

was throwing oil on a fire I was forely
put to icto {mother the blaze of.

The fluctuations of my mind, the whole
day, produc’d however one ‘good effect ;
which was, that through mere fatigue I
flept tolerably well till five in che morn-

ing, when I got up, and having drefs’d

myfelf, waited, under the double tortures
of fear and impatience, for the appointed
2 hour ;

‘100 Memoirs of a
hour: It-came at laft, the dear, -critical,
dangerous hour came ; and now fupported
only by che courage love lent me, | ven.
‘turd a tip-toe down ftairs, leaving my
box behind, for fear of being furpriz’d
with it in going out.
- [got to the ftreet-door, the key where-
‘oF was always laid. on the chair by our

bed-fide, in truf& with Pdebe, who hav-~ ;

ing not the leaft fufpicion of my enter-
taining any defign to go from them, (nor
indeed had [ but:the. day’before) made
‘no referve, or concealment of it from me
I open’d the door then with great eafe,
love that erpbolden’d, protected metoo:
~ and now, got fafe into the ftreet, I faw
_ my ‘new guardian-angel waiting:.at a
coach-door ready open : How FE got: to
him I know not : I fuppofe I: flew ; but
I was in the coach in a trice, and he by
- the fide of me, with his arms clafp’d
round me, and giving me:the kifs of
welcome. ——- The coachman had his or-
ders, and drove to them.

My

a

tne, oe.
Sa

OM OEE co

Woman of Pleafure. IOF:.

My eyes were inftantly fill’d with tears,
but tears of the moft delicious delight. To
find myfelf in the arms of that beayteous
youth, wasa rapture that my little heart
fwam in. Paft or future were equally
out of the. queftion with ne. The pre-
fent was’ as-much-as all my pewers.
of ‘life-were fufficient to bear the tranf{pore-
of without faintmg : Nor were the moft:

’ tender embraces, the moft foothing ex-

preffions wanting on his fide, to affure me
of: his-love, and of never giving. mecaufe
to-repent the:bold ftep I had.taken; in
throwing myfelf thus entirely upon his
honour and generofity : but, alas! this
was no merit in me, for I was drove to.
it by a paffion too impetuous for me to
refift, and I did what I did, beaaufe |
could not help it.

In an inftant, for time was now anni«
hilated with me, we were Janded at a
publick houfe in Chel/ea, hofpitably com-
modious for the reception of duet: parties.
of pleafure, where a breakfaft of choco-

late was prepared for us,
| E 3 An

302 Memoirs of a

An old jolly ftager who kept it, and
underftood life perfeétly well, breakfafted
with us, and leering archly at me, gave
us both joy, and faid, we were well
paired, e’faith! that a great many gentle-
men and ladies ufed his houfe, but he
he had never feen a handfomer couple 3
He was fure I was a frefh
piece I look’d fo country, fo
innocent! well, my fpoufe was a lucky
man! ——— all which common _land-
lord’s cant, not only pleas’d and footh’d
me, but help’d to divere my confufton at
being with my new fovereign, whom,
now the minute approach’d, I began to
fear to be alone with, a timidity which
true love had a greater fhare in, thaneven
maiden. bafhfulnefs.

I wifh’d, I doated, I could have died for

him, and yet I know not how, or why,

I dreaded the point which had been the
object of my fierceft wifhes ; my pulfes
beat fears, amidft a flufh ef the warmeft
defires : this ftruggle of the paffions, how-
ever, this conflict betwixt modefty and

love.

Ss mee a ee > ee A eo ee ae remnen e - -

Woman of Pleafure. 103

love-fick longings, made me burft again
into tears, which he took as he had done °
before, only for the remains of concern
and emotion at the fuddennefs of my’
change of condition, in committing my-—
felf to his care, and in confequence of
that idea, did, and faid, all that he:
thought would moft comfort and re- in-
{pirit me. |
After breakfaft, Charles, the dear fa-
miliar name I mutt take the liberty hence- -
forward to diftinguifh my Adonis by,’
with a fmile full of meaning, took me
gently by the hand, and faid, <¢ Come,
*¢ my dear, and I will fhow you a room’
«< chat commandsa fine profpeét over fome —
‘¢ pardens:”? and without waiting for an
anfwer, in which he relieved me extreme.
Jy, he led me up into a chamber airy
and lightfome, where all feeing of pro-
fpects was out of the queftion, except that.
of a bed, which had all the air of having
recommended the room to him,

Charles had juft -fitpp’d the bolt of

_ the door, and running, caught me in his

E 4 arms,

104 | Memorsofa
arms, and lifting me from the ground,
with his lips glew’d to mine, bore me

trembiing, panting, dying with foft fears, |

and tender wifhes, to the bed; where his

impatience would not fuffer him to un-_

drefs me more than juft unpinning my

handkerchief, and gown, and unlacing ©

my ftays.

My bofom was now hare, and rifing

in the warmeft throbs, prefented to his

fight and feeling the firm hard-fwell of a
pair of young breafts, fuch as may be
imagin’d of a girl not fixteen, frefh out

of the country, and never before hand-
Jed 3 but even their pride, whitenefs,

fathion, pleafing refiftance to the touchy
could not bribe his reftlefs hands from.

roving, but giving them the loofe, my
petty-coats and fhift were foon taken up,

and their ftronger center of attraction laid
open to their tender invafion: my fears

however made me mechanically clofe my
thighs; but the very touch of his hand

infinuated between them, difclofed them, -

and open’d a way for the main-attack,
In

Woman of Phafure. 105
In the mean time I lay fairly expofed
to the examination of his eyes, and hands,
quiet and unrelfifting, which confirm’d
him in the opinion he proceeded fo ca-
valierly upon, thac I was no novice in
thefe matters, fince he had taken me out
_ of a common bawdy-houfe: nor had [
faid one thing to prepoffefs him of my
virginity ; and if I had, he would fooner
have believ’d that I took him for a cully
that would {wallow fuch an improbabili-
ty, than thae I was ftill miftrefs of that
darling treafure, that hidden mine, fo ea-
gerly fought after by the men, and which
they never dig for but they deftroy.
_ Being now too high wound up to bear -
adelay, he unbutton’d, and drawing
out the engine of Jove-affaults, drove it
currently, as at a ready-made breach:
then! then! ‘for the firft cime did I feel that
Riff horn-hard griftle, battering againft
the tender part; but imagine to yourfelf
his furprize, when he found, after feveral
vigorous pufhes, which hurt me extremely,
that he ‘made not the leaft impreffion,
E 5 I com-

106 Memuars of a
Icomplain’d, but tenderly complain’d ;

“ JT could not bear it————” In-.

deed ! he hurt me — ftill he thought
no more than that being fo young, the

largenefs of his machine (for few men.

could difpute fize with him) made allthe
difficulty, and that poffibly I had not
been enjoy’d by any fo advantageoufly
made in that part as himfelf; for ftill,
that my virgin-flower was yet uncrop’d
never once enter’d into his head, and he
would have thought it idling with time
and words to have queftion’d me upon
it.

He tries again; ftill no admittance s
ftill no penetration ; but he had hurt me
yet more, whilft my extreme love made
me bear extreme pain almoft without a
groan: at length, after repeated fruitlefs
trials, he lay down panting by me, kifs’d
my falling tears, and afk’d me tenderly,
‘what was the meaning of fo much com-
plaining, and if I had noe born it better
from others than I did from him? I an-
fwer’d with a fimplicity fram’d to per-

| f{wade,

Woman of Pleafure. 107

fwade, that he was the firft man that ever
ferv’d me fo; truth is powerful, and it
is not always that we do not believe what
we eagerly with.

Charles already difpos’d by the evi-
dence of his fenfes to think my pretences —
to virginity notentirely apocryphal, {mo-
thers me with kiffes, begs me, in the
name of love, to have a little patience,
and that he will be as tender of hurting
me, as he would be of himfelf.

Alafs! it was enough I knew his plea-
fure, to fubmit joyfully to him, whatever
pain | forefaw it would coft me.

He now refumes his attempts in more
form: firft he put one of the pillows un-
der me, to give the blank of his aim a
more favourable elevation, and another
under my head, ineale of it: then fpread-
ing my thighs, and placing himfelf ftand-
ing between them, made them reft upon
his hips: applying then the point of his
machine to the flit, into which he fought
entrance 5 it was fo {mal]], he could {carce
alfure himfelf of it’s being rightly pointed :

He

108 Memoirs gf a

He looks, he feels, and fatisfies him-
felf; then driving forward with fury, its
prodigious ftiffnefs thus impacted, wedge-
like, .breaksthe union of thofe parts, and
gain’d him juft the infertion of the tip of
ir, lip- deep 3. which being fenfible of, he

improves his advantage, and following °

well his ftroke, in a ftrait line, forcibly
deepens his - penetration 5 but pu me to
fuch intolerable pain, from the feparation
of the fides of chat foft paffage by a hard
thick body, I could have fkream’d out;
but unwilling as ] wasto alarm the houfe,
J held in my breath, and cram’d my
petticoat (which was turn’d up over my
face) into my mouth, and bit it chrough in
the agony. At length, the tender tex-
ture of thar tract giving way to fuch fierce
tearing and rending, he pierc’d fomething
further into me: and now, outrageous,
and no longer his own matter, but born
head-long away by. the fury and over-
mettle of that member, now exerting it-
felf with a kind of native rage, .he breaks
in, carries all before him, and one violent

merci-

Womak of Pleafure. | 109
mercilefs lunge, fent it, imbrew’d, and
reeking with virgin blood; up to the ve-
ry hilts in me: then! then! all my refo-
lution deferted me: I fkream’d out, and
fainted away with the fharpnefs of the
pain 5 and (as he told me afterwards) on
his drawing out, when emiffion was over
with him, my thighs were inftantly all
in a ftream of blood, that flow’d from the
wounded torn paflage.

When f recover’d my fenfes, 1 fourid
myfelf undrefs’d, and a-bed, in the arms
of the fweet relenting murderer of my
Virginity, who hung mourning tenderly
over me, and holding in his hands acor-
dial, which coming from the ftill. dear
my eyes, however moiften’d with a.
and languifhingly turn’d upon him, feem’d
to reproach him with his cruelty, and
afk him if fuch were the rewards of love?
but Charles, to whom I was now infinite-
ly endear’d by his compleat triumph over
‘a maidenhead, where he fo little expected
to find one, in tendernefs to that pain

which

IO Memoirs of a

which he had put me to, in procuring
himfelf the height of pleafure, {mother’d
his exultation, and employ’d himfelf with
fo much fweetnefs, fo much warmth, to
footh, to carefs, and comfort me in my

foft complainings, that breath’d indeed |

more love than refentment, that I pre-
fently drown’d all fenfe of pain in the
pleafure of feeing him, of thinking that
I belong’d to him, he who now was the
abfolute difpofer of my happinefs, and in
one word, my fate,

The fore was however too tender, the
wound too bleeding freth, for Charles’s
-good-nature to put my patience prefently
to another tryal ; but as I could not ftir
or walk a-crofs the room, he order’d the
dinner to be brought to the bed- fide,
where it could not be otherwife than my
getting down the wing of a fowl, and
two or three glaffes of wine, fince it was
my ador’d youth who both ferv’d, and
urged them on me, with that {weet irre-
fiftible authority with which love had
invefted him over me,

After .

Woman of Pleafure. = xxx

After dinner, and every thing but the
wine was taken away, Charles very im-
pudently afks a leave, he might read the
grant of in my eyes, to come to-bed to
me, and accordingly falls to.undreffing ,
which I could not fee the progrefs of,
without ftrange emotions of fear and plea-
{ure. |

He is now in bed with me the firft
time, andin broad day ; but when thruft-
ing up his own fhirt, and my fhift, he
laid his naked glowing body to mine; --
- -- Oh infupportable delight! oh fu-
perhumane rapture! -what pain could
ftand before a pleafure fo tranfporting ?
I fele no more the fmart of my wounds
below ; but curling round him like the
tendril of a vine, as if I fear’d any pare
of him fhould be untouch’d or unprefs’d
by me; I return’d his ftrenuous embraces
and kiffes with a fervour and guft only
known to true iove, and which mere luft
could never rifeto.

Yes even at this time, that all the
tiranny of the paffions is fully over, and

that

112 Memvirs of @
that my veins roll no longer but a cold
tranquil ftream, the remembrance of thofe
_ paffages that moft affeéted me in my
youth, ftill chears, and refrefhes me: Let
me proceed then———my beauteous youth
was now glew’d to me in all the folds
and twifts that we could make our bodies
meet in: when no longer able to rein in:
the fiercenefs of refrefh’d defires, he gives
his fteed the head, ard gently infisuating
his thighs between mine, ftopping my
mouth with kiffes of humid fire, makes
a frefhirruption, and renewing his thrufts,
pierces, tears, and forces his way up the
torn tender folds of the fheath, that
yielded him admifion With a {mart little
lefs fevere than when the breach was firft
made: I ftiffled however my cries, and
bore him with the paffive fortitude of an
heroine: foon his thrufts more and more
furious, cheeks flufh’d with a déeper
fearlet, his ‘eyes turn’dup in the fervent fit,
and rolling nothing buttheir whites, - fome
dying fighs, and an agonizing fhudder,
announced the approaches of that extatic
plea-

Woman of Pheafure. 113
pleafure, I was yet in too much pain, to
come in for my fhare of.

Nor was it till after a few enjoyments

ad numb’d and blunted the fenfe of the

fmart, and giving me to feel the titillac-
ing infperfion of balfamic {weets, drew
from me the delicious return, and brought
down all my paffion, that I arriv'd at €X-
cefs of pleafure, through excefs of pain
but when fucceffive engagements had
broke and inur’d me, I began to enter’
into the true unallay’d relifh of that plea-_
fare of pleafures, when the warm gufh
darts through all the ravifh’d inwards 3
what floods of blifs! what melting tran-
fports ! what agonies of delight! too
fierce, too mighty for nature to fuftaia ;
well has fhe therefore, no doubr, provid-
ed the relief of a delicious momentary dif-
folution, , the “approaches of which are in=
timated by a dear delirium, a ‘fweet thrill,
on the point of emitting thofe liquid
fweets in which enjoyment icfelf is
drown’d, when one gives the Janguifhing:
ftretch-out, and dies at the difcharge.
' How

14 Memoirs of a
How often, when the rage and tumult
of my fenfes has fubfided after the melting
flow, have I, in a tender meditation,
afk’d myfelf coolly the queftion, if it
was in nature for any of its creatures to be
fohappy as I was? or, what were all the
fears of my future fate, put in the fecale
of one night’s enjoyment of any thing fo
tranfcendently the tafte of my eyes, and
heart, as that delicious, fond, matchlefs
youth
Thus we fpent the whole afternoon,
till fupper-time, in a continued circle of
love-delights, kiffing, turtle-billing, toy-
ing, and all the reft of the feaft. At
length fupper was ferved in, before which
Charles had, for I do not know what
reafon, flipt his cloaths on, and fitting:
down by the bed-fide, we made table and
table-cloath of the bed and fheets, whilft
he fuffer’d nobody to attend or ferve
but himfelf. He eat with a very good.
appetite, and feem’d charm’d to fee me_
eat, For my part, I was fo inchanted
with my fortune, fo tranfported with the
| | com.

Woman of Pleafure. 135
comparifon of the delights 1 now fwarm |
in, with all the infipidity of my paft
_ {cenes of life, that I thought them fuff-
ciently cheap at even the price of my ruin,
or the rifque of their not Jafting. The
prefent poffeffion was all my little head
could find room for. | |

We lay together that night, when af-
ter playing repeated prizes of pleafure,
nature overfpent, and fatisfy'd, gave us —
up to the arms of fleep: thofe of my dear
youth encircl’d me, the confcioufnefs of
which made even that fleep more deli-
cious, | | :

Late in the morning I wak’d firft;
and obferving my lover flept profoundly,
foftly difengap’d myfelf from his arms,
{carcely daring to breath, for fear of
fhortening his repofe: my cap, my
hair, my fhift were all in diforder, from
the rufflings I had undergone; and I took ©
this opportunity to adjuft, and fet them
as well as I could: whilft every now and
then, looking at the fleeping youth with:
inconceiveable fondnefs and delight; and

, refiecting

116 Memoirs of a

refleing on all the pain he had put me
to, tacitly own’d that the pleafure had
over-paid me for my fufferings,

It was then broad day. I was fitting
up in the bed, the cloaths of which were
all toft, or roll’d off, by the unquietnefs
of our motions, from the fultry heat of
the weather; nor could I refufe myfelf a

‘pleafure that follicited me fo irrefiftibly, —
as this fair occafion of feafting my fight

with all thofe treafures of youthful beau-

ty I had enjoy’d, and which lay now al- .

moft entirely naked, his fhirt being
truft up in a perfect wifp, which the
warmth of the room and-feafon made me
eafy about the confequence of. I hung
over him enamour’d indeed ! and devour’d
all: his naked charms with only two
eyes, when J could have wifh’d them at
Jeéaft a hundred, for the fuller enjoyment of
the gaze. |
Oh! could I paint his figure as I fee
it néw ftill prefent to my tranfported ima-
gination! a whole length of an all-perfect
arly beauty in full view. Think of a:
oo face

a

Woman of Pleafure. — 117
face without a fault, glowing with all the
opening bloom, and. vernal frefhnefs of
an age, in which. beauty is of either fex,
and which the firft down.over his upper-
lip fcarce. began to diftinguith. |

The. parting of the double ruby- pout
of his lips, feem’d to-exhale an air {weeter
and. purer than what it drew in; Ah!
what violence did it not coft_me.to, refrain
_ the fo tempted kifs? |

“Then a neck exquifitely turn’d, grac’d
behind and on the fides with, his, hair play-
ing freely:in natural singlets,.; connected
his head to a body of the. moft perfect
form, and, of the.moft vigorous Contes
- ture, in which all the ftrength of manhood:
.. was conceal’d and. foften’d to appearantts
_ bythe, dplicacy of. his complexion, ,,the

- fmoothnefs of his {kin,, and the. plumpnefs
of his fiefh.

The. plat-form. of his. fnow-white bo-
..fom,' that was Jaid put io a manly. pro-
| portion, -prefented on the vermillion fum-
met of each pap; the idea of a rofe about
_ to blow.

Nor

118 = Memoirs of a
Nor did his fhirt hinder from obferving
that fimmetry of his limbs, that exact-
nefs of fhape, in the fall of it towards the
loins, where the waift ends, and the
rounding {well of the hips ‘commences, |
where the fkin, fleek, fmooth, and ‘'dazz-
— ling white, burnifhes on the ftretch over
- firm, plump-ripe flefh, that crimped and
run into dimples at the leaft preffure, or
that the touch could not reft upon, but
flid over as on the juries of: the mor

_ polith’d ivory.

His thighs finely fathion’d, and with
~ a florid gloffy roundnefs gradually taper-
“. ing away co the knee, feem’d pillars wor-
- thy to fupport that beauteous frame, at
- the bottom of which I could not without
~ fome remains of terrour, fome tender
emotions too, fix my eyes on that terrible
fpit-fire machine, which had not fo long
’ before, with fuch fury broke into, torn,
ahd. almoft ruin’d thofe foft’ tender parts
of mine, which had not yet dorie fmart-
ing with the effects of its rage; but be-
hold it now! creft-fall’n, ‘reclining its
half-

ee — ee

Woman of Pleafure. 119.

half-capt vermillion head over one of his
thighs, quiet, pliant, and to all appear-
ance incapable of the mifchiefs and cruel.
ty it had committed. Then the beautiful
growth of the hair, in fhort and foft curls
round its root, its whitenefs, branch’d
veins, the fupple foftnefs of the fhaft, as
it lay forefhorten’d, roll’d and fhrunk up

— Into a fquob thicknefs, languid, and born

up from between the thighs, by its glo-
bular appendage, that wondrous treafure-
bag of nature’s fweets, which rivell’d
round, and purs’d up in the only wrin-
kles that are known to pleafe, perfected
the profpect ; and all together form’d the
moft interefting moving picture in nature,
and furely infinitely fuperior to thofe nu-
dities furnifh’d by the painters, ftatuaries,
or any art, which are purchas’d at im-
menfe prices, whilft the fight of them in

~ aCtual life is fcarce fovereignly tafted by
‘any but the few. whom nature has endow-

ed with a fire of imagination, warmly
pointed by a truth of judgment to the
{pring-head, the originals of beauty of

nature’s

120 Memoirs of a

nature’s unequall’d compofition, above.al!
the imitations of art, or the reach of
_ wealth to pay their price.

But every thing muft have an end. A
motion made by this angelic youth, in
_ the liftlefinefs of going-off fleep, replac’d
his fhirt and cloaths in a pofture that fhut.

up that treafury from longer view. ©
"lay down. then, ind carrying my
hands to that part of me, in which the
objects juft feen had begun to raife a mu-
tiny, ‘that, prevail’d over che {mart of
"them, my fingers now open’d themfelves
an eafy paflage ; but long I had not the
time to confider the wide difference there,
7 between the maid, and ther now finith’d
"woman, before Charles wak’d, and turn-
"ing towards me, kindly enquir’d how I
“had refted ? “and {carce | ‘giving me time
“to anfwer, imprinted on my lips one of
2 his burning, rapture-kiffes, which darted a
flame to. my, heart, ‘that from thence Ta-
ly,. as if he had ‘proudly n meant revenge
. for the furvey Thad {fmuggled of all his
| naked

Woman of Pleafure. 12%
naked beauties, he fpurns off the bed-
cloaths, and truffing up my fhift as high
as it would go, took his turn to feaft his
eyes with all the gifts nature had beftow’d

on my pérfon; his bufy hands too rang’d.

internperantly over. every part of meé.

od

The delicious aufterity, and hardnefs of —

my yet untipe budding bréafts, the white-

nef and fitmne(s of my flefh, the frefh- ~

nefs and regularity of my features, the har-
mony of my limbs, all feem’d to confirm
him in his fatisfa€tion with his bargain :

but, when curious to explore the havoc.

he had made in the tender center of his
over-fierce attack, he not only directed
his hands there, but with 4 pillow put un-
der, placed me favourably for his wanton

purpofe of infpettion ; then, who can

exprefs the fire his-eyes gliften’d, his hands
siowd with? whilft fighs of pleafure,
and‘tender broken exclamations were afl
the praifes he could utter. By this time,
his rnachine ftiffy rifen at me, lifted and
bore the flap of his fhirt out, which pre-
fently fiercely removing, gave me to fee

Vou. I, F it

122 Memoirs of a

it in its higheft ftate and bravery: He
feels it himfelf, feems pleas’d at its condi-
tion, and, fmiling loves and graces,
feizes one of my hands, and carries it,
with a gentle compulfion, to this pride
of nature, and its richeft mafter-piece.

I ftruggling faintly, could not help
feeling what I could not grafp, a column
of the whiteft ivory, beautifully ftreak’d
with blue veins, and carrying, fully un-
capt, a head of the livelieft vermillion :
no horn could be harder, or ftiffer; yet
no velvet more fmooth or delicious to
the touch; prefently he guided my hand
lower, to that part, in which nature and
pleafure keep their ftores in concert, fo
aptly faften’d and hung on to the root of
their firft inftrument and minifter, that
not improperly he might be ftil’d their
purfe-bearer too: there he made me
feel, diftinétly, through their foft cover,
the contents, a pair of roundifh balls,

that feem’d to play within, and elude

all preffure, buc the tendereft, from
swirhout.

But

eee etme ee gS, | = ts
ee

Woman of Pleafure. 123

But now this vific of my foft warm
hand, in thofe fo fenfible parts, had put
every thing into fuch ungovernable fury,
that difdaining all further preluding, and
taking the advantage of my commodious
pofture, he made the ftorm fall where I
{carce patiently expeéted, and where he
was fure to Jay ic: prefently then 1 fele
the {tiff interfertion between the yielding
divided lips of the wound now open for
life; where the narrownefs no longer
put me to into!lerable pain, and afforded
my lover no more difficulty than what —
heighten’d his pleafure, in the firict em- .
brace of that tender warm fheath, round
the inftrument it was fo delicioufly ad-
jufted to, and which, now cafed home,
fo gorged me with pleafure, that it per-
fe&tly fuffocated me, and took away my
breath: then the killing thrufts! the un-
number’d kiffes! every one of which was
a joy inexpreffible ! and that joy loft in
a crowd of yet greater bliffes; but this
was a diforder too violent in nature to laft
si the veffels fo ftir’d, and intenfely

F 2 heated,

”

124 | Memars of a ~

heated, foon boil’d over, and for that
time put out the fire: mean while all this
dalliance and difport had fo far confum’d
the morning, that it became a kind of
meceflity to lay breakfaft and dinner in-
to one.

In our calmer intervals Charles gave
the following account of himfelf, every
tittle of which was true. He was the only
fon of a father, who having a {mall poft
in the revenue, rather over-liv’d his ine
come, and had given this young gentle-
man a very flender education : no profef-
fion had he bred him up to, bute defign’d

to provide for him in the army, by pur-

chafigg him an enfign’s commiffion ; that

is to fay, provided he could raifé the mo- °

ney, or procure it by intereft, either of
which claufes was rather to be wifh’d
than hop’d for by him: on no better a
plan, however, than this, ladthis 1m-
provident father fuffer’d this youth, and
a youth of great promHe, to run up fo
the age of manhood, or near tt at leaft,

_ innext toidtenefs, and had befides taken

c | no

Wonan of Piefure. 125
no fort of pains co give him even the
common premonitions againft the vices
of the town, and the dangers of all forts
which wait the unexperienc’d, and un-
wary, in ic. He liv’d at home, and at
difcretion, with his father, who himfelf
kept a miftrefs , and: for the reft, provid-
ed. Charles did not afk him for money, he
was indolently kind to him: he might
tie out when he pleas’d: any excule
would ferve, and even his reprimands
were fo flight, that they carried with them
rather an air of connivance at the fault,
than any ferious controul or conftraint.
But, to fupply his calls for money, Charles,
whofe mother was dead, -had, by her fide,
a grand moiher who doated upon, and
did not a little help-fpoil him. She had
a confiderable annuity to live upon, and
very regularly parted with every fhilling
fhe could fpare, to this darling of her’s,
to the no little heart-burn of his father,
who was vex’d, not that fhe by this means
fed his fon’s extravagance ; but that fhe pre-
ferred Charles to himfelf; and we fhall coo

oe. F 3 _ foon

126 Memurs of a

foon fee what a fatal turn fuch a mercena-
ry jealoufy could operate on the breaft of
a father.

Charles was however, by the means of -

his grand-mother’s Javifh fondnefs, very
fufficiently enabl’d to keep a miftrefs fo
eafily contented as my love made me;
and my good fortune, for fuch 1 muft ever
call ic, threw me in his way, in the man-

ner above related, juft as he was on the

look-out for one.

As to his temper, the even {weetnefs
of it made him feem born for domeftic
happinefs: tender, naturally polite, and
gentle-manner’d; it could never be his
fault, if ever jars, or animofities ruffled
a calm he was fo qualify’d every way to
maintain or reftore. Without thofe great
or fhining qualities that confticute a ge-
nius, or are fit to make a noife in the
world, he had all thofe humble ones thac
compofe the fofter focial merit: plain
common fenfe, fetoff with every grace of
modefty and good-nature, made him, if

not admir’d, what is much happier, uni-

- verfally

7 . , ween

So eee ee

Woman-of Pleafure. 127
verfally belov’d and efteem’d, But, as
nothing, but the beauties of his perfon
had at firft attraéted my regard, and fixd
my paffion, neither was J then a judge of
that internal merit, which I had afterward
full occafion to difcover, and which per-
haps, in that feafon of giddinefs and le-
vity, would have touch’d my heart very
little, had it been lodg’d in a perfon lefs
the delight of my eyes, and idol of my
fenfes, But to return to our fituation.—

After dinner, which we eat a-bed in a
moft voluptuous diforder, Charl:s got up,
and taking a paffionate leave of me for a
few hours, he went to town, where con-
certing, matters with a young fharp law-
yer, they went together to my late vene-
rable miftrefs’s, trom whence I had but
the day before made my elopement, and
with whom he was determin’d to fettle ac-
counts in a manner that fhould cut off all
after-reckonings from that quarter.

Accordingly, they went; but by the
way, the Templar, his friend, on think-

fe F 4 ing

128 Memars of @
ing over Charles’s information, faw reafon —
to give their vifit another turn, and in-
ftead of offering fatisfaction, to demand it.

On being let in, the girls of the houfe

. _flock’d round Caries, whom they knew,

and from the earlinefs of my efcape, and
their perfect ignorance of his ever having
fo much as feen me, not having the leaft
fufpicion of his being acceffary to my.
flizhc, they were, in their way, making yp
to him; and as to his companion, they
took him probably fora frefh cully : but the
Templar foon check’d their forwardnefs
by enquiring for the old lady, with whom
he faid, with a grave judge-like counte-
nance, that he had fome buGinefs to fettle.

Madam was immediately fenc for down,
and the ladies being defir’d to clear the
room, the lawyer afk’d her feverely if the
_ did not know, or had not decoy’d, un-
-'der pretence of hiring as a fervant, a young
girl, jut come out of the country, called
Fraaces or Fanny Hill, de{cribing me
withall as particularly as he could trom

Charles’s defcription.
Ic

Woniai of Plegfure. 129

It is peculiar to: vice to tremble at the
enquiries of juftice: and Mrs, Brown,
whofe confcience was not entirely clear
upon my account, as knowing as fhe was
of the town, as hackney’d as fhe was
in buffing through all the dangers of her .
vocation, could not help beiag alarm’d at
the queftion, efpecially when he wenton
to talk of a Juftice of Peace, Newgate,
the Old Baily, Indiétments for keeping
a diforderly houfe, Pillory, Carting, and
the whole procefs of that nature: She
who, itis likely, imagin’d I had lodg’d
an information againft her houle, look’d
extremely blank, and began to make a
thoufand proteftations, and excules. How-
ever, to abridge, they brought away tri-
umphantly my box of things, which had
fhe not been under an awe, the might
have difputed with them ; and not only
that, but a clearance and difcharge of any
demands an the houfe, at the expence of
no mora than a bawl of arrack-punch, the
treat of which, together with the
choice of the houfe- -conveniencies, was of-.
: F 5 | fer’d

obs

1300 06- | Memoirs of a

fer’d, and not accepted, Cdarlés‘all the
time acted the chance-companion of the
Jawyer who had brought him there, as
he knew the houfe, and appear’d in no
wife interefted in the iffue, but he had the
collateral pleafure of hearing all I had told
him verified, fo far as the bawd’s fears
would give her leave to enter into my
hiftory, which, if one may guefs by the
‘compofition fhe’ fo: readily came into,
were not {mall oS
Phebe, my kind tutrefs Phebe, was at
that time gone out, perhaps in fearch of
me, or their cook’d up ftory had not, ic
js probable, pafs’d fo {moothly.

This negociaton had however taken
up fome time, which would have ap-
pear’d much longer to me, left as I was
ina ftrange houfe, if the landlady, a mo-
therly fort of woman, to whom Charles
had liberally recommended me, had nor
come up and born me company: We
drank tea, and her chat help’d to pafs
away the time very agreeably, fince he
was our theme; but as theevening si

on | ae

Woman of Phafure. 131
ned, and the hour fet for his return was
elaps’d, I could not difpel the gloom of
impatience, and cender fears which ga-
ther’d upon me, and which our timid
fex are apt co feel in proporion to their
love,

Long however I did not fuffer, the
fight of him over-paid me; and the foft
reproach I had prepar’d for him, ex-
pir’d before it reach’d my lips.

I was ftill a-bed, yet unable to ufe my
legs otherwife than aukwardly, and
Charles flew to me, catches me in his
_ arms, raifed, and extending mine to meet
his dear embrace, and gives me an ac-
count, interrupted by many a fweet pa-
renthefis of ne of. the fuccefs of his
meafures.

I could not ‘help laughing at the
fright the old woman had been put into,
which my ignorance, and indeed my
want of innocence, had far from prepat’d
me for befpeaking: She had, _!t
feems, apprehended that I had fled for
fhelter to fome relation I had recollected.

F 5 in

332 Bemairs of a

in town, on my diflike of their ways and
‘proceediig towards me, and that this ap-
plication came from thence. For, as
‘Charles brad rightly judg’d, not one peigh-
‘our had, at that ftill hour, feen the cir-
cumftance of my efcape into the coach,
or at leaft netic’d him; neither had any
in the houfe the leaft hint or clue of fufpi-
cion of my having fpqke co him, muych
lefs of my having elape up fuch a fuddeg
bargain with a perfeét ftranger : Thus
the greareft improbability is not always
what we fhould moft miftruft.

We fupp’d with all the gayety of two
young giddy creatures at the top of their
defires; and as I had moft joyfully given
up to Charles the whole charge of my fu-
ture happinefs, I thought of nothing be-
yond the exquifite pleafure of pofleffing

him.
- He came to bed in due time, and this

fecond night, the pain being pretty well —

over, I tafted, in full draughts, all che

| tranfports of perfect enjoyment. I {wam,.

I bath’d in blifs, ull both fell fat afleep,
through

Wowan of Pladfure. 533
through the natural confequences of fatifitd
-defires, and appeas’d flames ; nor did we
- wake but to renew’d raptures. .

:» "Fhus making the moft of love, and
fife, did we ftay ac chis lodging in Chbelfeg
about ten days, in which time Charles
took care to give his excurfions from
_ home a colonrable glof, and to keep his
footing with his fond, indulgent grand-
mother, from whom he drew cenftant and
fufficiene fupplies for the charge I was to
him, and which was very trifling, in com
—3 with his former lefs oes courle
of pleafures. |
Charlies remov’d me then tO a private
ready-furnifh’d lodging n D———~/}reed,
St. James's, where he paid half a guinea
a week for two raoms andaclofet on. the
fecond floor, which he had been fome
time looking out for, and was more cone
venient for rhe frequency of his vifits, than
where he had_at firft plac’d me, in a houfe
which I cannot fay but I left with regrer,
as ie was ‘infinitely endear’d to me by
the firft. pofitffion of my Charles, and
the

134 © Memors of a

the circumftance of loofing there that jewel
which can never be twice loft. The
Jandlord however had no reafon to com-
plain of any thing, but of a procedure
in Charles too liberal not to make him re-
egret his lofs of us,

Arriv’d at our new lodgings, I remem-
ber I chought them extremely fine, though
ordinary enough even at that price ; but
had it been a dungeon that Charles had
* brought me to, his prefence would have
made it a little Ver/ailles, —

The landlady, Mrs. Jones, waited on
us to our apartment, and with great vo_
lubility of tongue explain’d to us all its
conveniences, ‘‘ that her own maid fhould
<¢ wait on us, ——- that the beft of qua-
‘¢ lity had Jodg’d at her houfe, —— that
‘s her firft floor was let to a foreign fe-
s¢ cretary of an embaffy, and his lady, —
s¢ that I look’d like a very good-natur’d
ss jady .” At the word lady,
I blufh’d out of flatter’d vanity: this
was too {trong for a girl of my condi-
tion: for though Charles had had the

precau-

Woman of Pleafure. 135
precaution of dreffing mein a lefs taudry
flaunting ftile than were the cloaths I e-
fcap’d tohim in, and of paffing me for
his wife that he had fecretly married, and
kept private, (the old ftory) on account
of his friends. I dare {wear this appear’d
extremely apocryphal to a woman who
knew the town fo well as fhe did; but
that was the leaft of her concern ; .It was
impoffible to be lefs fcruple-ridden than
fhe was: and the advantage of letting her
rooms being her fole object, the truth ic-
felf would have far from {candaliz’d her,
or broke her bargain.

A fketch of her picture and perfonal
hiftory will difpofe you to account for
the part fhe is to act in my concerns.

She was about forty fix years old, tall,
meager, red-hair’d, with one of thofe
trivial ordinary faces you meet with every
where, and go about unheeded and un-
mention’d. In her youth fhe had been
kept by a gentleman, who dying, left her
forty pounds a year during her life, in con- ~

fideration of a daughter he had by her,
which

136 | Blemors of a -
which daughter, at theage of feventeen,
the fold, for nota very confiderable fum
neither, to a gentleman, who was going
an Envoy abroad, and took his purchafe
with him, where he us’d ber: with the —
utmoft tendernefs, and it is thought was
feeretly married to her: but had conftantly
made a point of her not keeping up the leaft
eorrefpondence with a mother bafe enough
eo make a market of her own flefh and
blood. However, as fhe had no.nature,
nor indeed any paffion but that of money,
this gave her no further uneafinefs, than,
as fhe thereby loft a handle of fqueezing
prefents, or other after-advantages out of
the bargain. Indifferent then. by nature
or conftitution to every other pleafure bue
that of encreafing the lump, by any means
whatever, fhe commenc’d a kind of pri-
vate procurefs, for which fhe was noe
amifs fitted by her grave decent’ appears
ance, and fometimes did a job in the
match-making way ; in fhort there wae
nothing that appear’d to her under the
fhape of gain, chat fhe would not have.
under-

Woman of Phafere. 137

undertaken. She knew moft of the ways
of the town, having nor only herfelf been
upon, but kept up conftant intelligences
in #, dealing, befides her praétice in pro-
moting a harmony between the two fexes,
in private pawn-broking, and other pro-
‘fitable fecrets, fhe rented the houfe fhe.
liv’d in, and made the meft of it by ler-
ting ic out in lodgings; asd though the
was worth, at leaft, near three or four
thoufand pounds, fhe would not allow
herfelf even the neceffaries of life. and
pinn’d her fubGiftence entirely on what the
could fqueeze our of her lodgers, |
When fhe faw fuch a young pair
¢€ome under her roof, her immediate noti-
ons doubrlefs were how fhe fhould make
the moft money of ys, by every means
that money might be mede, and which
fhe rightly judg’d our fituation and inex-
perience would foon beget her occafions of.
_ In this hopeful fanctuary, and under the
clutehes of this harpy, did we pitch our re-
fidence. [t will not be mighty material to
you, or very pleasant to me, to enter into a
— detail

138 Memoirs of a

detail of all the petty cut-throat ways and
means with which fhe us’d to fleece us ;
all which Charles indolently chofe to bear
with, rather than takethe trouble of remo-
ving , the difference of the expence being
fcarce attended to by a young gentleman
who had no ideas of ftint, or even ceco-
nomy, and a raw country girl whoknew
nothing of the matter.

Here, however, under the wings of my
fovereignly belov’d, did 1 flow the moft
‘delicious hours of my life; my Charles
I had, and in him every thing my fond
heart could wifh or defire. He carried
meto Plays, Operas, Mafquerades, and
every diverfion of the Town, all which
pleas’d me indeed, but pleas’d me infi-
nitely the more for his being with me, and

explaining every thing to me, and enjoy-

ing perhaps the natural impreffions of fur-
prize and admiration, which fuch fights,
at the firft never fail to excite in a Country
Girl new to the delights of them: but to
-me they fenfibly prov’d the power and
full dominion of the fole paffion of my
: heart

—

so —_— ———

arr ares wa oe

Woman of Pleafure. 139
heart over me, a paffion in which foul
and body were concenter’d, and left me no
room for any other relith of life but love. .

As to the men I faw at thofe places,
or at any other, they fuffer’d fo much in
the comparifon my eyes made of them
with my all-perfect Adonis, that I had noe
the infidelity even of one wandering
thought to reproach myfelf with upon his
account. He was the univerfe to me, and
all that was not him, was nothing to me.

My love, in fine, was fo exceffive, tha
it arriv’d at annihilating every fuggeftion
or kindling fpark of jealouly, ‘for one
idea only tending that way gave me fuch
exquifite torment, that my felf-love, and
dread of worfe than death, made me for
ever renounce and defy ic : nor had I in-
deed occafion, for were I to enter here on
a recital of feveral inftances wherein
Charles facrific’d to me women of greater
importance than I dare hint, (which con-
fidering his form was no fuch wonder),
I might indeed. give you full proof of his
unfhaken conftancy to me, but would nor

you

140 Memoars of a
you accufe me of warming up again a
feaft, that my vanity ought long ago to
have been fatisfy’d with?

In our ceffations from active alti
Charles fram’d himfelf one, in inftructing
me, as far as his own lights reach’d 3; in

a great many points of lite, chat I was, tn.

confequence of my no-education, perfectly.
ignorant of ; nor did I fuffer one word.ta
fall in vain from the mouth of my lovely
teacher: I hung on every fyllable he
witer’d, and receiv’d as oracles all he faid:
whilft kiffés were aJl the interruption, §
could not refufe myfelf the pleafure of ad-
mitting, from lips that breath’d more than
Arabian {weetnels,

I was in a little time enabl’d, by the
progrefs | had made, to prove the deep
regard I had paid co all that he had
faid to me 3 repeating it to him almoft
word for word ; and to fhow chat | was
not entirely the parrot, but thac | reflected
upon, that £ enter’d into it, | join’d my
own comments, and alk’d him oN

of cones |
: My

Woman of Pleafure. r41

My country accent, and the rufticity of
my gait, manners, and deportment, began
_ now fenfibly to wear off, fo quick was my
obfervation, and fo efficacious my defire
of growing. every ‘day worthicr of his
heart.

As to money, though he brought me
conftantly all he receiv’d, it was with dif-
ficulty he even got me to give it_room in
my bureau, and what cloachs I had, he
could prevail on me to accept on, on no-
other foot, than thatof pleafing him by the
greater neatnefs in my drefs, beyond which
I had no ambition ; I could have made a
pleafure of the greateft ton, and work’d my
fingers tothe bone, with joy, to have fup-
ported him : guefs then, if I could har
bour any idea of being burdenfome to
him: and this difincerefted turn in me was
‘fo- unaffected, fo mtach the ditateof my
heart, that Charles could not burt feel ir,
and if he did not love the ‘as much as I
did him, (which was the conftant and only
mateer of {weet contentidn between us) he
manag’d fo at leaft as to give ~ =

atif-

‘142 ' Memoirs of g

fatisfaction of believing it impoffible for
man to be more sender: more true, more
faithful than he was.

Our landlady, Mrs. Jones, came fre-
quently up to my apartment from whence.

I never ftirr’d on any pretext without
Charles: nor was it long. before fhe
worm’d out, without much art, the fecret
of our having cheated the church of a
ceremony; and in courfe of the terms.we
Jiv’d-together upon : a circumftance whieh
far from difpleas’d her, confidering the
defigns fhe had upon me, and which, alas !
fhe. will have too foon room to carry into

execution, But in the mean time her own.

experience of life, lec her fee that any at-
tempt however indireét, or difguis’d, to
divertor break, at leaft prefently, fo ftrong
a cement of hearts as ours was, could on-
ly end in lofing two lodgers, of whom fhe

made very competent advantages, if either —

of us Cameto fmoak her commifiion, for
a commiffion fhe had from one of her cuf-
tomers, either to debauch or get me away

from my keeper. at any rate.
But

Woman of Pleafure. 143

But the barbarity of my fate, foon fav’d -
her the tafk of difuniting us. -I had now
been eleven months with this life of my
life, which had paft in one continu’d rapid
_ ftream of delight: but nothing fo violenc
was ever made to laft. 1 was about three
months gone withchild by him, acircum-
{tance which would have added to his
tendernefs, had he ever left me room to
believe it could receive an addition, when
the mortal,. the unexpected blow of fepa-
ration fell upon us. I fhall gallop poft
over the particulars, which I fhudder yee
co think of, and cannot to this inftant re-
concile to. my felf how, or.by oo means
I could outlive te,

Two live-long days had I linger’d
through, without hearing from him, I
who breath’d, whoexifted but in him, and
had never yet feen twenty-four hours _pafs
without feeing or hearing from him. The
chird day my impatience was fo ftrong,
my alarms had been fo fevere, that I per-
fectly ficken’d with them, and being un-—
able to fupport the fhock longer, I funk

upon

144 Memoirs of a
upon the bed, and ringing for Mrs. Fores,
who had far from comforted me under my
anxieties, fhe came up and I had fcarce
breath and fpirrt erough to find wotds to
beg of her if fhe would fave my life, to
fall upori forne means of finding out in-
ftantly what was become df its only prop,
arid comfort: She pity’d me in a way that
father fharpen’d my affliction than fufpend-
éd it, and went out upon this ¢omrhiffion.

For fhe had not togo to Charles's houfe,
who liv’d but at an eafy diftance, in one
of the ftreets that run into Covent-Garden.
There fhe went into 2 public-houfe, and
from thence ferit for:a maid ferwaht, whofe
name I had given her, as, the properett: to
inform her, |

The maid readrly came, artd asreadily,
when Mrs, Fores enquir’d of her what was
become of Mr. Charies, or whether he
was gone outof town, acquainted het with
the difpofal-of her maftet’s fon, which rhe
vety day after wag no fecret to the fervants ;
fach fure' rneafures had he taken for the
moft cruel purtifhment of his child, for

: having

=~ oe

Woman of Pleafure: 148
having more intereft with his grand-miother
than he had, though he made ufe of a pre-
tence, plaufible enough to get rid of him
in this fecret and abrupt manner, for fear
her fondnefs fhould have interpos’d a bar

to his leaving England, and proceeding on

a voyage he had concerted for him,which
pretext was, that it was indifpenfably ne-
ceffary to fecure a confiderable inheritance,
that devolv’d to him by the death of a
rich merchant (his own brother) at ane of
the factories in the South-Seas, of which
he had lately receiv’d advice, together
with a copy of the Will.

In confequence of which refolution to
fend away his fon, he had, unknown to
him, made the neceffary preparations fop
fitting him.out, ftruch a bargain with the
captain of a fhip, whofe punctual execution
of his orders he had fecured by his intereft

' with his principal owner and patron, and

in fhort concerted his meafures fo fecretly

> and effectually, that whilft his fon thought

he was going down the river that would
take him a few hours, he was ftopt on

Vou. I, : G board

146 Memoirs of a
board of a fhip, debar’d from writing, and
ntore ftrictly watch’d than a ftate-criminal.

Thus was the idol of my foul torn from
me, and forc’d on a long voyage without
taking leave of one friend, or receiving
one line of comfort, except a dry expla-
nation and inftructions from his father
how to proceed, when he fhould arrive ac
his deftin’d port, enclofing withal fome
letters of recommendation to a factor there :
all chefe particulars I did not learn mi-
nutely till fome time after.

The maid atthe fame time added, that
~ fhe was fure this ufage of her fweet young
mafter, would be the death of his grand-
mama, as indeed it prov’d true, for the
old lady on hearing it, did not furvive the
news a whole month, and as her fortune
confifted-in an annuity, out of which fhe
had laid up no referves, fhe left nothing
worth mentioning to her fo fatally envied
darling, but abfolutely refus’d to fee his
father before fhe died.

When Mrs. Hones return’d, and I ob-
ferv’d her looks, they feem’d fo unconcern’d
: and

Woman of Pleafure. 1497
and even neareft to pleas’d, that I halt
flatter’d myfelf, the was going to fet my
tortur’d heart at eafe, by bringing me
good news ; but this indeed was a cruel.
delufion of hope: the barbarian, with all
the coolnefs imaginable, ftabs me to the.
heart, in telling me fuccinétly that he was
fent away at leaft on a four years voyage,
(here fhe ftretch’d malicioufly) and that I
could not expect in reafon ever to fee him
again: and all this with fuch pregnant cir-
cumftances, that I could not efcape giving
them credit, as in general they were in-
deed too true! :

She had hardly finifh’d her report, be-
fore I fainted away, and after feveral fuc-
ceffive fits, all the while wild and fenfe-
lefs, I mifcarried of the dear pledge of
my Charles’slove: but the wretched never
die when it is fitteft that they fhould die,
and women are hard-liv’d to a proverb.

The cruel and interefted care taken to
recover me, fav’d an odious life: which in-
ftead of the happinefs and joys it had over-
flow’d in, all of a fudden prefented no view

G2 before

148 | Memotrs of a
before me of any thing but the depth of
mifery, horror, and the fharpeft affliction,

Thus I lay fix weeks, in the ftruggles of
youth and conftitution againft the friendly
efforts of death, which I conftantly invok’d
to my relief and deliverance, but which
proving too weak for my wifh, I recover’d
at length, but into a ftate of ftupefa€tion
ahd defpair that chreaten’d me with a lofs
of my fenfes, anda mad-houfe.

Time, however, that great comfofter in
ordinary, began to affuage the violence of
miy fuffering, and to numb my feeling of
them. My healthreturn’dto me, though
I {till retain’d an air of grief, dejection,
and langour, which taking off from the
ruddinefs of my country complexion,
render’'d it rather more delicate and
affecting. oe

The landlady had all this time officiouf-
ly provided, and feen that I wanted for
nothing, and as foon as fhe faw me re-
ttiev’d into a condition of anfwering her
_ purpofe ; one day after we had dined to-
gether, fhe congratulated me on my

recovery,

~~

ge

Woman of Pleafure. 49
recovery, the merit of which fhe took ©
entirely to herfelf, and all this by way of :
introduction to a moft terrible, and fcurvy
epilogue: ** You are now, fays fhe, mifs
‘© Fanny, tolerably well, and you are very
** welcome to ftay in thefe lodgings as long
“* as you pleafe, you fee] have afk’d you
*« for nothing this long time, buttruelyI —
«¢ havea call to make upa fum of money

-¢¢ which muft be anfwer’d”; and, with thac, —
_ prefents mewith a bill for. arrears of rent,
diet, apothecary’ s charges, nurfe, fee, fum —
total twenty-three pounds. feventeen and

fix-pence : towards difcharging of which I
had not in the world (which fhe well knew)
more than feven guineas, left by chance
of my dear Charles’s common ftock with
me: atthe fame time fhe defir’>d me to
tell her what courfe I would take for pay-_
ment. I burft out into a flood of tears,
and told her my condition, that I would
fell what few cloaths I had, and that for
the reft, would pay her as foon as poffible :
but my diftrefs being favourable to her
views, only ftiffen’d her the more.

G 3 30

150 | Memoirs of « |
-—She told me very coolly, that fhe was
indeed forry for my misfortunes, but that
fhe mutt do herfelf juftice, though it would
go to the very heart of her to fend fuch a
tender young creature to prifon: —— at
the word prifon! every drop of my blood
chill’d, and my fright aéted fo ftrongly
upon me, that turning as pale and faint
as a criminal at the firft fight of his
place of execution, I was on the point of

{wooning : my landlady, who wanted only —

to terrify me to a certain point, and not
to throw me-into a ftate of body incon-
fiftent with her defigns upon it, began to
footh me again, and told me, in a tone
~ compos’d to more pity and gentlenefs,
that it would be my own fault if fhe was
forc’d to proceed to fuch extremities, but
fhe believ’d there was a friend to be found
inthe world, who would make up mat-
ters to both our fatisfactions, and that fhe
would bring him to drink tea with us that
very afternoon, when fhe hop’d we would
come to a right underftanding in our af-
fairs. To allthis, nota word of anfwer:

T fate mute, confounded, terrify’d.
Mrs.

ae

Woman of Pleafure. 7 51

Mrs. Jones, however, judging rightly
that it was her time to ftrike whilft the
impreffions were fo ftrong upon me, left
me to myfelf, and to all the terrors of an
imagination, wounded to death by the
idea of going to a prifon, and, from a
principle of felf-prefervation, fnatching at
every glimpfe of redemption from it.

: In this ficuation I fat near half an hour,
fwallow’d up in grief and defpair, when
my landlady came in, and obferving a
death-like dejection in my countenance,
ftill in purfuance of her plan, put on a
falfe pity, and bidding me be of good
heart, things fhe {aid would not be fobad
as I imagin’d, if I would be but my own
friend: and clofed with telling me fhe
had brought a very honourable gentlernan
to drink tea with me, who would give me
the beft advice how to get rid of all my
troubles: upon which, without waiting —
for a reply, fhe goes out, and returns with
this very honourable gentleman, whofe
very honourable procurefs fhe had been
on this as well as other occafions. |

G4 | The

¥52 - Memoirs of a

. The gentleman on his entering the
room made me a very civil bow, which I
had fcarce ftrength, or prefence of mind
enough to return a curtfey to : when the
Jandlady taking _ upon her to do all the
honours of this firft interview ; for I had
never, that I remember’d, (feen the gentle-
man before) fets a chair for him, and an-
other for herfelf. All this while nota word
On either fide: a ftupid ftare was all the
face I could: put on this ftrange vifit.

The tea was made, and the landlady,
unwilling, I fuppofe, to lofe any time,
obferving my filence and fhynefs before.
this entire ftranger,‘* come mifs Fanny (fays

fhe ina coarfe familiar {tyle, and tone of

authority) ‘* hold up your head child, and
‘*¢ do not let forrow fpoil that pretty face
“¢ of yours; What! forrows are only fora
<6 time: Come, be free, here isa worthy
<¢ gentleman who has heard of your mif-
s¢ fortunes, and is willing to ferve you——
«© you muft be better acquainted with him,
<¢ do not you now ftand upon your punéti-
« lio’s, and this and that, but make your
cs market while you may. > At

i}
a
«..- —_-—--

Woman of Phoafure 153

Atthis fo delicate,and eloquent harangue,
the gentleman, who faw I look’d frighted
and amaz’d, and indeed incapable of an-
{weriog, took her up for breaking things
jo fo abrupt a manner, as rather to fhock

than incline me to an acceptance of the

good he intended me: then addrefling him-
felf to me, told me he was perfeétly ac-
quainted with my whole ftory, and every
citcymiiance of my diftrefs, which he
own’d was a cruel plunge for one of my
youth and beauty to fall into :- ——that he
had long taken a-liking to my perfon, for
which he appeal’d to “Mrs. Jones, there
prefent, but finding me fo deeply engag’d
£0 another, he had Joft all hopes of fuc-
ceeding, till he heard the fudden reverfe
of fortune that had happen’d to me, on
which he had given particular orders to
amy landlady to fee that I fhould want for
nothing, and that had he not been forc’d
abroad to the [Hague on affairs he could
not refufe himfelf to, he would himfelf
have attended me during my ficknefs;
eee thaton his returp, which was byt
eae G 5 the

154 Memoirs of @

the day before, he had, on learning my
recovery, defir'd my landlady’s good offi.
ces to introduce him to me, and wasas angry
at leaft, as I was fhock’d, at the manner in
which fhe had conduéted herfelf towards
obtaining him that happinefs, but that to
fhow me how much he difown’d her pro-
cedure, and how far ‘he was from taking
an ungenerous advantage of my fituation,
and from exaéting any fecurity for my gra-
titude, he would, before my face, that in-
ftant, difcharge my debt entirely to my
landlady, and give me her receipt in full,
after which I fhould be at liberty either to
reject or grant his fuit, as he was much
above putting any force upon my incli-
nations.

Whilft he was expofing his fentiments
to me, I ventur’d juft to look up to him,
and obferve his figure, which was that of
a very well looking gentleman, well made,
of about forty, dreft in a fuit of plain
cloaths, with a large diamond ring on one
of bts fingers, the luftre of which play’d
ta my eyes, as he. wav’d his hand in

calk-

a
©
an

wo —_—_—_——— en

Woman of Pleafure. 155

talking, and rais’d my notions of his im-

‘portance: in fhort, he might pafs for

what is commonly call’d a comely black
man, with an air of diftinétion natural ‘to
his birth and condition.

Toall his fpeeches, however, J anfwer’d
only in tears that flow’d plentifully to my
relief, and choaking up my voice, excus’d
me from fpeaking, very luckily, for I
fhould not have known what to fay.

The fight however mov’d him, as he

afterwards told me, irrefiftibly, and by
way of giving me fome reafon to be lefs

powerfully affliéted, he drew out his purfe,
and calling for penand-ink,. which the
landlady was prepar’d for, paid her every
farthing of her demand, independant of
a liberal gratification, which was to fol-
low unknown to me, and taking a receipt

in full, very tenderly forc’d me to fecure
it, by guiding my hand, which he had

thruft it into, foas to make me paffively
put it into my pocket.
Still 1 continued in a ftate of ftupidicy,

or melancholic defpair, as my fpirits could

not

136 020=— ss Memoirs of a
not yet recover from ‘the violent fhocks
they had receiv’d, and the commode land-
dady had actually ‘left the room, and me
alone with this ftrange gentleman before I
obferv’d. it, and then obferv’d it without
alarm, for I was now lifelefs, and indif-
ferent to every thing. »

The gentleman, however, no novice in
affairs ‘of this fort, drew near me, and

under the pretence of comforting me, firft

with his handkerchief dried my tears as
they ran down my cheeks: prefently, he
ventur'd to kifs me; on my part neither
‘refiftance nor compliance I fat ftock-{till;
and now looking on myfelf as bought by
the payment that had been tranfacted be-
fore me, I did not care what became of
my wretched body: and wanting life, f{pi-
rits, or courage to oppofe the leaft ftruggle,
even that of the modeftyof my fex, I fuf-
fer’d tamel y whatever-the gentleman plea-
ied, who proceeding infenfibly from free-
dom to freedom, infinuated his hand be-
tween my handkerchief and bofom, which
he handled at difcretion ; finding thus no
_ | : repulfe,

Sct he Sir la Se ee ee

soe nema ee

Woman of Pleafure. 159
repulfe and thatevery thing favour’d, be-
yond expectation, the completion of his

: -defires, he:took'me in his arms, and bore
me without life or motion to the bed, on
which laying me gently down, and having
| me at what advantage he pleas’d, I did
not fo much as Know what he was about,
till recovering from a trance of lifelefsin-
fenfibility, found him buried in me, whilft
I lay :affive ‘and innocent of -the leaft
fenfation of pleafure : a death cold corpfe.
could fcarce have had lefs life or fenfe
in it. As foon as he had thus paci-
fred a paffion, which had too little re-
fpeéted the condition I was in, he got off, '
and after recompofing the diforder of my
cloaths, employ’d himfelf with the utmolt
‘tendernefs to calm the tran{ports of remorfe
; and madnefs at myfelf, with which I was
feiz’d, too late I confefs, for having
fuffer’d on that bed the embraces of an
‘ - --ateer ftranger : I tore my hair, wrung my
hands, and beat my breaft like a mad-wo-
| man: but when my new mafter, for in
j that light I then view’d him, applied
himéfelf

158 Memuirs of a
himfelf to appeafe me, as my whole rage
was levell’d at myfelf, no part of which
I thought myfelf permitted toaim at him,
I begg’d him with more’ fubmiffion than
anger, to leave me alone, that! might
at leaft enjoy my.affliction in quiet; this
he pofitively refus’d, for fear, as he pre-

tended, thatI fhould do myfelf a mifchief.

Violent paffions feldom laft long, and
thofe of women leaft of any. A dead
{till calm fucceeded this ftorm, which end-
ed in a profufe fhower of tears.

Had any one, but a few inftants before,
cold me that I fhould have ever known
any man but Charles, I would have fpie
in his face, or had I been offer’d infinite-
ly a greater fum of money than that I faw

" . paid for me, I had {purn’d the propofal

in cold blood ; but our virtues and our vi-
-ces depend too much on our circumftances ;
unexpectedly befer as 1 was, betray’d by
-a mind weakned by a Jong. fevere afficti-
on, and ftunn’d with the terrors of a yoal,
my defeat will appear the more excul-
able, fince I certainly was not prefent at,

or

Woman of Pleafure. 159

or a party in any fenfe, to it. However,
as the firft enjoyment is decifive, and he
"was now over the bar, I thought I had no
longer a right to refufe the careffes of one
that had got that advantage over me, no
_ matter how obtain’d: conforming myéfelf
then to this maxim, I confider’d my felf
as fo much in his power, that I endur’g
his kiffes and embraces without affecting
ftruggles, or anger, not that they as yet
gave me any pleafure, or prevail’d over the
averfion of my foul, to give myfelf up to
any fenfation of that fort: what I fuffer’d,
I fuffer’d out of a kind of gratitude, and
as matter of courfe after what had pafs’d. —
He was however fo regardful as not to
attempt the renewal of thofe extremities
which had thrown me Juft before into fuch
violent agitations; but, now fecure of
pofieffion, contented himfelf with bring-
ing me to temper by degrees, and wait.
ing at the hand of time for thofe fruits of
his generofity and courtfhip, which he’
fince often reproach’d himfelf with having
gather’d much too green, when yielding
to

60 Memuirs of a
to the invitations of my inability to refi
- him, and overborn by defires, he had

‘wreak’d his paffion on a mere lifelefs fpi-

ritlefs body, dead to all purpofes of joy,
Gince taking none, it ought to have been
fuppos’d incapable of giving any. . This
is however certain, my heart never tho-
roughly forgave him the manner in which
i had falPn to him, although, in point
of intereft, 1 had reafon:to be pleas’d that
he found in my perfon——-wherewithal to
keep him from leaving me as eafily as he
had had me.

The evening was in the mean time {op
far iadvanc’d, shat the maid came in to
lay the cloth for fupper, when I ynder-
dtood with joy, thatimy landlady, whofe
fight was prefent poifon to me, was not
to be with us, |
- Prefently a neat and elegant fupper
was introduc’d, and a bottle of burgundy,
with the other neceffaries; were fet on a
dumb- waiter.

The maid quitting the room, the gen-
¢leman infifted, with a tender warmth, that

I fhou’d

Woman of Pleafure. 361
I fhould fit up in. the elbow chair by the

fire, and fee him eat, if I cou’d not be

prevail’d on to eat.myfelf. I obey’d, with
a heart full of affliction, at the compari-
fon it made between thofe delicious tete-a-
fetes with my ever dear youth, and this
fore’d fituation, this new aukward fcene,
impos’d and obtraded x ‘on me coy cruel ne>
ceffity. |
- At fupper, after a great many argue

‘ments us’d to comfort, and reconcile me

te my fate, he told me that-his name was
f——, brother to the earl of L——~-, and |
that having, by the fuggeftions of my
landlady, been led to fee.me, he had found
me perfectly to his tafte, had given her a
commiffion to procure me at any rate, and
that he had at length fucceeded as much
to his fatisfaction, as he paffionately wifh’d
tt might be to mine, adding withal fome
flattering affurances that I fhould have no
caufe to repent my knowledge of him.

I had now got down at leaft half a par-
tridge, and three or four glafies of wine,
which he se me to drink by way

of

162 Memoirs of a

of reftoring nature, but whether there was
any thing extraordinary put into the wine,
or whether there wanted no more to revive
the natural warmth of my conftitution,
and give fire to the old train, I began no
longer to look with that conftraint, not to
fay difguft, on Mr. H which 1 had
hitherto done, but withal there was not
the leaft grain of love mix’d with this
foftening of my fentiments: any other
man would have been juft the fame to me
as Mr. H. » that ftood in the fame cir-
cumftances, and had done for me, and
with me, what he had done.

There are not, on earth at leaft, eter-
nal griefs; mine were, if not at an end,
at leaft fufpended: my heart, which had
been fo long overloaded with anguifh and
vexation, began to dilate and open to the
leaft gleam of diverfion, or amufement,
‘I wepta little, and my tears reliev’d me ;
I figh’d, and my fighs feem’d to lighten
me of a load that oppreft me: my coun-
tenance grew, if not chearful, at leaft
more compos’d, and free,

Mr,

- On ee 8

ee cE, Oe a

—~

Woman of Pleafure. 163

Mr, H—— who had watched, perhaps
brought on this change, knew too well not
to feize it: He thruft the table impercep-
tibly from between us, and bringing his
chair to face me, he foon began, after
preparing me by all the endearments of

affurances, and proteftations, to lay hold

of my hands, to kifs me, and once more
to make free with by bofom, which being
at full liberty from the diforder of my loofe

_difhabil, now panted and throb’d lefs -

with indignation than with fear and bafh-
fulnefs, at being ufed fo familiarly by {till
a ftranger: but he foon gave me greater
occafion to exclaim, by ftooping down
and flipping his hand above my garters s
thence he ftrove to regain the pafs which -
he had before found fo open, and unguard-
ed: but now he could not unlock the twift
of my thighs: I gently complain’d, and
bego’d him to let me alone; told him I
was not well: however, as he faw there
was more form and ceremony in my re-
fiftance, than good earneft, he made his
conditions for defifting from purfuing his

point, chat I fhould be put inftantly to
_— bed

— 164 Memoirs of @
bed, whilft he gave certain orders to the
— Jandlady, and that he would return in an
hour, when he hop’d to find me more rer
concil’d to his paffion for me, than 1
feem’d at prefent. I neither affented nor
deny’d, but in my air and manner of re-
ceiving this propofal, gave him to fee that
I did not think myfelf enough my owa
miftrefs to refufe it. | |
Accordingly he went out and left me,
when a minute or two after, before I could
recover myfelf into any compofure for
thinking, the maid came in with her mir
{tref’s fervice, and a {mall filyer porrens
ger of what fhe call’d a bridal poffet, and
defir’d me to eat it as 1 went to bed, which
confequently I did, and felt immediately
a heat, a fire run like a hue-and-cry
through ev’ry part of my body ; I burnt,
I glow’d, and wanted even little of wifh-
ing for any man.
~The maid, as foon as I was lain down,
took the candle away, and wifhing me @
good night, went out of the room, and
fhut the door after her.

She

ae - —_——

————- ie wp

Wonran of Pleafure. 165 —

She had hardly time to get down ftairs
before Mr, H— open’d my room door
foftly, and came in, now uhdreft, in his

_ night-gown and cap, with two lighted

wax-candles, and bolting the door, gave
me, though I expected him, fome fort of
alarm. He camea tip-toe to the bed+fide,
and faying with a gentle whifper, * pray
s¢ my dear do not be ftartl’d, —_— I will
es be very tender and kind to you.” He

-then hurry’d off his cloaths, and leap’d inté

bed, having given me openings enough,
whilft he was ftripping, to obferve his
brawny ftructure, ftrong made limbs, ‘and
rough fhaggy breaft, ,
The bed fhook again when it receiv’d

this new load: He lay‘on the outfide,
where he kept the candles burning, no
doubt for the fatisfaction of ev’ry fenfe ;
for as foon as he had kifs’d me, he roll’d
down the bed-cloaths, and feem’d tranf-
ported with the view of all my perfon at
full length, which he cover’d with a pro-
fufion of kiffes,fparg no partofme.Then, .
being on his knees between my thighs,

| he

166 Memoirs of a
he drew up his fhirt, and bared all his
hairy thighs, and ftiff ftaring truncheon,
red-topt, and rooted into a thicket of
curls, which cover’d his belly to his navel,
and gave it the air of a flefh-brufh: and
foon I felt it joining clofe to mine, when
he had drove the nail up to the head, and
left no partition but the intermediate hair
on both fides. |

I had it now, I felt it now: and begin-
ning to drive, he foon gave nature fuch
a powerful fummons down to her favou-
rite quarters, that fhe could no longer re-
fufe repairing thither: all my animal fpi-
rits then rufh’d mechanically to that center
of attraction, and prefently, inly warm’d,
and ftirr’d as I was beyond bearing, I loft
all reftraint, and yielding to the force of
the emotion, gave down, as mere woman,
thofe effufions of pleafure, which in the
ftrictnefs of ftill faithful love, I could have
wifh’d to have held up.

Yet oh! what an immenfe difference did
I feel between this impreffion of a pleafure
merely animal, and ftruck out of the

, col- —

Woman of Pleafure. 167

collifion of the fexes, by a paffive bodily
effect, from that fweet fury, that rage of
active delight which crowns the enjoy-
ments of a mutual love-paffion, where
two hearts tenderly and truly united, club
to exalt the joy, and give it a fpirit and
foul that bids defiance to that end, which
mere momentary defires generally termi-
nate in, when they die of a furfeit of fatif-
faction. |
Mr. H———— whom no diftinétions of
that fort feem’d to diflract, fcarce gave
himfelf or me breathing time from the laft
encounter, but as if he had tafk’d himfelf
to prove thatthe appearances of his vigour,
were not figns hung out in vain, in a few
minutes he was in a condition for renewing
the onfet, to which preluding with a ftorm
of kiffes, he drove the fame courfe as be-
fore with unbated fervour, and thus in re- _
peated engagements, kept me conftantly in
exercife till dawn of morning, inall which:
time, he made me full fenfible of the vir-
tues of his firm texture of limbs, his fquare
fhoulders, broad cheft, compaét hard muf-
cles, in fhort a fyftem of manlinefs, that
might

168 | Memoirs of @
might nae for no bad image of our anti-
ent fturdy barons, when they weilded the
— battle-ax, whofe race is now fo thorough-
ly refin’d and fritter’d away into the more
delicate modern-built frame of our pap-
nerv’d foftlings, who are as pale, as pret.
ty, and almoft as mafculine as their fifters,
_ Mr. H-——, content however with hav-
ing the day break upon his triumphs, re-
fign’d me up to the refrefhment of a ref
we both wanted, and we feor: dropt into
a profound fleep.
Tho? he was fome time awake before
me, yet did he not offer to difturb a re-
pofe he had given me fo much occafion
for ; but en my firft ftirring, which was
not till paft ten o’clock, i was oblig’d to
endure one more trial of his manhood.
About eleven, in came Mrs. Jones, with
two bafons of the richeft foupe, which her
experience in thefe matters had mov’d her
to prepare. 1 pafs over the fullome com-
pliments, the cant of this decent procurefs,
with which fhe faluted us both, but tho”
my blood rofe at the aad of her, I fup-
| preft

Mey ae pee Co ea a tte ta te as ei ete OS ea ne

Woman of Pleafure. r69

preft my emotions, and gave.all my cap.

cern te refleétions on what would be the .

confequence of ‘this new engagement,

But Mr, H———, who penetrated my
uneafinefs, did not long fuffer me to lan-
cuifhamder it, and acquainted me, that
having taken a folid fincere affection to:
me, he would begin by giving me one:
leading mark of it, in removing me out

. Of a-houfe which muft for many reafons

be irkfome and difagreeable to me, into’

_ convenient lodgings, where he would take

all imaginable care of me; and defiring
me not to have any explanations with my
Jandiady, or be impatient till he returned,
he drefs’d and went out, having left me
a purfe with two and twenty guineas in
it, being all he had about him, as he ex-
preft it, to keep ny pocket till farther

~ fupplies.

As foon as he was gone, I felt the Ghat

‘ confequence of the Grit ae into vice 3

(for my love attachment to Charles never
appear’d to me in that light.) I was ins
{tantly born away down the ftream, with-

_out the power of making back to the

Vor. I, FH. fhorey

170 Memoirs of a
fhare. My dreadful neceffities, my gra- :
titude, and above all, to fay the- plain
truth, the diffipation, and diverfion I began
to find in this new acquaintance, from
the black corroding thoughts my heart
had been a prey to, ever fince the abfence
of my dear Charles, concurr’d to ftunall —
contrary. reflections, If] now thought of
_ my firft, my only charmer, it was ftill
with the tendernefs and regret of the fond-
eft love, embitter’d with the confcioufnefs
that I was no longer worthy of him, I
could have beg’d my bread with him
all over the world, but wretch that I was! .
I had neither the virtue orcourage requifite
not to outlive my feparation from him.
Yet! had not my heart-been thus pre-
ingag’d, Mr H -—— might probably
have been the fole mafter of it, but the
_ place was full, and the force of conjunct-
tures alone had made him the poffeffor of
my perfon, the charms of which had,
by the bye been his fole object, and paffion,
and were of courfe no foundation for a
love either very delicate, or very durable,
: He

Woman of Pleafure. 17t

He did not return till fix in the evening,
to take me away to my new lodgings,
and my moveables being foon pack’d,

_ and convey’d into a hackney-coach, 1

coft me but little regret to take my leave

of a landlady whom I thought! had fo

much reafon not to be over-pleas’d with,
and as for her part, fhe made no other
difference of my ftaying, or going, but —
what that of the profic created.

We foon got to the houfe appointed for
me, which was that of a plain tradefman,
who, on the fcore of intereft, was entirely
at M. H ——/’s devotion, and who
let him the &rft floor very genteelly
furnifh’d for too guineas a week, of
which I was inftated miftrefs, with a maid
to attend me.

He ftaid with me that evening, and we
had a fupper from a neighbouring ta-
vern, after which, and a gay glafsor two,
the maid put me to bed, Mr, es
foon follow’d, and notwithftanding the
fatigues of the preceding night, I found

H 2 no

172 Memoirs of a
no quarter nor remiffion from him: He
piqu’d himfelf, as he told me, on doing
the honours of my new apartment,

The morning being pretty well ad-
vanc’d, we got to breakfaft: and the ice

now broke, my beart, no longer engrofs’d

by love, beganto take eafe, and to pleafe
itfelf with fuch trifles as Mr. H—’s liberal
liking led him to make his court to the
ufual vanity of our fex. Silks, laces, ear-
rings, pearl-necklace, gold watch, in
fhort all the trinkets and articles of drefs
were lavifhly heap’d upon me, the fenfe
of which, if it did not create returns of
love, forc’d a kind of grateful fondnefgs
fomething like love, a diftinétion it would
be fpoiling the pleafure of nine tenths of
the keepers in the town to make, andisI
fuppofe the very good reafon why fo few of
them ever do make it.

I was now eftablifh’d the kept miftrefs,
in form, well lodg’d, witha very fuffi-
cient allowance, and lighted up with all
the luftre of drefs,

Mr.

Me eet an oe nae

Woman of Pleafure. 173
Mr, 7— contine’d kind‘and tender
tome, yet, with all this [ was far from hap-

—pys for, befides my regrets for my dear
youth, which though often fufpended, or -

diverted, ftill return’d upon me in certain
melancholic moments with redoubl’d vio-
lence, I wanted more fociety, . more dif-

. fipation.

As to Mr. H——, he was fo much my

fuperior in every fenfe, that I fele it too —

much to the difadvantage of the gratitude
I ow’d him, thus he gain’d my efteenr,
though he could not raife my tafte; I was
qualify’d for no fort of converfation wich
him, except one fort, and that is a fatis-
faction which leaves tirefome intervals, if
not fill’dup by love, or otheramufements,

‘Mr. H——, fo experienc’d, fo learn-—

ed in the ways of women, numbers of
whom had paft through his hands, doubt-
lefs foon perceiv’d this uneafinefS, and
without approving or liking me che better
for it, had the compluifance to. indulge
me.

H 3 He

174 Memoirs of a

He made. fuppers at my lodgings,
‘where he brought feveral companions
of his pleafures, with their miftrefles,
and by this means I got into a cirele of
acquaintance that foon ftrip’d me of all
the remains of bafhfulnefs and modefty
which might be -yet left of my ccuntry-
education, and were, to a juft rafte, per-
haps, the greateft of my charms.

We vifited one another in form, and
mimick’d, as near as we could, all the
miferies, the follies, and impertinences of ©
the women of quality, in the round of
which they srifle away their time,
without its ever entering into their
little heads, that On earth there cannot
fubfift any thing more filly, more flat,
more infipid and worthlefs, than, general-
ly confider’d, their fyftem of life is: they
~ ought to treat the men as their tyrants in-
deed! were they to condemn them toit,

But tho’, amongft the kept miftreffles
(and I was now acquainted with a good
many, befides fome ufeful matrons, who

live by their connexions with them)
I hardly

Nn ene 5

FNS RR ee

Woman of Pleafure. 175

I hardly knew one that did not perfectly
deteft their keepers, and of courfe, made

_ little or no fcruple of any infidelity they
. could fafely accomplifh, I had ftill no no-

tion of wronging mine: for befides that

no mark of jealoufy on his fide ftarted

me the hint, or gave me the provocation

to play him a trick of that fort, and that

his conftant generofity, politenefs, and ten-
der attentions to pleafe me, fore’d a re-

gard to him, that, without affecting my

heart, infur’d him my fidelity, no object
had yet prefented, that could overcome

the habicual liking I had contraéted for

him: and I was on the eve of obtaining
from the movements of his own voluntary
generofity, a modeft provifion for life,
when an accident happen’d which broke -
all the meafures he had refolv’d upon in
my favour,

I had now liv’d near feven months with |
Mr. H » when one day returning
to my lodgings, from a-vifit in the neigh-
bourhood, where I us’d to ftay longer, I
found the ftreet-door open, and the maid

H 4 of

¥96 Memnrs of @
of the houfe ftanding at ic talking with
fome of her acquaintance, fo that I came |
in without knocking 5 and as I paft by,
fhe told me Mr, H— was above, I ftept up
{tairs into my own bed-chamber, with no
other thought than of pulling off my hat,
€fc, and then to wait upon him in the
dining-room, into which my bed-chamber
had a door, as iscommon enough. Whilft
I was untying my hat-ftrings, I fancy’d I
heard my maid Hansnab’s voice, and a
fort of tuftle, which raifing my curiofity,
I ftole foftly to the door, where a knot
iathe wood had been flipt out, and afford-
ed a very commanding peep-hole to the
fcene then in agitation, the actors of which
had been too earneftly employ’d, to hear
my opening my own door, from the landing
place of the ftais, into my bed-chamber,
The firft fight that ftruck me, was
Mr. H—- pulling and hauling this
courfe country-ftrammed towards a couch
that ftood inthe corner of the dining-
room 3; to which the girl made only a
fort of an aukward hoidening refiftance,

crying |

le eee

Woman of Pleafure. 177
crying out fo ud/ that 1 who hiften’d -
at the door could fcarce hear her,
«s Pray, Sir, don’c—— let me alone —
‘s T am-not for your tura..—— You can-
‘s not, fure, demean yourfelf with fuch

© a peor body as hk ——-. Lord, Sir,

‘© my miftrefs may come home. I
‘¢ muft not indeed. I will cry out—”
All which did not hinder her from in-
fenfibly fuffering herfelf to be brought to
the foot of the couch ; upon which a pufh
of no mighty violence ferv’d to give her
a very eafy fall, and my gentleman having
got up his hands to the ftrong-hold of her
vartue, fhe no doubt, thought ic was time
to give up the argument, and that all
further defence would be vain; andhe
throwing her petticoats over her face,
which was now as red as fcarlet, difcover’d
a pair of ftout, plump, fubftantial thighs,
and tolerably white ; he mounted them
round his hips, and coming out with his
drawn weapon, ftuck it in the cloven
fpot, where he feem’d to find a lefs
difficult entrance than perhaps he had

iH 5 flat-

178 Memoirs of a

flatter’d himfelf with (for by the way this
Blouze had left her place in the. country
for a baftard) and indeed all his motions
fhew’d he was lodg’d pretty much
at large. After he had done, his dearee gets
up, drops her petticoats down, and
fmooths her apron and_ handkerchief.
Mr, A —— look’d a little filly, and
taking out fome money, gave it her, with —
an air indifferent enough, biding her be a
good girl, and fay nothing.

_ Had I lov’d this man, it was not in na-
ture for me to have had patience to fee the
whole fcene through: I fhould have
broke in and play’d the jealous princefg
with a vengance ; but that was not the
cafe, my pride alone was hurt, my heart |
not, and J could eafier win upon myfelf
to fee how far he would go, till I had no
uncertainty upon my conicience.

The leatt delicate of all affairs of this
fort being now over, I retir’d foftly in-
to my clofet, where I began to confider
what I fhould do: my firft fcheme na-
turally wasto rufh in and upbraid them :

| this

—_
e

Woman of Pleafure. 179
this indeed flatter’d my prefent emotions
and vexations, as it would have given im-
mediate vent to them; but on fecond
thoughts, not being fo clear as to the
confequence to be apptehended from fuch —
a ftep, I began to doubt whether it was
not better to diflemble my difcovery, till
a fafer feafon, when Mr. H. fhould
have perfected the fettlement he had made
overtures to me of, and which I was not
to think fuch a violent explanation, as I

_ was indeed not equal to the management

of, could poffibly forward, and might
deftroy. On the other hand, the provo-
cation feem’d too grofs, too flagrant, not
to give me fome thoughts of revenge, the
very ftart of which idea reftor’d me to
perfect compoiure, and delighted as I was
with the confus’d plan of it in my head,
1 was eafily miftrefs enough of myfelfto |
fupport the part of ignorance I hid pre-
fcrib’d to myfelf; and as all this
circle of reflections was inftantly over,
I ftole a tip- toe to the .paflage-door, and
Opeauig it with a noife, paft for having

that

180 . Memoirs of a .

that moment come home; and: after ¢
fhort paufe, as if to pull of my things,
I open’d the door into the dining-room,
where I found the dowdy blowing the
fire, and my faithful fthepherd walking
about the room, and whiftling, as cool
and unconcern’d,. as if nothing had hap-
pen’d: I think, however, he had not

i. _ Much. to brag of having out-diffembled

me ;. for | kept up, nobly, the character
of our fex for art, and went up to him
with the fame-open air of franknefs, as I
had ever receiv’d him. He ftaid but a

little while, made fome excufe for not.

being able to ftay the evening with me,
and went out.

As for the wench, fhe was now fpoil’d
at leaft for my fervant; and fcarce eight
and forty hours were gone round, before
her infolence, on what had pafs’d between
Mr... and her, gave me fo fair an
occafion to turn her away at a minute’s
warning, that not to have done it would
have been the wonder; fo that he could
neither difapprove it, nor find in it the

Jeaft

cat

Woman of Pleafure. x81

leaft veafon to fufpe& my original mo-

tive. What became of her afterwards
I know not ;. but generous as Mr. H—
was, he undoubtedly made her amends:
tho’ IF dare. anfwer, that he kept up no
farther commerce with her of that forc;
as his. fLooping: to fuch a coarfe morfel,
was only a. fudden fally of luft, on feeing
a wholefome-looking, buxom country-
wench, and no more ftrange than hunger,
or even a wimfical appetite’s making a
flying meal of neck-beef, for change of
diet. ;

Had I confider’d this efcape of Mr.

_ -H—— in no more than that light, and

contented myfelf with turning away the
wench, I had thought and acted right;
bur, flufh’d as: I was with imaginary
wrongs, I fhould have held Mr. H——
to have been too cheaply off, if I had not
pufh’d my revenge farther, and repaid
him, as exactly as I could for the foul of

me, inthe fame coin.
Nor was this worthy act of juftice long
delaid: I had it too much at heart,
Mr,

182 Memoirs of a

Mr. had, about a fortnight
before, taken into his fervice a tenant’s
fon, juft come out of the country, a very
handfome young lad, fearce turn’d of
nineteen, frefh as a rofe, well fhap’d,
and clever-limb’d ; in fhort, a very good
excufe for any woman’s liking, even tho’
revenge had been out of the queftion;
any woman, I fay, who was difpreju-
dic’d, and had wit and fpirie enough to
_ prefer a point of pleafure to a point of-
pride. |

Mr. H had clap’d a livery
upon him; and his chief employ was,
aftcr being fhewn my lodgings, to bring
and carry letters or mefiages between his
mafter and me; and’as the fituation of all
' kept-ladies is.not the fitteft to infpire re-
fpect even to the meaneft of mankind,
and perhaps lefs of it from the moft ig-
norant, I could not help obferving, that
this lad, who was, I fuppofe, acquainted
with my relation to his mafter by his fellow
fervants, ufed to eye me, in that bafhfu]
: : con-

Woman of Pleafure. 183

Confus’d way, more expreffive, more

moving, and readier catch’d at by our
fex, than any other declarations whatever :
my figure had, it feems, ftruck him, and
modeft and innoceat as he was, he. did not

himfelf know that the pleafure he took in.

looking at me was love, or defire ; but
his eyes, naturally wanton, aud now en-
flam’d by paffion, fpoke a great deal
more than he durft have imagin’d
they did. Hitherto indeed I had only

_taken notice of the comelinefs of the youth,

but without the leaft defign: My pride
alone would have guarded me from a
thought that way, had not Mr. H—~’s

condefcenfion with my maid, wherethere _

was not half the temptation in point of
perfon, fet mea dangerous example ; but
now | began to look ‘on this ftripling as

every way a delicious inftrument of my ~

defign’d retaliation upon Mr. #.
of an obligation for which I fhould have
made a con{cience to die in his debt.

In order then to pave the way for the

accomplifhment of my fcheme, for two
| or

-

184 |§ Memoirs of a |

or three times that che young fellow came
to me with meflages, I manag’d fo, as
without affectation, to have him admitted
to my bed-fide, or brought to me at my
toilet, where I was dreffing ; and. by
carelefly fhewing, or letting him fee, as
if without meaning or defign, fometimes
_ my bofom rather more bare than it fhould
be 5 fometimes my: hair, of which F had
a very fine head, in thesnatural flow: of
it while combing ; fometimes a.neat leg,
that had unfortunately flipe its garter,
which I made no fcruple of tying before
lim:; eafily gave him the impreffions fa-
vourable to: my purpofe, which I could

perceive to fparkle in-his eyes, and glow .

in hischeek's: Then certain flight fqueezes
by the hand, as I took Jetters from him,
did his bufinefs compleatly.

When I faw him thus mov’d, and fir’d
for my purpofe, Tinflam’d him yet more,
by afking him feveral leading queftions ;
fuch as, ‘** had he a miftrefs >——~
‘¢ was fhe prettier than me ?—— could he
* Jove fuch a.one as I was ? —_——_ and

“¢ the |

a. 6
Pet 8 as a ye,

net eT a,
'

Woman of Pleafure. 185
ce the like ;” to all which the blufhing
fimpleton anfwer’d to my wih, ina {train

of perfect nature, perfect undebauch’d in-

necence, but with all the aukwardnefs

and fimplicity of country- breeding.
When I thought I had’ fufficiently

ripen’d him for the laudable point I

had in view ; one day that I expected

him at a particular hour, I tuok care
to have the coaft clear for the reception
I defign’d him: and, as I had laid it,

‘he came to the dining-room door, tap-

ped at it, and on my bidding him come

in, he did fo, and fhut the door after

him: I defir’d him then to bolt it on the
infide, pretending it would not otherwife.
keep fhut,

I was then lying at —_ on that very
couch, the fcene of Mr. H. *s polite
joys, in an undrefs, which was with all
the art of negligence flowing Ioofe, and

ina moft tempting diforder, no ftays, ‘no

hoop——— no incumbrance whatever: on
the other hand, he ftood ata little d#-
ftance, that gave me a full view of a fine

featur'd,

186 . Memowrs of a

featur’d, fhapely, healthy, country lad,
breathing the {weets of frefh blooming
youth: his hair, which was of a perfect
- fhining black, play’d to his face in natural
fide-curls, and was fet out with a fmart
tuck-up behind: new buck-fkin breeches,
that clipping clofe, fhew’d the fhape of
a plump well made thigh, white ftock-
ings, garter-laced livery, fhoulder-knor,
altogether compos’d a figure in which
the beauties of pure flefh and blood, ap-
pear’d under no difgrace from the low-
nefs of a drefs, to which a certain fpruce
neatnefs feems peculiarly fitted.

I bid him come towards me, and
give me his letter, at the fame time
throwing down carelefly, a book I had
in my hands. He colour’d, ayd came
within reach of delivering me the letter,
which he held out aukwardly enough for
me to take, with his eyesrivetted on my
bofom, which was, through the defign’d
diforder of my handkerchief, fufficiently
bare, and rather fhaded than hid.

I, fmil-

ae

Woman of Pleafure. 187
I, fmiling in his face, took the letter,
and immediatly catching gently hold of

‘his fhirt-fleeve, drew him towards me,

blufhing, and almoft trembling : for fure-
ly his extreme bafhfulnefs, and utter in-
experience, call’d for at leaft al] thefe

‘advances to encourage him: his body

was now conveniently inclin’d towards

“me, and juft foftly chucking his fmooth

beardlefs chin, I afk’d him, If be was |
afraid of a lady ?——-and with that took
and carrying his hand to my breafts, I
preft it tenderly cothem; they were now
finely furnifh’d, and raifed in flefh, fo
that panting with defire, they rofe, and
fell, in quick heaves, under his touch;
at this the boy’s eyes began to lighten with
all the fires of inflam’d mature, and_ his
cheeks flufh’d with a deep fcarlet : tongue-
tied with joy, rapture, amd bafhfulnefs,
he could not fpeak, but then his: looks,
his emotion, fufficiently fatisfy’d me chat
my train had taken, and that I had no
difappointment to fear.

My

188 Memoirs of a

My lips, which I threw in his way, fo
as that he could not efcape.kiffing them,.
fix’d, fir’d and embolden’d him, and now
glancing my eyes towards that part of his
drefs which cover’d the effential object
of enjoyment, I plainly difcover’d the
{well and commotion there, and as I was
now too far advanc’d to ftop in fo fair a
way, and was indeed no longer able to
contain myfelf,, or wait the flower progrefs
of his maiden bafhfulnefs, (for fuch ic
feem’d, and really was) I ftole my hand
upon his thighs, down one of which, I
could beth fee and feel a ftiff hard body,
confin’d by his breeches, that my fingers
could difcover no end to: curious then and
eager to unfold fo alarming a myftery,
playing as it were with his buttons, which
were burfting ripe from the active force
within, thofe of his waift-band and fore-
flap flew open at a touch, when out if
ftarted ; and now, difingag’d from the
fhirt, I faw with wonder and furprize,
what? not the play-thing of a boy, not

the weapon of a man, but a may-pole of
| fo

+" EE. cc

ee I ree cents ee

Woman of Pleafure. 189
fo enormous.a ftandard, that had propor-
tions been obferv’d, it muft have belong’d
to a young giant: its prodigious fize made
me fhrink again : yet! I could not with-

_ out pleafure behold, and even ventur’d to

feel, fuch a length! fuch a breadth of
animated fvory, perfectly well curn’d and
fafhion’d, the proud ftiffnefs of which

- diftended its fkin, whofe fmooth polith,

and velvet-foftnefs, might vye with that of
the moft delicate of our fex, and whofe
exquifite whitenefs was not a little fet off
by a fprout of black curling hair round
the root, through the jetty {prigs of which,

the fair fkin fhew’d as, in a fine evening,

you may have remark’d the clear light
gether, through thebranch-work of diftant
trees, over topping the fummet of a hill:

~ then the broad and bluifh-cafted incarnate

of the head, and blue ferpentines of its
veins, altogether compos’d the’ moft ftrik-
ing affemblage of figure and colours in
nature ; in fhort, it ftood an object of
terror and delight.

But

190 Memars of a

But what was yet more furprifing, the

owner of this natural curiofity (through -
the want of occafions in the ftriétnefs of

his home-breeding, and the little time he
had been in town not having afforded
him one) was hitherto an abfolute

ftranger, in practice at leaft, tothe ufe of .

all that manhood he was fo nobly ftock’d
with ; and it now fell to my lot to ftand
’ his firft erial of it, if I could refolve to
run the rifques of its difproportion to that
tender part of me, which fuch an over-
fiz’d machine was very fit to lay in ruins,

But it was now of the lateft to del ibe-
rate, for by this time, the young fellow,
over-heated with the prefent objects, and
too high-mettl’d to be longer curb’d in
by that modefty and awe which had hi-
therto reftrain’d him, ventur’d, under the

{tronger impulfe and inftruétive prompter. .

fhip of nature alone, to flip his hands
trembling with eager impetuous defires,
‘under my petty-coats, and feeing, I fup-
pofe, nothing extremely fevere in my

looks to ftop, or dafh him, he feels -
: ant

——_

ee ee ES. crt

Woman of Pleafure. 191

and feizes gently the center-fpot of his

ardours: oh then! the fiery couch of his
fingers determines me, and my fears melt-
ing away before the growing intolerable
heat, my thighs difclofe of themfelves,
and yield all liberty to hishand: and now
afavourable movement giving my petty-
coats a tofs, the avenue lay too fair, too
open to be mift ; he is now upon me: I
had placed myfelf with a jet under him,
as commodious, and open as poffible to
his attempts, which were untoward enough,
for his machine meeting with no inlet, bore
and batter’d ftifly againft me in random
pufhes, now above, now below, now be-
fide his point, till burning with impa-
tience from its irritating touches, I guided
gently with my hand, this furious fefcue
to where my young novice was now to
be taught his firft leffon of pleafure : thus-
he nick’d at lengththe warm and infuffi-
cient orifice: but he was made to find no
breach. practicable, and mine, though fo
often enter’d, was ftill far from wide
enough to take him eafily in, —

By

192 Dfemoirs of a
By my direttion, however, the ‘head
of his unwieldy machine was fo criti-

cally pointed, that feeling him fore-right

againtt the tender opening, a favourable
motion from me, met his timely thruft,

by which the lips of it, ftrenuoufly dilat-
ed, gave way to his thus-affifted impetuo--

firy, fo that we might both feel that he

had gain’d a hodgment:: :perfuing then his

point, he feon, iby violent, and to me moft
painful piercing thrults, wedges himfelf at
leaft fo far in, as to be now tolerably
fecure of his entrance: here he ftuck ; and
I now felt fuch a mixture of pleafure and

pain, as there is no giving a definition

of : I dreaded, alike, his fpliting me far-

ther up, ‘or his with-drawing : [ could not |

bear either to keep, or part with him : the
fenfe of pain, however, prevailing, from
his prodigtous fize and ftiffnefs, aéting
upon me in thofe continu’d rapid thrufts

with which he furioufly perfu’d his pene-

tration, made me cry out gently, ** oh,
“my dear, you hurt me!” ‘This was
enough to check the tender refpectful

boy,

ee ee

Woman of Pleafure. 193
boy, even in his mid-career: and he im-
mediately drew out the {weet caufe of my

. complaint, whilft his eyes eloquently ex-

prefs’d at once his grief for hurting me,
and his reluétance at diflodging from
quarters, of which the warmth and clofe-
nefs had given him a gutft of pleafure that
he was now defire-mad to fatisfy, and yet
too much a novice not to be afraid of my
withholding his relief, on account of the
pain he had put me to.

But I was myfelf far from being pleas’d
with his having too much regarded my
tender exclaims, for now more and more

fir'd with the object before me, as it ftill

ftood with the fierceft ere€tion, unbon-
neted, and difplaying its broad vermillion
head : I firft gave the youth a re-encou-
raging kifs, which he repaid me with a
fervour that feem’d at once to thank me,
and bribe my farther compliance, and I
foon replac’d myfelf in a pofture to re-* ,
ceive, at all rifques, the renew’d inva-
fion, which he did not delay an inftant ;
for being prefently remounted, I once

Vo. I. I : more

194 Memoirs of a

more felt the fmooth hard griftle, forcing
an entrance, which he. atchiev’d rather
eafier than before: pain’d, however, as |
was, with his efforts of gaining a com-
plete admiffion, which he was fo regard.
ful as to manage by gentle degrees, 1 took
care not to complain ; in the mean time,
the foft ftrait paffage gradually loofens,
yields, and, ftretch’d to its utmoft bear-
ing, by the ftiff, thick, in-driven engine,
fenfible at once to the ravifhing pleafure
of the feel, and the pain of the diftenfion,
Jet him in about half way, when all the
moft nervous activity he now exerted to
further his penetration, gain’d him not
an inch of his purpofe; for whilft he
hefitated there, the crifis of pleafure over-
took him, and the clofe compreflure of the
warm furrounding fold, drew from him the
extatic gufh, even before mine was ready
to meet it, kept up by the pain I had en-
dur’d in the courfe of the engagement,
from the unfufferable fize of his weapon,
cho’ it was not as yet in above half its length,
I expected then, but without wifhing it,
that he would draw ; but was pleafingly
difappointed, for he was not to be let off
fo. The well-breath’d youth, +hot-mettl’d,
and fluth with genial juices, was now fairly
| in

Woman of Pleafure. 195
in for making me know my driver : as
‘foon then as he had made a fhort paufe,
‘waking as it were out of the trance of
pleafure, (in which every fenfe feem’d loft
for a while, whilft, with his eyes fhut,
and fhort quick breathings, he had yielded
down his maiden tribute ;) he ftill kept his
peft, yet unfated with enjoyment, and
folacing in thefe-fo new delights, till his
ftiffnefs, which had fcarce perceptibly re- —
mitted, being throughly recover’d to him,
who had not once unfheath’d, he proceed-
-ed afrefh to cleave andopen to himfelf an
entire entry into me, which was nota little
-made eafy to him by the balfamic in-
jection, with which he had juft plentifully
moiften’d the whole internals of the paf-
fage ; redoubling then the active energy
‘of his thrufts, favour’d by the fervid ap-
-petency of my motions, the fofe oil’d
wards can no longer ftand fo effectual a
-picklock, but yield, and open him an en-
trance: and now with confpiring nature,
and my induftry, ftrong to aid him, he
pierces, penetrates, and at length, winning
his way inch by inch, gets entirely in,
‘and finally, ahome-made thruft, fheaths
it up cothe guard ; on the information of
which, from the clofe jointure of our

— [2 bodies,

196 Memoirs of a

bodies, (infomuch that the hair on ‘both
fides perfectly interweav’d, and incur!’d,

together), the eyes of the tranfported youth
{parkl’d with more joyous fires, and all his
looks and motions acknowledg’d_ excefs
of pleafure, which I now began to fhare,
for I felt him in my very vitals! I was
quite fick with delight! ftir’d beyond

‘ bearing with its furious agitations within

me, and gorg’d and cram’d even to a
furfeit : thus I lay gafping, panting, under

him, till his broken breathings, faultering

accents, eyes twinkling with humid fires,

lunges more furious, and an encreafed ftiff- ~
nefs gave me to hail the approaches of the.

fecond period : ——~ it came,——~ and the
{weet youth, overpower’d with the extafy,
died away in my arms, melting in a flood,
that fhot in genial warmth into the inner-
moft recefles of my body, every conduit
of which, dedicated to that pleafure, was
on flow to mix with it: thas we continu’d
for fome inftants, loft,breathlels, fenfe-
lefs of every thing, and in every part, but
thofe favourite ones of nature, in which all
that we enjoy’d of life and fenfation, was

now totally concenter’d.
When our mutual trance was a little
over, and the young poe had withdrawn
that

ee ee a a po) a GE TET
.

Woman of Pleafure. 197

that delicious ftretcher, with which he had
moft plentifully drown’d all thoughts of
revenge, in the fenfe of actual pleafure, the
widen’d wounded paffage refunded a ftream
of pearly liquids, which flow’d down my
thighs, mix’d with ftreaks of blood. the
marks of the ravage of that monftrous
machine of his, which had now triumph’d
over a kind of fecond maiden-head: I
ftole, however, my handkerchief to thofe
parts, and wip’d them as dry as I could,
whilft he was re-adjufting,and buttoning up.

I made him now fit down by me, and
as he had gather’d courage from fuch
extreme intimacy, he gave me an after-
courfe of pleafure, in a natural burft of ©
tender gratitude and joy, at the new
fcenes of blifs I had open’d to him 3
fcenes pofitively fonew, that he had never
before had the leaft acquaintance with that

‘miftertous mark, the cloven ftamp of fe.

male diftinétion, tho’ nobody better qua.

_iify’d_ than he to penetrate into its deepeft

receffes, or do it nobler juftice; but when
by certain motions, certain unquietnefies
of his hands, that wander’d not without
defign, I found he Janguifh’d for fatif-
fying a Curiofity, natural enough, to view
and handle thofe parts which atrract and

: I 3 con-

198 §§ Memoirs of a

concenter the warmeft force of imagination,
charm’d as I was to have any occafion of
obliging and humouring his young defires,
I fuffer’d him to proceed as he pleas’d,
without check or controul, to the fatif-
faction of them.

Eafily then reading in my eyes the full |
permiffion of myfelf to all his wifhes,
he fcarce pleas’d himfelf more than me,
when having infinuated his hands under
my petticoat and fhift, he prefently re-
mov’d thofe bars to the fight, by flily
lifting them upwards, under favour of a
thoufand kiffes, which he thought, per-
haps, neceffary to divert my attention to
what he was about, All my drapery be-
ing now roll’d up-to my waift, 1 threw
myfelf into fuch a pofture upon the couch,
as gave upto him, in fullview, the whole
region of delight, and al] the luxurious
Jandfcape round it. The tranfported
youth, devour’d every thing with his eyes,
and try’d with his fingers to lay more open
- to his fight the fecrets of that dark and
delicious deep : he opens the folding lips,
the foftnefs of which yielding entry to_
any thing of a hard body, clofe round it,
and oppofe the fight: and feeling fur-
ther, meets with, and wonders at, a foft

flefhy

Woman of Pleafure. 199
flefhy excrefcence, which, limber and re-
Jax’d after the late enjoyment, now grew,
under the touch and examination of his
fiery fingers, more and more ftiff and con-
fiderable, till the titilating ardours of that
fo fenfible part, made me figh, as if he
had hurt me. On which he withdrew his
curious probing fingers, afking me par-
don, as it were, in a kifs that rather in-
creas’d the flame there.

Novelty ever makes the ftrongeft im-
preffions, and in pleafures efpecially ; no
wonderthen, that he was fwallow’d up
in raptures of admiration of things fo
interefting by their nature, and now feen
and handled for the firft time. On my

part, I was richly overpaid for the plea-

fure I gave him, in that of examining the
power of thofe objects thus abandon’d to
him, naked, and free to his loofeft with,
over theartlefs, natural ftripling: his eyes _
{ftreaming fire, his cheeks glowing with a
florid red, his fervid frequent fighs, whilft
his hands convulfively fqueez’d, opened,
prefs’d together again the lips and fides
of that deep flefh-wound, or gently
twich’d the over-growing mofs; and all
proclaim’d the excefs, the riot of joys,.
in having his wantonnefs thus hunour’d.

7 I 4. But.

200 Memoirs of a

But he did not long abufe my patience,
for the objects before him had now put
him by all his, and coming out with that
formidable machine of his, he lets the
fury loofe, and pointing it directly to thé
pouting-lipt mouth, that bid him fweet
defiance in dumb-fhew, fqueezes in the
head, and driving with refrefh’d rage,
breaks in, and plugs up the whole paf-
fage of that foft-pleafure-conduit, where
he makes al] fhake again, and put once
more all within me into fuch an uproar,
as nothing could ftill, but a frefh inun-
dation from the very .engine of thofe
flames, as well as from all the {prings
- with which nature floats that recevoir of
joy, when rifen to its flood-mark. —

I was now fo bruifed, fo batter’d, fo
fpent with this over-match, that I could
hardly ftir, or raife myfelf, but lay pal-
pitating, till the ferment of my fenfes fub-
fiding by degrees, and the hour ftriking
at which I was oblig’d to difpatch my
young man, I tenderly advis’d him of the
— neceffity there was for parting, which I
felt as much difpleafure at as he could do,
who feem’d eagerly difpos’d to keep the
field, and to enter on a frefh action: but
the danger was too great ; and after fome

| . hearty

ee

ae:

Woman of Pleafure. 201

hearty kiffes of leave, and recommend-

ations of fecrecy, and difcretion, I forc’d
myfelf to force him away, not without
affurances of feeing him again, to the

fame purpofe, as foon as poffible, and

thruft a guinea into his hands: not more;
left being too flufh of money, a fufpicion
or difcovery, might arife from thence,
having every thing to fear from the dan-
gerous indifcretion of that age in which
young fellows would be too irrefiftable,
too charming, if we had not that terrible
fault to guard againft. 3
Giddy and intoxicated as I was with
fuch fatiating draughts of pleafure, I ftill
Jay onthe couch, fupinely ftretch’d out,
in a delicious Janguor diffus’d over all
my limbs, hugging mylf for being
thus reveng’d to my heart’s content, and
that ina manner fo precifely -alike, and
on the identical fpot, tn which I had re-
ceiv’d the fuppos’d injury: no reflections

‘on the confequences ever once perplex’d
_ me, nordid I make myfelf one fingle

reproach for having, by this ftep, com-
pletely enter’d myfelf of a profeffion
more decry’d than difus’d. Ifhould have
held it ingratitude to the pleafure I had
receiv’d, to have repented of it; and.

I5 fince

2.02 Memoirs of a

fince I was now over the bar, I thought
by plunging over head and ears into the
{tream I was hurried away by, to drown
all fenfe of fhame or reflection.

Whilft I was thus making thefe laudable.
difpofitions, and whifpering to myfelf
a kind of tacit vow of incontinency,
_ enters Mr. #7 » The confcioufnefs
of what I had been doing, deepen’d yet
the glowing of my cheeks, flufhed with
the warmth of the late action, which,
join’d to the piquant air of my difhabil,
drew from Mr. H-—-— a compliment on
my looks, which he was proceeding to
back the fincerity of with proofs, and that
with fo brifk an action, as made me tremble
for fear of a difcovery from the condition
thofe parts were left in from their late
fevere handling : the orifice dilated and.
inflam’d, the lips fwoln with their un-—
common diftenfion, the ringlets prefs’d
down, crufh’d and uncurl’d with the
overflowing moifture that had wet every
thing round it; the different feel and
ftate of things, "in fhort, would saath
have pafs’d, upon one of Mr. H
nicety and experience, unaccounted for
but by the real caufe; but here the wo-
man fav’d me. I pretended a arts

lle

foo

a ee , owe
i “

Woman of Pleafure. 22%
diforder.of my head, and a feverifh heart,
that indifpos’d me too much to receive his
embraces, He gave into this, and good-
naturedly defifted, Soon after, an old
lady coming in, made a third, very 4
propos for the confufion I was in, and
Mr. H——, after bidding me take care
of myfelf, and recommending me to my. __
repofe, left me much at eafe, and reliev’d.
by his abfence. 7

In the clofe of the evening, I took.

. care to have prepar’d for me a warm.

bath of aromatick and fweet herbs; in
whith,. having fully lav’d, and folaced
myfelf, I came out voluptioufly refrefh ad.
in body and fpirit. :

The next morning, waking pretty.
early after a night’s perfect reft and com--
pofure, it was not without fome dread and
uneafinefs, that I thought of what inno-
vation that tender foft. fyftem of mine
might have fuftain’d from the fhock of a.
machine fo fiz’d for its deftruction.

Struck with this apprehenfion, I fcarce
dar’d to carry my hand thither, to in--
form myfelf of the ftate and pofture. of:
things.

But I was foon agreeably cur’d of
my fears,
SO The

204 Memoirs of a

The filky hair that cover’d round the
borders, now fmooth’d, and reprun’d,
had refum’d its wonted curl and trimnefs ;
the flefhy pouting lips, that had ftood
the brunt of the engagement, were no
longer fwoln or moifture-drench’d ; and
neither they, nor the paffage into which
they open’d, that had fuffer’d fo great a
dilatation, betray’d any the leaft altera-
tion, outward or inwardly, tothe moft
curious refearch, notwithftanding alfo the
laxity that naturally follows the warm
bath.

This continuation of that grateful
ftriéture whic) is in us, to the men, the
very jet of their pleafure, I ow’d, it feems,
toa happy habit of body, juicy, plump,
and furnifh’d towards the texture of thofe
paris, with a fullnefs of foft fpringy flefh,
that yeilding fufficiently as it does, to al-
moft any diftenfion, foon recovers itfelf
fo as to retighten that {trict compreffion
of its mantlings and folds which form the
fides of the paffage, wherewith it fo ten-
derly embraces, and clofely clips any fo-
reign body introduc’d iato it, fuch as my
exploring finger then was.

Finding then every thing in due tone
and order, I remember’d my fears, only

tO

ss -
eS Se ee a

Woman of Pleafure. 205

tomake a jeft of themto myfelf. And
now, palpably miftrefs of any fize of man,

_ and triumphing in my double -atchieve-

ment of pleafure and revenge, I aban-
don’d myfelf entirely to the ideas of all
the delight I had fwam in. I lay ftretch-
ing out, glowingly alive all over, and
toffing with burning impatience for the
renewal of joys that had finn’d but in a
fweet excefs : nor did I lofe my long-
ing, for about ten in the morning,
according to éxpectation, Vill, my new
humble fweet-heart, came with a mefiage
from his mafter, Mr. H-——, to know

~ how I did. I had taken care to fend my

maid on an errand into the-city, that I

_ was fure would take up time enough;

and from the people of the houfé I had no-
thing to fear, as they were plain good
fort of folks, and wife enough to mind
no more of other people’s bufinefs than
they could well help.

All difpofitions then made, not for-
geting thatof lying in bed to receive him ;

when he was enter’d the door of my bed-

chamber, a latch that I govern’d by a
wire, defcended, and fecur’d it.

I could not but obferve that my young
minion was as much {pruc’d out as could

——

206 Memoirs of a

be expected from one in his condition; a
defire of pleafing that could noc be indiffe- ©
rent to me, fince it prov’d that I pleas’d
him, which laffure you was nowa point
J] was not above having in view. ;

His hair trimly drefs’d, clean linnen
and above all, a hale, ruddy, wholefome
country look, made him out as pretty a
piece of woman’s meat as you fhould fee,
and I fhould have thought any one much
out of tafte, that could not have madea
hearty meal of fuch a morfel as nature
feem’d to have defign’d for the higheft
diet of pleafure.

And why fhould I here fupprefs ‘the.
delight I receiv’d from this amiable crea-
ture, in remarking each artlefs look, each
motion of pure undiffembled nature, be-—
tray’'d by his wanton eyes, or fhewing
tranfparently the glow and fuffufion of
blood through his frefh, clear fkin, whilft
even his fturdy, ruftic preffures, wanted
not their peculiar charm? Oh! but fay
you, this was a young fellow in too low
a rank of life to deferve fo great a difplay,
May be fo! but was my condition, ftrict-
ly confider’d, one jot more exalted ? or
had I really been much above him, did
not his capacity of giving fuch bs be

_ pita-

5 tig . 7 rl -

Woman of Pleafure. 207.
pleafure fufficiently raife and enoble him, —
to me at leaft? Let who would, for me,
cherifh, refpect, and reward the painter’s,

_ the ftatuary’s, the mufician’s arts, in pro-

portion to the delight taken inthem; but
at my age, and with my tafte for plea-
fure, atafte ftrongly conftitutional to me ;
the talent of pleafing, with which nature

has endow’d a handfome perfon, form’d

to me the greateft of all merits; compa-
red to which the vulgar prejudices in fa-
vour of titles, dignities, honours, and the
like, held a very low rank indeed! nor
perhaps would the beauties of the body
be fo much affected to be held cheap,
were they in their nature to be bought
and deliver’d; but for me, whofe natural
philofophy all refided in the favourite cen--
ter of fenfe, and who was rul’d by its
powerful inftinct, in taking pleafure by
its right handle, I could fcarce have
made a choice more to my purpofe.

Mr. H—+'s loftier qualifications of
birth, fortune, and fenfe, laid me under
a fort of fubjeétion and conftraint, that
were far from making harmony in the
concert of love; nor had he perhaps
thought me worth foftening that fupe-
riority to; but with this lad J was more
on that level which love delights in.

ee We

208 Memoirs of a

We may fay what we pleafe, but thofe
we can be the eafieft and freeft with, are
ever thofe we like, not to fay love the beft.

With this ftrippling, all whofe art of
love was the action of it, I could without
check of aweor reftraint, give a loofe to
joy, and execute every fcheme of dalliance
my fond fancy might put me on, in which
he was, ‘in every fenfe, a moft exquifite
companion. And now my great pleafure
Jay in humouring all the petulances, all
the wanton frolic of a raw novice juft
flefh’d, and keen on the burning fcent of
his game, but unbroken tothe {port : and
to carry on the figure, who could better
thread the wood than he, or ftand fairer
for the heart of the hunt?

He advanc’d then to my bedfide, and
whilft he faulter’d out his meffage, I
could obferve his colour rife, and his eyes
lighten with joy, in feeing me in a fitua-
tion as favourable to his loofeft wifhes, as
if he had befpoke the play.

T, {mil’d, and put out my hand towards
him, which he kneel’d down to, (a po-
litenefs taught him by love alone, that great
mafter of it) and greedily kifs’d. After
exchanging a few confus’d queftions and
aniwers, 1 afk’d him if he would come to

bed

_ mae = .

¢

Woman of Pleafure: 209
bed to me forthe little time I could ven-
ture to detain him. This was juft afking

‘aperfon dying with hunger, to feaft upon

the difh on earth the moft to his palate, Ac-
cordingly, without farther reflection, all
his cloaths were off in an inftant; when
blufhing ftill more at this new liberty, he
got under the bed-cloaths I held up to
receive him, and was now in bed with a
woman for the firft time in his life,

Here began the ufual tender prelimina-
ries, as delicious perhaps as the crowning
act of enjoyment itfelf; which they often
beget an impatience of, that makes plea-
fure deftruétive of it elf, by hurrying on
the final period, and clofing that fcene of |
blifs, in which the aétors are generally too
well pleas’d with their parts, not to wifh
them an eternity of duration.

When we had fufficiently graduated our
advances towards the main point, by toy-
ing, kiffing, clipping, feeling my breafts,
now round and plump, feeling that pare ~
of me I might calla furnace-mouth, from
the prodigious intenfe heat his fery touches
had rekindled there; my young fportf-
man, embolden’d by every freedom he
could wifh, wantonly takes my Hand, and
carries it to that enormous machine of a

that

210 Memoirs of 4
that ftood witha ftiffnefs! a hardnefs! an
upward bent of erection! and which, te-
gether with its bottom dependence, the
ineftimable bulfe of lady’s jewels, form’d
a grand fhow out of goods indeed! Then
its dimenfions, mocking either grafp or
fpan, almoft renew’d my terrors, I could
not conceive how, or by what means, I
-could take, or put fuch a bulk out of
fight. I ftroak’d it gently, on which the
mutinous rogue feem’d to fwell, and ga-
ther a new degree of fiercenefs and info-
lence ; fo that finding it grew not to be
trifl’d with any longer, I prepar’d. for

rubbers in good earneft,
Slipping then a pillow under me, that -
I might give him the faireft play, I
guided officioufly with my hand, this fu-
rious battering-ram, whofe ruby head pre-
fenting neareft the refemblance of a heart,
I applied to its proper mark, which lay.
as finely elevated as we could wifh; my
hips being born up, and my thighs at |
their utmoft extenfion, the gleamy warmth
that fhot from it, made him feel that he
was at the mouth of the indraught, and
driving foreright, the powerfully divided
lips of that pleafure-thirfty channel re-
ceiv’d him, He hefitated-a little; then,
fettled.

ck ee ee eee

eg I rn gag ee

_ Woman of “Pleafure. 21X

fettled well in the paflage, he makes his —
way up the ftreights of ir, witha difficul-
ty nothing more than pleating, widening
ashe went, fo as to diftend and {mooth

each foft furrow: our pleafure increafing

delicioufly, in proportion as our points of
mutual touch increas’d, in that fo vital
part of me, in which I had now taken
him, all indriven, and compleatly fheath’d,
and which cram’d as it was, ftretch’d
{pliting ripe, gave it fo gratefully ftrait

an accommodation! fo ftriét a fold! a |

fuction fo fierce, that gave and took unut-
terable delight! We had now reach’d the

— Clofeft point of union; but when he back-

en’d to come on the fiercer, as if I had
been actuated by a fear of lofing him, in-
the height of my fury, I twift my. legs
round his naked loins, the fAlefh of which,
fo firm, fo fpringy tothe touch, quiver'’d .
again under the preffure; and now I had
him every way encircled and begirt ; and
having drawn him home to me, I kept ©
him faft there, as if I had fought to u-
nite bodies with him at thatpoint. This —
bred a ae of action, a pleafure ftop ;
whilft that delicate glutton, my neither-
mouth, as full as it could hold, kept
palating, with exquifite relifh, the morfel
thac

212 Memoirs of a

that fo delicioufly ingorg’d it. But na-
ture could not Jong endure a pleafure that
fo highly provok’d without fatisfying it;
perfuing then its darling end, the batte-
ry recommenc’d with redoubled exertion 3
nor lay I unactive on my fide, but encoun-
tring him with all the impetuofity of mo-
tion I was miftrefs of, the downy cloath-
ing of our meeting mounts, was now of
real ufe to break the violence of the tilt ;
and foon, too foon indeed! the high-
wrought agitation, the {weet urgency of
this to-and-fro fri€tion, rais’ d the titilation
on me to it’s height, fo that finding my-
felf on the point of going, and loath to
leave the tender partner of my joys be-
hind me, I employ’d all the forwarding
motions and arts my experience fuggefted
to me, to promote his keeping me com-
pany to our. journey’s end, I not only
_ then tightened the pleafure-girth round my
reftlefs inmate, by a fecret {pring of fucti-
on and compreffion, that obeysthe will in
thofe parts, but ftole my hand foftly to that
ftore-bag of nature’s prime fweets, which
is fo pleafingly attach’d to its conduit-
pipe, from which we receive them ;
there feeling, and moft gently indeed
{queezing thofe tender globular refervoirs,
the

Woman of Pleafure. 213

the magic touch took inftat effect,
quicken’d, and brought on upon the fpur,
the fymptoms of that {weet agoeny, the
melting moment of diffolution, when
pleafure dies by pleafure, and the myfte-
rious engine of it overcomes. the titillation
it has rais’d in thofe parts, by plying them
with the ftream of a warm liquid, that is
itfelf the higheft .of all titiJlations, and

which they thirftily exprefs, and draw in

like the hot-natured leach, who, to cool
itfelf, tenacioufly attraéts all che moifture

within its {phere of exfuction: chiming

then to me, with exquifite confent, as I
melted away, his oily balfamic injection
mixing delicioufly with the fluices in flow
from me, fheath’d and blunted all the
ftings of pleafure, whilft ic flung us into
an extacy, that extended us fainting,

_breathlefs, entranced. Thus we lay,

whilft a voluptuous languor poffeft, and
{till maintain’d us motionlefs, and faft
lock’d in one another’s arms. Alafs! —
that thefe delights fhould be no longer-
liv’d! for now the point of pleafure, un-
edg’d by enjoyment, and all the brifk
fenfations - flatten’d upon us, refign’d us
up to the cool cares of infipid life. Dif-
ingaging myfelf then from his embrace,
| I made

\

24 Memoirs of a

I made him fenfable of the reafons there
were for his prefent leaving me; on
which, tho’ reluctantly, he put on_ his
cloaths with as little expedition, however,
as he could help, wantonly interrupting
_himfelf between whiles, with kiffes,

_ touches, and embraces,. I could not re-

fufe myfelftoo; yet he happily return’d.to
his mafter before he was mifs’d ; but at
taking leave, I forc’d him (for he had fen-
timents enough to refufe it) to receive mo-
ney enough to buy a filver watch, that
great article of fubaltern finery, which he
at length accepted of asa remembrance he
_ was carefully to pyeferve of my affections,

“And here, Madam, I ought perhaps
to make youan apology for this minute
. detail of things, that dwelt fo ftrongly
upon my memory after fo deep an impreffi-
_ on. But befides that this intrigue bred
one great revolution in my life, which
hiftorical truth requires 1 fhould not fink
upon you; may I not prefume that fo
exalted a pleafure ought not to be un-
gratefully forgotten or fupprefs’d by me,
_ becaufe I found it in a character in Jow
life, where, by the bye, it is oftner met
with, purer and more unfophifticate, than . -

amongft the falfe ridiculous refinements
with

at up emphatically with action; and to

Woman of Pleafure. . 215
with which the great fuffer themfelves
to be fo grofly cheated by their pride:

the great! than whom, there exift few

amongft thofe they call the vulgar, who
are more ignorant of, or who cultivate
lefs, the art of living than they do: they,
I fay, who for ever miftake things the

_ moft foreign to the nature of pleafure it-

felf, whofe capital favourite object is
enjoyment of beauty, wherever that rare
invaluable gift is found,without diftinCtion
of birth or ftation.

As love never had, fo now revenge
had no longer any fhare inmy commerce
with this handfomie youth. The fole
pleafures of enjoyment were now the link
I held to him by: for though nature had
done fuch great matters for him in his
outward form, and efpecially in that
{uperb piece of furniture fhe had fo liberally
enrich’d him with; though he was thus.

| qualify’d to give the fenfes their richeft

feaft, ftill there was fomething more want-—

Ing to create in me, and confticute the

paffion of love. Yet Wilj had very good
qualities toc, gentle, tractable, and above
all grateful : filentious, even toa fault; he
fpoke at any time very little, but made

do

216 Memars of a

do him juftice, he never gave me the leaft
reafonto complain either of any tendency
to encroach upon me for the liberties I
allow’d him, or of his indifcretion in
blabing them, There is then a fatality
in love, or have lov’d him I muft,; for
he was really a treafure, a bit for che
bonne bouche of a duchefs: and, to fay
the truth, my liking for him was fo ex-
treme; that it was diftinguifhing very
nicely to deny thatI lov’d him.

My happinefs, however, with him did
not Jaft long, but found an end from my
own imprudent neglect. After having
taken even fuperfluous precautions againft
a difcovery, our fuccefs in repeated meet-
ings embolden’d me to omit the barely
neceflary ones. About a month after
our firft intercourfe, one fatal morning (the
feafon Mr. 1 rarely, or never vifited
me in) I was in my clofet, where my toi-
Jette ftood, in nothing but my fhift, a
bed-gown, and under-petty-coat. Wil}
was with me, and both ever too well dif-
pos’d to baulk an opportunity : for my
part, 4 warm whim, a wanton toy had
juft taken me, and I had challeng’d my
man to execute it on the fpot; who hefi-
tated not to comply with my sl ;

oo : was

Woman of Pleafure. 21 7

I was fat in the arm-chair, my fhift and
petty-coat up, my thighs wide {pread, and
mounted over the arms of the chair, pre-
fenting the faireft mark to Wiis drawn
weapon, which he ftood in act to plunge
into me, when, having neglected to fe-
cure the chamber door, and that of the
clofet ftanding a-jar, Mr. H—— ftole
in upon us, before either of us was aware,
and faw us precifely in thefe convicting
attitudes. - ee -

I gave a great fcream, and drop’d my
petty-coat: the thunderftruck lad ftood
trembling and pale, waiting his fentence
of death, Mr. H—-— look’d fometimes
at one, fometimes at the other, with a
- mixture of indignation and {fcorn, and,
without faying a word, fpun upon his
heel, and went out.

As confus’d as I was, I heard him
very diftinétly turn the key, and lock the
chamber-door upon us, fo that there was
no efcape but through the dining-room,
where he himfelf was walking about
with diftemper’d ftrides, ftamping in
a great chafe, and doubtlefs debating
what he fhould do with us, .

218 Memoirs of a

Jn the mean ‘time poor William was

frighten’d out ‘of his fenfes, and as much
need as J had of {pirits to ‘fupport myfelf,
I-was oblig’d to employ them all to keep
his a little up: The misfortune | had now
brogghr upon him, endear’d him themore
_ tome, and I could ‘have joyfully ‘fuffer'd
any punifhment he had noe fhar’d m. I
avater'd dc abi ‘my tears the face
ef the ‘frighten’d ‘youth, who fat, ‘not
having ftrength to ftand, as cold and as
lifelefs as a-{tatue. _ .
Prefently ‘Mr. H¥7——~ ‘comes ‘in to us
again, and made us go before:him into
the dining:room, trembling and dreading
the iffle : Mr. H— fat down ona
chair, whilft-we ftood like criminals un-
der examination ; and, beginning with
me, afk’d me with aneven-firm tone of
VOICE, neither ‘foft nor ‘fevere, but cruel-
ly indifferent, what ‘I could ‘fay for
myfelf for having abus’d him in-fo un-
worthy a manner, with'his own ‘fervant

too, and how he had deferv’d this of |

me ?

‘Without adding to the guilt df ‘my :in-
fidelity that of an audacious defence of ‘it,
in the old ftyle of a common kept Mifs,
my anfwer was modeft, and often inter-

rupted

+

Woman of Pleafure. a2tg
supted by my tears, in fubltance as fol-
oer: ‘* Fhat.I] had never had a fingle
«. choughs of wranging him (which was
ss crue). till FE had feen him taking the
es lait liberties with my fervant-wench,

ss (here he celour’d prodigioufly). and
’ s¢ thas my sefentment at that which }
‘© was over-aw "d from giving a vent to. by
*s complaints, or explanations with him,

_ 6 had driven me to.a courfethat I did not |

“© pretend to juftify, but that as to the
« young man, he was entirely faultlefs, for
¢¢ thas in the view of making him the in-
«* firument ef my revenge, I had down
right fedue’d him to what he had done,
s¢ and therefore hop’d, whatever he deter-
+“ min’d abous me, he would diftinguifh
«¢ -bet ween the guHtty and the innocent ; and,
«¢ that, for the refit, I was entirely at his
«s mercy.”

Mr. H-—, on hearing what I hid,
hung his head a little, but inftancly reco-
vering himfelf, he faid to me, “as nearas I
ean retain, to the following purpofe :

‘© Madam, 1 take fhame to myfelf,
© and confefs you have fairly turn’d. the
<s tables upon me, ————————— It is not
<< with one of your caft of breeding: and
as * fentiments thae I Should enter into a
| K 2 “6 dif-

220 Memosrs of a

‘< difcuffion of the very great difference
<< of the provocations: be it fufficient that —
«s T allow you fo much reafon on your
“© fide, as to have changed my refolutions,
«¢ in confideration of what you reproach
«sme with: and I own too, that your
¢¢ clearing that rafcal there is fair and ho-
«¢ neft in-you: renew with you I can-
** not; the affront is too grofs: I give
«¢ you a week’s warning, to go out of
—~ thefe lodgings: whatever I have given
“© you, remains to yous and as I never
«© intend to fee you more, the landlord
will pay you fifty pieces on my account,
‘© with which, and every debt paid, I
<< hope you will own I do not leave you
«¢ in a worfe condition than what I took
*¢ you up in, or than you deferve of me.
sb Blame yourfelf only that it is no |.
¢s better.” 7 |
' Fhen, without giving me time to re- |
ly, he addreft himfelf to the young fel-
Py = young fel-
ow. :
_ « For you, fpark, I fhall for your.
‘© father’s fake take care of you: the
‘© town is no place for fuch an eafy fool
‘< as thou art; and to-morrow you fhall
«© fet out under the charge of one of my
«men, well recommended, in my name,
: n ; 6¢ to

ta)

n

A“

cw"

;

“

Woman of Phafure. 2a;
< eo your father, not to let you return
‘© and be fpoile here.”

At thefe words he went out, after my
vainly attenypting to ftop him, by throw-
ing myfelf at his feet: he took me off, -

_ .though he feem’d greatly mov’d too, |

and took /7i/j away with him, who, I
a. fwear, thought himfelf very cheap-
ly off.

I was now once more a-drift, and lefe
vpon my own hands, by a gentleman
whom I certainly did not deferve. And
all the letters, arts, friends entreaties that
L employ’d within the week of grace in
my lodging, could never win on him fo
much as to fee me again. He had irre-

vocably prenoune’d my doom, and fub-

mifGion to it was my only part. Soon af-

, ter hé married a lady of birth and for-

tune, to whom I have heard he prov’d
an itreproachable hufbaad.

- As for poor iii, he was immediately
fent down to the coantry, -to his father,
who was an eafy farmer, where he was
not four months before an ian-keeper’s
buxom young widow, with a very good
ftock both in money and trade, fancy’d,

_ end perhaps pre-acquainted with his fecret

excellencies, taarry’d him; and I am
Kg - ture

222 ©. Memoirs of a. —
fure there. was at leaft one good founda-
tion for their living happily together. -
Though I fhould have been charm’d
to fee him before he went, fuch meafures
were taken by Mr. H *s orders
that it was impoffible ; otherwife I fhould
certainly have endeavour’d to detain him
in town, and would have fpar’d neither
offers nor expence to have procur’d my-
felf the fatisfaction of keeping him with
me, he had fuch powerful holds upon my
inclinations as were not eafily to be fhaken
off or replac’d ; as to my heart, it was

quite out of the queftion: glad however —

I was from my foul that nothing worfe,
and, as things turn’d out, probably no-
thing better could have happen’d to him.

As to Mr. H——~, though views of.

conveniency made me at firft exert. my-
felf to. regain his affection, .I was giddy
and thoughtlefs enough to be much eafier
reconcil’d to my failure than I ought to
have been; but as I never had lov’d
him, and his leaving me gave me a_ fort
of liberty that I had often long’d for, I
was {oon comforted ;. and flattering my-
felf that the ftock of youth and beauty I
was going into trade with, could hardly
fail of procuring mea ae, I
: | | | Ww

os

--— we <> [ <n ae

-ing my fituation, came to offer her cor-

Woman of Pleafure. 223
faw myfelf undera neceffity of trying my -
fortune with them, rather with pleafure
and gayety, than with the leaft idea of
defpondence, ~

In the mean time, feveral of my ac-
quaintance amongft the fifter hood, who
had foon got wind of my misfortune,
flock’d to infule me with their malicious
confolations : moft of them had Jong en-
vied me the affluence and {plendour I had
been maintain’d in; and though there
was fcarce one of them that did nos at -
Jeaft deferve to be in my cafe, and would
probably fooner or, later come to it, it was
equally. eafy to remark, even in their af-_
fected pity, their fecret. pleafure at feeing

me thus difgrac’d and difcarded, and
. their fecret grief that it was ftill no worfe
.with me. Unaccountable malice. of the
— human heart! and which is not confin’d
to the clafs of life they were of.

But as.the time approach’d for me to
eomé to fome refolution how to difpofe of
myfelf, and I was confidering round where

to fhift my quarters to, Mrs, Cole, a mid-

dle-aged difcret fort of woman, who had
been brought into my acquaintance by one
of the mifies that vifited me, upon learn-

dial

224 Memoirs of a

dial advice and fervice to me’ and ae 1
had always taken to her more than toany
of my female acquaintanee, | liften’d the
eafier to her propofals; and as # hap-
pen’d, I could not have put myfelf mto
worfe, or into better. hands in al! Lowder 3
into worfe, becaufe keeping a houfe of
conveniency, there were no lengths in
lewdnefs fhe would nor advife me to go
in compliance with her cuftomers, no
_fchemes of pleafure, or event unbounded
debauchery, fhe did not take even a de-
light in promoting: into better, becaufe -
no ae had more experience of
the wicked part of the town then fhe had,
was fitter to advife and guard one againtt
the worft dangers of out profeffion ; and
what was rare tobe met with in thofe of
her’s, fhe contented herfelf with a mode-
rate living profie upon her induftry and -
good offices, and had nothing of their
greedy rapacious turn, She was geally .
too a gentlewoman born, atid bred, but
through a train of accidents reduc’d to
this courfe, which fhe purfued epartly
through mieceffiry, partly through choice,
as ntver woman delighted more in en-
‘touraging a brifk circulation of the trade,
for the fake of thettade itfelf, oF —

| : > under

Woman of Pleafure. 225

‘underftood .all the myfteries and refine-
ments of it, thari fhe did; fo that fhe was
confummately at the top of her profeffion,
and dealt only with Somer of diftinc-
tion: to anfwer the demands of whom fhe
kept a competent number of her daugh-
ters in conftant recruit: - fo fhe call’d
thofe whom their youth and _perfonal
charms recommended to her adoption
and management: feveral of whom, by
her means, and through her tuition and
inftru€tions, f{icceeded very well in the
world. en
This ufeful gentlewoman, upon -whofe
protection. I now threw myfelf, having
her reafons of ftate, refpecting Mr. H—,
for not appearing too much in the thing

herfelf, fent a friend of her’s, on the day

appointed for my removal, to condué
me to my new lodgings, at a brufh-ma-

‘ kers in R——/ffreet, Covent-Garden, the
"very next door to her own houfe, where

fhe had no conveniences to lodge me her-
felf; lodgings, that by having been for fe-
veral fucceffions tenanted by ladies of plea-
fure, the landlord of them was familiariz’d
to their ways; and provided, the rent was

duly paid, every thing elfe was as ealy

and as commodious as one could defire.
7 The

226 Memars of a '
Fhe fifty guineas promis’d me by Mr,
H—=, at his parting with me, having
been duly paid me, all my cloaths and
moveables chefted up, which were at leaft
of two hundred pounds value, I had them
convey’d into the coach, where I foon
follow’d them, after taking a civil leave
of the landlord and his family, with
whom I had never liv’d in a degree of fa-
miliarity enough to regret the removal »
but ftill, the very circumftance of its be-
ing a removal, drew tears from me. I left
too a letter of thanks for Mr. H-—,
trom whom I concluded myfelf, asi seal- -
ly was, wretrievably feparated. |
. My maid I had difcharged the day be-
fore, not only becaufe I had her of Mr.
H—, but that J fufpected her of hav-
ing, fome how or other been the occafion
of his difcovering, me, Im revenge perhaps
for my not having trufted her in it.
_, We were foon got to my Jodgings,
which, though not fo handfomely fur-
nifh’d, nor fo fhowy as thofe I left, were
to thejfull as convenient, and at half price,
though on the firft floor, My trunks
were fafely landed, and ftow’d in my apart-
ments, where my neighbour and now
governante, Mrs, Cole, was ready with -
te my

|

Woman of Pleafure. 227

my landlord to receive me, to whom fhe
took care to. fet .me out in the moft fa-

_vourable light, that of one from whom

there was the cleareft reafon to expeét the
regular payment of his rent: all the car-
dinal virtues attributed to me would not
have had half the weight of that recom-
mendation alone. | | .
I was now fettled in lodgings of my
own, abandon’d to my own conduét, and
turn’d loofe upon the town, to fink or
fwim, as I could manage with the cur-

rent of it: and what were the confe-

quences, together with the number of ad-
ventures which befell me in the exercife
of my new profeffion, will compofe the
matter of another letter; for, furely, ic
is high time to put a pertod to this.

SL am,
MAD 4M,

Yours, Efe. EFe. EFe.

a

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